Thanks for making it this far!
Just wanted to share with you guys in here. About 6 weeks ago, after a very long period of trying out all kinds of therapy, exercise, meditation, diets, lifestyle changes, altering sleep patterns etc - I decided to go down the medicinal route again, and read a research paper, a meta-analysis of the most effective SSRI's out there, where Cipralex was cited as one of the three most effective ones - as the two others aren't available in Norway I went to my doctor (a new one I had gotten last summer as we moved back then) and told him of my situation and the little research I had done, and he agreed that we should give it a go.
All kinds of brick are written about these medicines, and it seems like a lot of people have a bias towards them. Some for good reason, others not so much. Sure, they can make you feel flat in the long term (the last one I took, Zoloft, made me kind of careless, in a bad way), some experience erectile dysfunction, some can get even worse symptoms for taking them - but the most effective of these medicines do help a lot of people with their symptoms. Read more about the study here:
https://www.theguardian.com/science...ork-antidepressants-are-effective-study-shows
Anyway - back to my story. Two weeks after starting taking 10mg of Cipralex I started feeling better. Now, 6 weeks in, I can honestly say I'm feeling better than I have done in probably 15 years. I don't wake up every morning with a feeling of dread, and the same self defeating thoughts spinning in my head. I feel authentic when I greet people I don't know well (I used to feel like a phony), and I also feel like I have a much more genuine interest in other people. My depressive thoughts are down by probably 90% - I very rarely sit and ruminate over pointless little details (before I could sit and ruminate over something I had said to someone two weeks back, and evaluate back and forth what that person might think of me, and how this might affect my this and that later on etc). I don't dread the future anymore. I feel more involved with the things I enjoy and with people around me than I have done these past 15 years. It's like a black veil that has been hanging over me for so many years have just lifted. I've gone on like this for so many years because I've sort of accepted that it's been part of me and who I am, and not really thought it realistic that I could do something about it.
Now, I'm not saying this is all some miracle drug and I'll be living happily ever after. It's not like I'm walking on air here, but I'm feeling much more robust now than I have before. Stuff that used to upset me still upsets me, but not to the same extent that it used to. I got into a discussion with a colleague the other day, but instead of going straight into black mode (where I usually just become quiet and go "well, that's just your opinion" and go black with rage inside), I stated my point of view clearly and not over exaggerated or with anger, and got the support from lots of people around me (this with a loudmouth of a know-it-all colleague who is basically clueless), and for the first time in ages, it felt like I could say what I really think and feel about something, and I said it with conviction for a change, and people took notice! fudging A! That hasn't happened in a long while. And it's all these other things similar to this, situations where I stand more up for myself, or where I give that little bit extra because I have that little bit extra energy - and it's given life this little extra - I feel like I'm worth something for the first time in ages, like I'm making a tiny bit of difference to other people, and the people that don't like what I say - well, fudge them, I'm not gonna spend time ruminating over it.
Again, I know it's not some sort of miracle that will make me feel good forever, but it seems to have given me that slight extra barrier of defense, it's like I'm actually standing up for myself instead of beating myself down. And for the first time in probably 15 years I'm actually saying to myself, "I feel well", and I mean it. I look forward to things other than getting drunk watching Spurs (I look forward to that too, of course). That feeling of having that extra barrier of defense is really the key thing to me with this. It's like my brain is trying to help me instead of defeat me. I've been working with all kinds of cognitive therapy approaches, and they do help really well, but I've always had to fight real hard to keep it up, like I'm continously trying to convince myself that I'm not a bad person, even though deep down I've felt like a bad person, or something inside me has said, "sure, you're not bad ... but you know you are". This time that just feels different. There's a robustness added. I still feel quite anxious in social situations I don't like, but in a different way, I don't go on feeling bad about them after they're over, and I don't blame myself for feeling bad, and also, kind of just accept that I'm an introverted guy, and that I don't have to keep a conversation going for the sake of it. It's like I've switched out Gary Doc and Stuart Nethercott for Jan and Toby in my mental back four.
And yeah - not saying you should all go out getting doped up, but maybe not dismiss the medicinal route, if you haven't tried it. I had tried 3 other SSRI's before Cipralex, and none of them were good to me, but this one works. And it's made a world of difference.
)
Glad to hear you’re doing better!
Cipralex was my drug too, when I suffered from depression about 10-15 years ago. I had the same experience; it stabilised my mood and made me feel like myself again. Was on it twice, for about 6-7 months each time, with probably 4-5 years i between. The great thing about it in my experience was that the effect didn't wear out when I quit the drug. It stabilised my mood beyond the actual period I was on it, and it was only after a rough period with the death of a close relative and the end of a long relationship that I fell into depression again, and needed help from drugs.
Since the last time, cirka 2010, I haven't needed Cipralex to cope with my occational down periods and depression (who has never been as bad as it was back then either, knock on wood). I honestly think the drug helped produce some sort of permanent/semi permanent stabilisation to my mind, and I hope you will experience the same. Good luck!
