Women!

[Raoul Duke]

If your girlfriend is jealous of and/or trying to get between you and your daughter I'd dump her in a heartbeat tbh.
It will only lead to worse situations in the future, especially if you're going to marry her.

btw, here's a good piece on marriage

[video=youtube;9GXPd0fnpKw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GXPd0fnpKw[/video]

 

[Nigeyman]

ah feck you guys.......please excuse this message i am very drunk and can barely type......................

I am in a world of sh*T like ive just got in after a drinking session and she just had a right fo at me. my stealth attempt at getting in the house at 4:30am failed beautifully............

had varoious points in the night of reckleckness...thats how i feel at the mo reckless...like a lost soul in the wilderness.....so i have a girl chatting to me outside a bar and im a nanosecond away from i dunno just all out blowing everything to smithereens......nothing happens....she asks me if I have a gf and she sees right through the subterfuge............

ah the trainwreck that is my life continues....im with a woman that changes from the sublime to the respulsive.

if only I was a able to make the right deciscions......i dunno if only I wasnt a poor excuse for a human being....I can give anyone amazing relationship advice but fail dismally when it comes to my own circumstances......

'girls like that suck the life out of you' I get that thats how I feel sometimes... like Im half of what I could/should be.....then I think of everything me and my woman have been through everything we have lived together all the highs and lows the joys and sorrows of life....all the struggles just to keep our heads above water.....

to me life is about being responsible...setting my daughter an example to follow a blueprint of good to aspire to.....to be a good and loving partner to give the woman i have shared most of my young life with everything she deserves and dreams of.....

its the fear of failure that drives me on....being a poor dad being a rubbish partner.....it conflicts with some of my natural instincts....

I think she was pathetic...I told her so....it doesnt excuse the recklessness that I revel in.

I feel like I can help everyone in life but myself....I am scared to marry to commit I doubt it after how she reacts but I also doubt taking the wrong path and constantly looking back and doubting the way I have chosen....its pathetic really...at 32 I should be assured and know what I want and make it happen....yet I sit here writing crap in a drunken state not knowing what to do for the best for everyone concerned.

this is probably the most pathetic thing i will ever type on this forum....mark it and note it as my shame.......

its sometimes far easier to open yourself up to I dunno no one in particular.......of course I will recover from this drunken state maybe recover from this web of uncertainty..........basically my this is one thing to many and I feel shaken like now I feel i have to make the most important choices in the future,,,to choose between what is right and what is easy.....its not good I need a feckin life coach.

I aspire to do the right things and be a man my parents can be proud of but inevetibly I f**k up....perhaps that is why I am a perfect fit to support spurs.

I apologise you guys this really is pathetic on my part....but if my insane ramblings can help but one person not act like a complete feckin macaron then so be it.....

peace!

 

[Kingdawson]

How did you **** up? mate sober up and understand you're not in the wrong.

You can tell from your posting style that you're a nice guy, a passive person, but there's a limit. Well played on letting your girlfriend know that she's completely in the wrong.

 

[Hootnow]

Mate, firstly alcohol isn't the solution to this, if you're going into these conversations drunk, you're going to say things you will only regret later.

This is a very difficult situation. You should NEVER have to think twice about doing something for your daughter. And you should NEVER have to justify doing something nice for your daughter. As others have said, this is a very important thing in your life and an issue you cannot leave to fester, it has to be sorted out now one way or the other. If you're going to spend the rest of your life with this woman, there cannot be tension on this issue. It will only get worse.

However, this has been your partner for a while now. It isn't a fling you can just discard. There is clearly something very important for you there too if you've been together this long and are planning your wedding. You need to sit down and have a (sober) conversation with her, explain to her that she is very important but that your daughter is as well and that you should be able to do nice things for your daughter without feeling guilty or having trouble with her afterwards. You shouldn't have to feel like yolul have to sneak around/ feel guilty for trying to be nice for your daughter, especially when I'm guessing she doesn't live with you.


This thread is making me incredibly glad my wife doesn't care for V day etc

 

[El Guepardo]

Also why not ask your fiancée whether she prefers surprises or if she likes to be told when you will do things for her. If she likes surprises, then say that that's why you didn't say anything. They are each important to you and you wanted to make them both feel special.

If she harps on from there then I certainly wouldn't apologise. It's her problem, not your's. You have acted right and maybe she needs to be put in a position where she realises this. If she's so stubborn that she doesn't change, then it's allowed you to realise this other side of her before you go ahead and get married to her.

