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Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

This thread always gives me a little hope for men. How much do we have to bottle up before it spills over?
I have watched men, young men, old men, contain every emotion they ever had and not say a word about it to anyone. I love this thread.
 
monkeybarry said:
I have been tracking my mood everyday in an app to give me a reference and perspectives when I feel bad.
Only had one real bad day I the last month.

A few meh days, including today. Im in Oslo and went for a long walk in the snow. Eventually my mind started lying to me - it's the first time I have truly understood that sometimes the mind lies.
I now recognise it and will learn how to manage and react to it differently. Today was the usual of feeling negative, worthless and (passively) suicidal.

It's always around the same two subjects too - "home" and relationships.
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Hope you’re doing okay, buddy. Like everything in life those feelings will pass. Bit of a cliche, but it’s true.

The mood app is a very good idea. I went through a serious depressive episode 15 years or so ago. Keeping a diary was one of the things that worked best for me- it helped me remember that there were times when it all felt fine and that gave me something to hold on to in the really bleak moments.
 
Mikey10 said:
Hope you’re doing okay, buddy. Like everything in life those feelings will pass. Bit of a cliche, but it’s true.

The mood app is a very good idea. I went through a serious depressive episode 15 years or so ago. Keeping a diary was one of the things that worked best for me- it helped me remember that there were times when it all felt fine and that gave me something to hold on to in the really bleak moments.
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Cheers mate!
I have this habit of taking on too much all the time anyway, so the app gives me a graph instead of having to think about how I've been feeling - GHod knows that's a crap idea with anxiety:D

Had a weird weekend in Oslo.
Started the trip feeling that I don't want to just travel solo anymore as it's nice to share experiences.
On a walking tour I bumped into someone I play netball with every week, but don't know that well. Spent the rest of the trip trying to make sure we didn't bump into eachother again. I'm not good at small talk etc
Ended up not doing a couple of things I really wanted to do. Doh.

Weirdly starting to feel old now too. I'll be 38 in June. Suddenly 40 feels significant. Need to get my next relationship right.

Edit; apparently I'll be 37 in June. :confused:
 
StephenH said:
Your still a baby MB.



Relationships are like the weather, you can't control them. So as for trying to get "the next one right", just take a waterproof coat and enjoy.

Oslo is a nice town, wasn't very wheelchair friendly back in 1995.

Look after yourself geezer!
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Cheers dude.
I guess I'm just used to solid relationships and don't want to waste my time, life is too short (says the guys that was suicidal a few years ago:D:D).
I need to just "go with it" a bit more.

Oslo is definitely wheelchair friendly now, however I'm not sure the weather is when the snow starts to melt!
 
monkeybarry said:
Cheers dude.
I guess I'm just used to solid relationships and don't want to waste my time, life is too short (says the guys that was suicidal a few years ago:D:D).
I need to just "go with it" a bit more.

Oslo is definitely wheelchair friendly now, however I'm not sure the weather is when the snow starts to melt!
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Chilling out has to be worked at mate. I’ve only had about 4 proper relationships in my 66 years and the current one is in its 39 year so I know SFA about them! My wife is a saint to put up with me, as she frequently tells me.
Snow is the devils dandruff!! I use a pair of crutches to get about over short distances, so snow is a no no!
 
Having suffered from periodic bouts of poor mental health over many years, I always find the loss of control and inevitable, if slow, descent horrible, and the pain and aggravation it causes loved ones. You certainly discover who cares about you, though.
 
It is almost like fighting an addiction how on the ball and alert you have to be to your problems all the time.

Was a bad night, about 2 hours sleep, sort of flitting between wake and sleep, I know all the techniques for getting to sleep, but when those ghosts from your past come visiting the is no chance.

One of my friends walked out on his wife and kids and has gone camping in the New Forest. Going to drive down there try and find him and see what is going on with him. He shares similar personality traits to me and had been talking about anxiety. Sort of caught up in my own issues I had not really noticed.

Said to Lucy my wife that maybe he just needs some time away, I feel like it sometimes that you just need to be on your own and some space and that can do you good. Thought about driving to York to see a rail museum then wondered if that was me going mad. It is the constant second guessing and trying to work out why you do what you do. So tiring to be on it the whole time.

Brighton half marathon tomorrow, going to go and watch. Was planning on doing it next year, I cant run though, to many years of excessive cycling means it feels funny on my legs, im a cyclist.

Love you all, stay healthy.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
It is almost like fighting an addiction how on the ball and alert you have to be to your problems all the time.

Was a bad night, about 2 hours sleep, sort of flitting between wake and sleep, I know all the techniques for getting to sleep, but when those ghosts from your past come visiting the is no chance.

One of my friends walked out on his wife and kids and has gone camping in the New Forest. Going to drive down there try and find him and see what is going on with him. He shares similar personality traits to me and had been talking about anxiety. Sort of caught up in my own issues I had not really noticed.

Said to Lucy my wife that maybe he just needs some time away, I feel like it sometimes that you just need to be on your own and some space and that can do you good. Thought about driving to York to see a rail museum then wondered if that was me going mad. It is the constant second guessing and trying to work out why you do what you do. So tiring to be on it the whole time.

Brighton half marathon tomorrow, going to go and watch. Was planning on doing it next year, I cant run though, to many years of excessive cycling means it feels funny on my legs, im a cyclist.

Love you all, stay healthy.
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I think needing time to yourself is of paramount importance mate. Me and my missus recognize it, and often make sure that we find the time for each other to take off for a couple of days solo here and there. I think the hardest thing about ghosts and pasts is fully realizing that they are "gone" and now is now. So simply on paper/screen, so hard in real life, but in those moments of solo time, the key I believe is to do simply stuff like stare at a cloud or a bird or a tree and just watch it. Marvel at the shapes, the light, anything which draws you into contemplating how amazingly great and intricate seemingly simple brick can be. From there you start to feel a sense of satisfaction about the "moment" and then hopefully you bring that to realizing that the "moment" is what we have the greatest degree of control over, so choose the bright path.

Drive to York, see that rail museum and be grateful you still have the capacity to enjoy such things my friend.
Be well.
 
I have lost my marbles today as my Skypes locked me out, the email I registered it with is an old work one and i cant get back in. Lost everything.
 
fudging struggling a bit at the moment. Without going into too much detail, myself and my wife had a massive blowout Christmas Day. She got drunk and verbally abused me and attempted to go for me in front of the kids. Wasn’t the first time. Since then she’s denied, denied, denied. She pushed it down the legal route. Got served with court papers last week where, amongst other flimflam, she falsely used the death of my father last year against me. Have to go see a barrister tomorrow to respond to the justifications for ending the marriage she made against me.

Last month, my mam was diagnosed with cancer. She got brought into hospital last week and yesterday I spent the day holding the hand of a petrified 83 year old woman crying for her mother. The doctors told us yesterday to prepare ourselves.

The only things that have brought me much pleasure over the last two months have been Spurs and my kids. I guess they’re the only two things that are for life. Yesterday was one of the brickest days I’ve had but it felt great to leave out a scream when Harry scored. Football isn’t as important as life and death, nowhere near, but it’s fudging wonderful.

Not sure why I’ve gone and put all that on here. Been struggling under the weight of it today I guess and the people on here have always struck me as good uns too.
 
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