(It had one annoying side effect, though, during sex it was much harder to get an orgasm. But on the plus side it meant I could last much longer.
My doctor said this too, "at least now you know that this is one thing that works". I'll be on it for 6 months and evaluate after that. I think what you're saying is basically what the professionals behind the drugs want these drugs to do, that by using them over a period of time your brain can create some new connections and new pathways that will be lasting beyond taking the meds. Sounds like science fiction, but that's how it's supposed to (and supposedly it does!) work. I haven't noticed any effects on the sex life so far, but I've heard this from other people too. I had something similar to what you're describing on Zoloft, it was quite weird. 
Sounds like I might need to pay my GP a visit... as I was prescribed Amitriptyline for migraines and depression a couple of years ago but whilst it does leave me feeling comfortably numb it has done little to elevate my mood.Just wanted to share with you guys in here. About 6 weeks ago, after a very long period of trying out all kinds of therapy, exercise, meditation, diets, lifestyle changes, altering sleep patterns etc - I decided to go down the medicinal route again, and read a research paper, a meta-analysis of the most effective SSRI's out there, where Cipralex was cited as one of the three most effective ones - as the two others aren't available in Norway I went to my doctor (a new one I had gotten last summer as we moved back then) and told him of my situation and the little research I had done, and he agreed that we should give it a go.
All kinds of brick are written about these medicines, and it seems like a lot of people have a bias towards them. Some for good reason, others not so much. Sure, they can make you feel flat in the long term (the last one I took, Zoloft, made me kind of careless, in a bad way), some experience erectile dysfunction, some can get even worse symptoms for taking them - but the most effective of these medicines do help a lot of people with their symptoms. Read more about the study here:
https://www.theguardian.com/science...ork-antidepressants-are-effective-study-shows
Anyway - back to my story. Two weeks after starting taking 10mg of Cipralex I started feeling better. Now, 6 weeks in, I can honestly say I'm feeling better than I have done in probably 15 years. I don't wake up every morning with a feeling of dread, and the same self defeating thoughts spinning in my head. I feel authentic when I greet people I don't know well (I used to feel like a phony), and I also feel like I have a much more genuine interest in other people. My depressive thoughts are down by probably 90% - I very rarely sit and ruminate over pointless little details (before I could sit and ruminate over something I had said to someone two weeks back, and evaluate back and forth what that person might think of me, and how this might affect my this and that later on etc). I don't dread the future anymore. I feel more involved with the things I enjoy and with people around me than I have done these past 15 years. It's like a black veil that has been hanging over me for so many years have just lifted. I've gone on like this for so many years because I've sort of accepted that it's been part of me and who I am, and not really thought it realistic that I could do something about it.
Now, I'm not saying this is all some miracle drug and I'll be living happily ever after. It's not like I'm walking on air here, but I'm feeling much more robust now than I have before. Stuff that used to upset me still upsets me, but not to the same extent that it used to. I got into a discussion with a colleague the other day, but instead of going straight into black mode (where I usually just become quiet and go "well, that's just your opinion" and go black with rage inside), I stated my point of view clearly and not over exaggerated or with anger, and got the support from lots of people around me (this with a loudmouth of a know-it-all colleague who is basically clueless), and for the first time in ages, it felt like I could say what I really think and feel about something, and I said it with conviction for a change, and people took notice! fudging A! That hasn't happened in a long while. And it's all these other things similar to this, situations where I stand more up for myself, or where I give that little bit extra because I have that little bit extra energy - and it's given life this little extra - I feel like I'm worth something for the first time in ages, like I'm making a tiny bit of difference to other people, and the people that don't like what I say - well, fudge them, I'm not gonna spend time ruminating over it.
Again, I know it's not some sort of miracle that will make me feel good forever, but it seems to have given me that slight extra barrier of defense, it's like I'm actually standing up for myself instead of beating myself down. And for the first time in probably 15 years I'm actually saying to myself, "I feel well", and I mean it. I look forward to things other than getting drunk watching Spurs (I look forward to that too, of course). That feeling of having that extra barrier of defense is really the key thing to me with this. It's like my brain is trying to help me instead of defeat me. I've been working with all kinds of cognitive therapy approaches, and they do help really well, but I've always had to fight real hard to keep it up, like I'm continously trying to convince myself that I'm not a bad person, even though deep down I've felt like a bad person, or something inside me has said, "sure, you're not bad ... but you know you are". This time that just feels different. There's a robustness added. I still feel quite anxious in social situations I don't like, but in a different way, I don't go on feeling bad about them after they're over, and I don't blame myself for feeling bad, and also, kind of just accept that I'm an introverted guy, and that I don't have to keep a conversation going for the sake of it. It's like I've switched out Gary Doc and Stuart Nethercott for Jan and Toby in my mental back four.
And yeah - not saying you should all go out getting doped up, but maybe not dismiss the medicinal route, if you haven't tried it. I had tried 3 other SSRI's before Cipralex, and none of them were good to me, but this one works. And it's made a world of difference.
Cheers for sharing your experience with Cipralex.
Just don't expect to walk anywhere.
