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Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

monkeybarry said:
Had a pretty atrocious five days.
My energy levels are completely sapped.
Been crying and feeling so anxious and shaking. Bit of the black dog returned (although plus side, it gave me a new appreciation for the Manic album This is my truth....)

Trigger was sharing how I feel (via a stupid meme on bloody Facebook!) about needing to be there for people constantly and sometimes I just need a few switch off days.
Girlfriend decided it was actually a personal attack on her need for daily contact and flips out.
bought me crashing down. Trying to build my energy back up.
It's a slow journey.
Click to expand...
Man, that's been a long few weeks.
Just about up to 70% energy now and, inevitably, single.
Established that emotionally we are really not compatible - she doesn't quite see it the same way. But when I have a depression episode and she takes it as a personal attack and when a family member has a stroke and her reaction to ask if we are still booking train tickets for Xmas (IE not asking how I am or anyone else).....I think that makes my mind up for me.

Time to rebuild my confidence. Focus on my interests and hopefully someone that will complement my life.

COYGG
(No football in random ;) )
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
I'm in gambia at the moment on holiday.

Makes you think when you see how poor some of these people are. Also makes you feel a little guilty as well. Mixture of emotions.
Click to expand...
Very true. I remember those feelings from Indonesia. Things we take for granted, like refrigeration and clean water.
 
monkeybarry said:
Man, that's been a long few weeks.
Just about up to 70% energy now and, inevitably, single.
Established that emotionally we are really not compatible - she doesn't quite see it the same way. But when I have a depression episode and she takes it as a personal attack and when a family member has a stroke and her reaction to ask if we are still booking train tickets for Xmas (IE not asking how I am or anyone else).....I think that makes my mind up for me.

Time to rebuild my confidence. Focus on my interests and hopefully someone that will complement my life.

COYGG
(No football in random ;) )
Click to expand...

Sounds like the right choice! Much kudos for daring to take it! A lot of people wouldn't have the guts! :) Onwards and upwards, mate - good luck in the time to come. :)
 
Daisuk said:
Sounds like the right choice! Much kudos for daring to take it! A lot of people wouldn't have the guts! :) Onwards and upwards, mate - good luck in the time to come. :)
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Thanks mate.
I'm still in two minds about it because we get on so naturally.
But I think life is about lessons, and I have just learned that emotional compatibility (probably along with morals/politics) are a deal breaker in relationships.
The "entertainment" stuff is irrelevant if the other bits don't click.

Also just found out one of my closest friends is moving to Europe for work for 6months. It's going to be an Interesting time for personal relationship development!
 
monkeybarry said:
Thanks mate.
I'm still in two minds about it because we get on so naturally.
But I think life is about lessons, and I have just learned that emotional compatibility (probably along with morals/politics) are a deal breaker in relationships.
The "entertainment" stuff is irrelevant if the other bits don't click.

Also just found out one of my closest friends is moving to Europe for work for 6months. It's going to be an Interesting time for personal relationship development!
Click to expand...
In case it helps anyone else who is struggling to be understood
https://themighty.com/2017/12/toxic...medium=Facebook&utm_campaign=Link_Contributor
 
monkeybarry said:
Man, that's been a long few weeks.
Just about up to 70% energy now and, inevitably, single.
Established that emotionally we are really not compatible - she doesn't quite see it the same way. But when I have a depression episode and she takes it as a personal attack and when a family member has a stroke and her reaction to ask if we are still booking train tickets for Xmas (IE not asking how I am or anyone else).....I think that makes my mind up for me.

Time to rebuild my confidence. Focus on my interests and hopefully someone that will complement my life.

COYGG
(No football in random ;) )
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear if fell that way mate, but it sounds like its for the best.

And it sounds like youre taking it as an opportunity, in itself a massive positive and one worth recognising. Well done, lets hope its the start of a really good period for you.
 
monkeybarry said:
Thanks mate.
I'm still in two minds about it because we get on so naturally.
But I think life is about lessons, and I have just learned that emotional compatibility (probably along with morals/politics) are a deal breaker in relationships.
The "entertainment" stuff is irrelevant if the other bits don't click.

Also just found out one of my closest friends is moving to Europe for work for 6months. It's going to be an Interesting time for personal relationship development!
Click to expand...

