Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

[markysimmo]

I’m coming to the end of 2 weeks off work recovering from a minor op

I’ve defo felt a bit out if sorts the last few days (probably the pain killers and anaesthetic) not used to just moping around but see how easy it is to get into a bit of malaise

Can’t wait to get back to work Monday

 

[El Guepardo]

I’m coming to the end of 2 weeks off work recovering from a minor op

I’ve defo felt a bit out if sorts the last few days (probably the pain killers and anaesthetic) not used to just moping around but see how easy it is to get into a bit of malaise

Can’t wait to get back to work Monday

I hope that your op was a success and that you are recovering well. It can be hard to be stuck at home, with limits on what you can and can’t do, but try to make the most of the time if possible with reading/watching good films or other activities that you can enjoy. Keep your mind focused and you’ll get through it.
Take care

 

[markysimmo]

I hope that your op was a success and that you are recovering well. It can be hard to be stuck at home, with limits on what you can and can’t do, but try to make the most of the time if possible with reading/watching good films or other activities that you can enjoy. Keep your mind focused and you’ll get through it.
Take care

Yeh its gone well, just the usual post operative bruising and stiffness

I’ve actually got fed up of the tv as watched so much stuff the first 10 days, been reading more and listening to music today, been good

 

[Hotshot-Tottenham]

The free resources are interesting. Written by people who hear voices but are comfortable with it. From the perspective of someone who doesn't hear voices this kind of thing gives you an insight into what it might be like http://www.hearing-voices.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Hearing_Voices_Coping_Strategies_web.pdf

Posted this previously but its so impressive I have to post it again

This lady ^ is highly successful now. Had the pleasure of connecting with someone else from the network who is a voice hearer. She was completely together, erudite, intelligent, working in a senior position now. She hears voices. She is cool with it. Recovery is completely possible.

Is stigma a big barrier? For your misses and for you too? The medical model saw schizophrenia as something to be treated and medicated. When these people have had much more success with understanding and compassion than medication, and also discovering/building a confidence in themselves. That is not to say meds can't help. They can. But longer-term, this voice hearing acceptance and understanding seems like a more humane approach that works.

In this day and age, I think telling people socially you're a voice hearer is probably the way to go. Embrace it. So long as the individual is comfortable in themselves. People are fascinated. Many big budget films about mental health in the last 5 years...and more and more social understanding. But it is still a fascinating mystery to most people, so talking about it kills two birds.



Totally! And as a completely trusted partner, you're an extension of themself. So personal frustration, stigma etc is shared. Got to find comfortable ways to talk about it.

RD Lang, a drunk and a total maverick but he is still cited in textbooks today, said Schizophrenia was 'a sane reaction to an insane world'.

Coming back on your point about stigma: yes, there’s certainly an embarrassment factor for her which prevents her from socializing with her wider family.

But they’re not silly, it’s obvious that something’s wrong when we’ve not been to a party or wedding for over five years.

I’m less concerned about stigma. All my friends know and are very supportive. Likewise my parents and luckily my boss as I’ve had to take a couple of days here and there when she’s been really bad.

The main issue for her is that she has an audible verbal and visible physical response to the voice. It could just be a smile or a laugh or a small hand gesture (she currently presses her palms together like a prayer or greeting). Once others notice those tics it then becomes a very immediate issue, so many social situations where people we know are avoided.

That’s one part, the other is that the paranoia and delusions are still very much there when she’s stressed. The only tactics she / we currently have are avoidance. But it’s not a permanent solution.

 

[Hotshot-Tottenham]

Towards the end of his life, this was my Dad. Quiet responses out in public, laughing with them, telling them to leave him alone for a bit as we were having dinner. It prevented him from getting dental work done, and (in the end) cost him his life as he refused heart surgery when he needed it and subsequently died of a heart attack. He was convinced "they" would put implants in him for at least a decade.

Again, good luck and keep writing.

I meant to say - I’m sorry to hear about your Dad. That must have been terribly hard to deal with. The implant delusion very common - it’s one my wife had also.

