Or, translated:
Hurry up FA, and give the England manager job to my dad. We are getting a bit worried at the delay, especially because things are getting a bit squiffy her now, and we don't want that to influence the outcome.
The (not so) Good Ship SS Tottenham is shipping water at an alarming rate now, and its beginning to show. In fact its slowing, floundering and could capsize at any time, which is a pity as earlier in its current voyage, it was steaming full-ahead. It badly needs new stabilizers to right it, but there don't seem to be any around capable of re-righting it. Dad has no intention of doing the good captain bit, and going down with the ship. He doesn't like getting his clothes wet, you see (just ask David Bentley, who was confined to quarters when he tried that). He wants to get on the first lifeboat off and jump to the nearest and best rescue ship, and he knows that the SS England is steaming not too far away, which looks like the best transfer package available.
The SS Tottenham 'passengers' are starting to see water rising in the lower decks, and its put the boilers out. A recent collision with a Russian-owned ship may have jammed the rudder, too. It is looking increasingly rudderless. The rate of level of alarm is going up, especially as the stokers cannot re-light the boilers, and anyway the ship appears to be running out of fuel, as well as steam, and direction. Some 'passengers' think it should have been carrying more fuel right at the beginning of the voyage, and that it constitutes negligence that inaquate stocks were in not place in the first place. Quite possibly some new crew members might be the answer, and of a higher standard than some of the current ones, and certainly a new captain, many of the 'passengers' are saying.
Much better for dad to be transferred to the other vessel now, especially as the horizon looks rosier in that direction. I'm a bit worried that the SS England appears to be in the becalmed Sargasso Sea at the moment, and it could change quickly to mountainous seas and storms, even though that may be in the middle of a regatta, but the storms don't seem as regular as at the SS Tottenham, so I think its a risk worth taking. So lower the rope quickly, so dad can leg it and transfer his command and his captaincy to the bigger and shinier vessel. Its the Flagship of the fleet, so you could, in fact, say that, at the same time, he is being promoted to Admiral, so a nice little earner too.
Only trouble is Jamie, the biggest and shiniest vessels may not always be the best way of sailing, especially if you are not a good enough captain, and some of the biggest have sunk on their maiden voyage. No matter how calm the sea is (now), it could be infested with sharks below the water line, and swimming with sharks means you are likely to be bitten. Badly. Its also best if your ship had a massively thick hull, but in your dad's case, I'm not sure his has.
The new, or repaired SS Tottenham, should be a super-ship with poweful engines, sleek, sexy, streamlined, super-armed with both defensive armament and especially bloody great big powerful offensive guns as a main armament. The best radar too. It should also have a highly experienced new captain, who has sailed many seas, and preferably won some regattas too. A Portuguese captain is the best one around, and though expensive, would be the best choice to command the new vessel. It would be nice if the new vessel had a new shiny and matching port to go with it too, soon.