Absolutely. My brother in law has just gotten out of a three year long relationship with a woman he had a lot of fun with and she was good when their relationship was good, but as soon something was a bit difficult, she always blamed him and refused to communicate about it. Very destructive in the long run, no matter how good things are when they are good. Being able to communicate when everything isn't rosy is key to get a relationship working. Sounds to me like you did the right thing. :)
 
monkeybarry said:
Man, that's been a long few weeks.
Just about up to 70% energy now and, inevitably, single.
Established that emotionally we are really not compatible - she doesn't quite see it the same way. But when I have a depression episode and she takes it as a personal attack and when a family member has a stroke and her reaction to ask if we are still booking train tickets for Xmas (IE not asking how I am or anyone else).....I think that makes my mind up for me.

Time to rebuild my confidence. Focus on my interests and hopefully someone that will complement my life.

COYGG
(No football in random ;) )
Click to expand...

Good for you mate i know it could not have been a easy decision. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life, make sure its a good one.
 
@monkeybarry get yourself out to Gambia son. Some of these Gambian women have absolutely stunning arses. Some real beauties.

The is a Swedish mum and daughter that I'm looking at right now by the pool. Good GHod. Had to put the menu from the restaurant on my lap to hide my stiffy.

fudging love how women wear next to nothing on holiday. Except the odd Irish lady next to me who has put on an African dress. Don't know why she always buys this crap when we go away and don't know why I married her.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
I'm in gambia at the moment on holiday.

Makes you think when you see how poor some of these people are. Also makes you feel a little guilty as well. Mixture of emotions.
Click to expand...

How do you like it?

Take a taxi to the White Horse at Batukunku if you a chance.

Nice, secluded little hotel where you can have a coffee or a beer. There’s a small pool and you can have a lounger and chill.

You can have a massage there too.
 
Hotshot-Tottenham said:
How do you like it?
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mqdefault.jpg
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
@monkeybarry get yourself out to Gambia son. Some of these Gambian women have absolutely stunning arses. Some real beauties.

The is a Swedish mum and daughter that I'm looking at right now by the pool. Good GHod. Had to put the menu from the restaurant on my lap to hide my stiffy.

fudging love how women wear next to nothing on holiday. Except the odd Irish lady next to me who has put on an African dress. Don't know why she always buys this crap when we go away and don't know why I married her.
Click to expand...

haha laughed out loud at the last bit.
 
Back on 20mg citalopram since week ago. I’m hating side effects; feel nauseous, struggle to have a good night’s sleep, my concentration span, which was already not the best, has lowered, and feel spaced out. Really feel sick a lot of the time, though not actually vomiting. Really hope the symptoms start to decrease soon.
 
monkeybarry said:
Very true. I remember those feelings from Indonesia. Things we take for granted, like refrigeration and clean water.
Click to expand...

If you wake up on a morning not worrying about if you are going to eat today, where you are going to sleep or not in imminent threat of violence you are privileged.

Unfortunately, our brains have very little ability to make that distinction, problems are problems. Some people have significantly harder times dealing with it, my small realization is we all have demons in our heads, no matter what face we show the rest of the world, and maybe just understanding/realizing that can be helpful.
 
How is everyone doing at the moment?

I have some odd spells where I know I should not be doing things (like spending money) I get like these almost manic addictive spells where I cant stop doing things.

I am meant to be sleeping more because it is so important for your health. But I am reading books at night and cant put them down, even when the wife is shouting at me to. I was learning Italian recently, spending like 5 hours a day doing it(still crap) was the same with Chess, it is like I do something throw myself into it in an almost unhealthy manner and then regret it a little later.

Agreed to the wife to give her the bank cards for a while and I just have enough for each day, the garden centre was the worse, buying crap I would never use. Is odd because my whole life I have been so good with money, now I am hitting the cycling again.

I dont seem to be able to do anything by halfs at the moment, which might sound funny but is not. My support group is great because they really get it as some of gone through the same thing.

Is possible because I am meant to be saving for Gene therapy in China this time next year that I am trying to self sabotage myself. Is all very odd.

Anyway guys if your going through anything my advice as always is to get help and talk with people it helps.
 
I have been tracking my mood everyday in an app to give me a reference and perspectives when I feel bad.
Only had one real bad day I the last month.

A few meh days, including today. Im in Oslo and went for a long walk in the snow. Eventually my mind started lying to me - it's the first time I have truly understood that sometimes the mind lies.
I now recognise it and will learn how to manage and react to it differently. Today was the usual of feeling negative, worthless and (passively) suicidal.

It's always around the same two subjects too - "home" and relationships.
 
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