And that’s half the difficulty - the illness defends itself so you’re trying to get treatment for someone who doesn’t want it, or at least part of them doesn’t.

 

[Hotshot-Tottenham]

I haven’t seen you around in a long time. I hope that everything is ok with you.

You are right that fifteen years ago, the forum was a different place, with different mentalities. I’m happy that the forum has evolved in to a supportive network for people who can come together and help each other. Back fifteen years ago anyone that stood out from the crowd could have been pilloried, there has been a change both in public perception and within the ‘walls’ of this forum to recognise mental health conditions and to ensure that people are not pushed apart. I think we should all realise what a great step that it’s been that we’ve all taken.

My thoughts are with you Hotshot as you continue to learn how to best support your wife. When you talk of betrayal, is this to suggest a jinx or curse? That question may be totally irrelevant only I have had discussions with a loved one and a friend on the subject of betrayal, and black magic, and the words struck a chord in that direction. As I said it’s likely nothing, and perhaps it’s just your wife looking to find answers to the difficulties that she is facing as she does not understand why she should be experiencing what she is.
I appreciate that you are doing all that you to get through this with your wife. I can understand that it may feel as if you are being pushed apart, but I am pleased that you are doing all that you can with her. It might be as well to give her time and just let her breathe and come to terms more with what is happening. At times she will feel that the battle is very self suffering but if you give her space but always there for support hopefully it can find you both moving in the same direction forward whilst you are not putting too much pressure on her in terms of her thinking processes. Much love to you both and I hope that you may both find a way through this.

Thanks man, it’s good of you to write. I know you’ve talked about your own experiences currently so you have a lot of capacity for empathy even during your own difficult time.

To answer your question about betrayal: yes, similar - she seems fixated on the idea of a conspiracy against her and her family, but also that it includes her family (and me), and that there’s a huge, hidden interconnected web of people and events that are aiming to ‘betray’ her.

So, not quite a curse as such and she’s never mentioned anything about black magic or that kind of thing but ultimately the result is similar in that there’s a paranoia / persecution theme.

She seems to recover from the arguments / discussions much quicker than me. She can seem to carry on as ‘normal’ within the same day when I’m left reeling in the wake for days afterward. I think it’s a coping mechanism that she’s developed and I’m not sure she’s entirely understood what separating would mean - she says she’d stay in the house and that her parents would buy me out (news to them, I’m sure) but without a job to run the house on a monthly basis it would just be impossible for her. It’s weird, we had a very open and honest conversation on Tuesday and now it’s like it never happened. She’s gone straight back to her routine.

Anyway, I hope you’re doing better mate. Keep posting in here yourself.

 

[Hotshot-Tottenham]

Thanks again for all the replies. I really appreciate it... please don’t think you’re obliged to keep replying and answering my posts above - I wanted to take the time to reply to the posts (that had questions) from last week that I didn’t get to but I don’t want this thread to become about me.

Thanks again guys.

 

[Danishfurniturelover]

I’m coming to the end of 2 weeks off work recovering from a minor op

I’ve defo felt a bit out if sorts the last few days (probably the pain killers and anaesthetic) not used to just moping around but see how easy it is to get into a bit of malaise

Can’t wait to get back to work Monday

Dont ever retire mate. I had a bit of luck and sold a locksmith business in the mid noughties and then made a bit on property deals. Kind of the worse thing to happen to me, I was listless for years.

My mother in law is in her late 70s but she is out everyday on different committees and something called u3a. She is so sharp mentally because of it.

I took on a part time semi retired job just for something to do and as long as my health allows I will continue.

A man has to have a reason to get out of bed each morning.

 

[Dicko]

Dont ever retire mate. I had a bit of luck and sold a locksmith business in the mid noughties and then made a bit on property deals. Kind of the worse thing to happen to me, I was listless for years.

My mother in law is in her late 70s but she is out everyday on different committees and something called u3a. She is so sharp mentally because of it.

I took on a part time semi retired job just for something to do and as long as my health allows I will continue.

A man has to have a reason to get out of bed each morning.

Whatever to the place you worked at before Chich? The one where you were a manager of logistics of something. I remember you always had some good stories about trying to manage the fellas there. Did you just have enough of the stress of managing and want an easier life!?

 

[parklane1]

Dont ever retire mate. I had a bit of luck and sold a locksmith business in the mid noughties and then made a bit on property deals. Kind of the worse thing to happen to me, I was listless for years.

My mother in law is in her late 70s but she is out everyday on different committees and something called u3a. She is so sharp mentally because of it.

I took on a part time semi retired job just for something to do and as long as my health allows I will continue.

A man has to have a reason to get out of bed each morning.

Agree with this 100%, i have to keep busy otherwise i am no use to man or beast.

 

[Danishfurniturelover]

Whatever to the place you worked at before Chich? The one where you were a manager of logistics of something. I remember you always had some good stories about trying to manage the fellas there. Did you just have enough of the stress of managing and want an easier life!?

It was a 18 month contract, funny thing i started just driving. I tended to do jobs in different industries as I liked to move on. Started out for years on the building sites which was great before going into locksmith. I actually left logistics to set up a micro brewery with a friend that went awfully wrong.

Now circumstances have changed Im quite happy working at B&Q but honestly would encourage people to change careers completely at least a few times in there lives.

I would actually with the benefit of hindsight liked to have been a garden designer. We visit a lot of gardens and I really enjoy it, been to Rosemoor and Wisley this year.

 

[Rorschach]

It was a 18 month contract, funny thing i started just driving. I tended to do jobs in different industries as I liked to move on. Started out for years on the building sites which was great before going into locksmith. I actually left logistics to set up a micro brewery with a friend that went awfully wrong.

Now circumstances have changed Im quite happy working at B&Q but honestly would encourage people to change careers completely at least a few times in there lives.

I would actually with the benefit of hindsight liked to have been a garden designer. We visit a lot of gardens and I really enjoy it, been to Rosemoor and Wisley this year.

I echo the changing careers point. It is a hard and rather scary decision to make obviously, and of course, it has financial considerations too. Having done it a few times I would say it is mind and life-expanding. Life isn't always about comfort. Sometimes it is about stretching your limits.

The microbrewery must have a good back story. Share?

 

[Danishfurniturelover]

I echo the changing careers point. It is a hard and rather scary decision to make obviously, and of course, it has financial considerations too. Having done it a few times I would say it is mind and life-expanding. Life isn't always about comfort. Sometimes it is about stretching your limits.

The microbrewery must have a good back story. Share?

Not really, we just were not very good at it. Think it is quite a crowded market unless you invest a lot, particularly marketing.

Few of the wifes friends sell food they make at the artisan market on a saturday that goes round different towns locally, I often belittle them but as she says, I was attempting the same thing.

I am enjoying working with wood when I get the chance, built a shuffle board in the garage, not as good as professionals but it was a little project to keep me occupied for a bit.

 

[thfcsteff]

I meant to say - I’m sorry to hear about your Dad. That must have been terribly hard to deal with. The implant delusion very common - it’s one my wife had also.

And that’s half the difficulty - the illness defends itself so you’re trying to get treatment for someone who doesn’t want it, or at least part of them doesn’t.

Thanks mate.
Yes, it took a long time to wrap my head around the fact that there would be times his life was not in my universe, often within a minute over dinner. I chose to treat every time we spent time together as a clean slate, and did not think of him as my "Dad" in the traditional sense of memories and chit-chat; that would've frustrated us both. He was a writer and artist, so had creative outlets, but was very isolated. Still, he enjoyed his life on his terms; we looked to move to him to a home and it was like putting holy water on a vampire. So we decided that as long as he could function happily and not cause anyone harm, then let him do his thing. Which he did. Until he didn't :-(

 

[Danishfurniturelover]

I find it very hard to tell when it is my illness that is causing my rage or the fact that everyone else in the world is a cnut.

Came back from a long cycle ride, coming across pelican crossing and car is not slowing down for me, so i carry on and think fcuk it do your worse. Guys slams on his breaks and shouts at me. I got so angry i pushed the passenger side window cracking it. Offered the guy out but like all bullies he pussied out.

Now some might say this is disproportionate behaviour. I just thoughtthe guy was a cnut and was channeling my inner walter white.

The wife says i need to learn to learn to walk away. Were in London Wednesday for a carol concert at St. Martin's then dinner with friends. Says she is worried how i will behave if the are protesters about. Honestly if they dont bother me i wont bother them. But way i feel know if one person male or female young or old screams in my face or pushes me i will take my belt off and fcuking strangle them.

 

[SpurMeUp]

I find it very hard to tell when it is my illness that is causing my rage or the fact that everyone else in the world is a cnut.

Came back from a long cycle ride, coming across pelican crossing and car is not slowing down for me, so i carry on and think fcuk it do your worse. Guys slams on his breaks and shouts at me. I got so angry i pushed the passenger side window cracking it. Offered the guy out but like all bullies he pussied out.

Now some might say this is disproportionate behaviour. I just thoughtthe guy was a cnut and was channeling my inner walter white.

The wife says i need to learn to learn to walk away. Were in London Wednesday for a carol concert at St. Martin's then dinner with friends. Says she is worried how i will behave if the are protesters about. Honestly if they dont bother me i wont bother them. But way i feel know if one person male or female young or old screams in my face or pushes me i will take my belt off and fcuking strangle them.

I get like that on a bike. Have to step away from road rage, but sometimes the clams deserve it, and its fun to give it out. So big deal. Are you angry at having this condition? You have my deepest sympathy (may not want it!). Funny thing to have hanging over you. Massively impressed with how you just take it on the chin. But behind the strength, it might be weighing on you? I don't know about the medical side of it, but you seem like your normal passionate self.

 

[Danishfurniturelover]

I get like that on a bike. Have to step away from road rage, but sometimes the clams deserve it, and its fun to give it out. So big deal. Are you angry at having this condition? You have my deepest sympathy (may not want it!). Funny thing to have hanging over you. Massively impressed with how you just take it on the chin. But behind the strength, it might be weighing on you? I don't know about the medical side of it, but you seem like your normal passionate self.

Makes me a little angry, but apart from mood swings and a little weakness in my left side i seem to be pretty lucky so far.

It might be nerves about this China trip in January when i go for stem cell therapy.

Honestly it is weird but sometimes i go in a field near the back of the house and just scream. I do feel better after it.

 

[SpurMeUp]

Makes me a little angry, but apart from mood swings and a little weakness in my left side i seem to be pretty lucky so far.

It might be nerves about this China trip in January when i go for stem cell therapy.

Honestly it is weird but sometimes i go in a field near the back of the house and just scream. I do feel better after it.

As long as you're not doing a Terresa M and running through the field - all good Its a lot of pressure on you. Be gentle with yourself. All in all terrific that you're more or less the same kinky fuker you've always been!

 

[markysimmo]

I'm defo feeling a bit under-appreciated at home at the moment
I provide for the family, work my nuts off for them but am not getting too much back currently, feel a bit taken for granted really

 

[Bullet]

Came back from a long cycle ride, coming across pelican crossing and car is not slowing down

Were you cycling or riding your bike? You can ride across a Toucan crossing but not a Pelican crossing. Don't get me started on Puffins and Pegasuseseses...
https://www.driving-school-beckenham.co.uk/pedestriancrossings.html


I do find that sometimes I'm driving along at 30mph and five pedestrians are walking straight along the pavement... one of the five will abruptly turn 90 degrees and walk out within 1 second, expecting me to realise and stop within 1 second. As a driver you can't assume all pedestrians may or may not abruptly turn, they should look around and make it obvious they are about to cross and give you a second to react.

Also, as a driver, if I am the only car for 100 yards, don't press the button or step out and expect me to slam my brakes on, just wait 3 seconds and then walk across in the 100 yards of free space behind me.