 

[spitshine]

Having read this, you've done nothing wrong whatsoever. I think it's worth going through the mill now so she knows where you stand and that your daughter will always be in your life. I don't know what your partners relationship is with your daughter, but be careful that the jealousy may continue and try and push your daughter further away. The upshot being your daughter may feel isolated and unloved as time goes on. This is a deal breaker, don't compromise on this issue even if she gives you hell now.

 

[Lily White]

Even though I'm talking as an irrational spastic (thanks marky et el) I thought perhaps I should answer as being from the female persuasion you could get a decent selection of responses.
If your girlfriend as a grown woman feels the need to compete with a child then she seriously needs to grow up. You have every right to buy gifts for your daughter whenever you like. Your daughter is a part of who you are, you created her and nothing can change that. If your girlfriend wants to marry you then she has to except that your daughter is part of the package, it isn't your gf or daughter but it has to be together.
Don't try and seek answers in the bottom of a bottle because that helps no-one. If its possible a bit of time out would maybe make both think things through before going through the big commitment of marriage.

 

[Kingdawson]

Even though I'm talking as an irrational spastic (thanks marky et el) I thought perhaps I should answer as being from the female persuasion you could get a decent selection of responses.
If your girlfriend as a grown woman feels the need to compete with a child then she seriously needs to grow up. You have every right to buy gifts for your daughter whenever you like. Your daughter is a part of who you are, you created her and nothing can change that. If your girlfriend wants to marry you then she has to except that your daughter is part of the package, it isn't your gf or daughter but it has to be together.
Don't try and seek answers in the bottom of a bottle because that helps no-one. If its possible a bit of time out would maybe make both think things through before going through the big commitment of marriage.

pics?

 

[monkeybarry]

She thought she was special.

But you gave someone else the same which made it less special.

Next time.. make sure the women in your life trumps the daughter from a previous relationship. Just send a card next time to the daughter.

People talk about alpha males and alpha females, she feels she should be the alpha female. Which to be honest she should be, but you have placed her on the same level, which in your head there is no level as you love each the same, but to her there is levels.

Simples. :lol:

Regarding the bet.. next time set the criterias before game action

Jeez. I hope I'm never part of your family.
Family should never be that disposable.

Both his daughter and his gf are part of his CURRENT life and relationship.

 

[monkeybarry]

Into the second page and no one has said "kick her in the sponge", this place has changed.

\o/\o/\o/

 

[monkeybarry]

How did you **** up? mate sober up and understand you're not in the wrong.

You can tell from your posting style that you're a nice guy, a passive person, but there's a limit. Well played on letting your girlfriend know that she's completely in the wrong.

Nigey, you are probably hung over to **** today, so don't confront this today.
Calmly agree to talk about it tomorrow night.

If you've been together 9 years and this is only just coming up, it could be something else triggering it.
Or could just be a phase she is going through. Everyone is a dingdong sometimes, that's life.

 

[Daisuk]

If you've been together 9 years and this is only just coming up, it could be something else triggering it.
Or could just be a phase she is going through. Everyone is a dingdong sometimes, that's life.

Definitely. I'm no expert, but it seems very strange if this thing doesn't have some deeper underlying issues at the core. If you can talk to your girlfriend and figure out what that uncertainty is, I'm sure you could work it out. That's one thing I've learned from my relationship, whenever things are a bit bumpy, there's really nothing a really long and good talk can't sort out. "What exactly about me giving flowers to my daughter bothers you?", "why do you feel like you are competing with my daughter?" etc.

 

[DTA]

Even though I'm talking as an irrational spastic (thanks marky et el) I thought perhaps I should answer as being from the female persuasion you could get a decent selection of responses.
If your girlfriend as a grown woman feels the need to compete with a child then she seriously needs to grow up. You have every right to buy gifts for your daughter whenever you like. Your daughter is a part of who you are, you created her and nothing can change that. If your girlfriend wants to marry you then she has to except that your daughter is part of the package, it isn't your gf or daughter but it has to be together.

Don't try and seek answers in the bottom of a bottle because that helps no-one. If its possible a bit of time out would maybe make both think things through before going through the big commitment of marriage.

Good post.

 

[Nigeyman]

yup monging out watching everton v swans.....feel like trash today lol....

without this becoming a running commentary on my life I would just like to thank you guys for some of the advice received....

no doubts I have some stuff to sort out with her......and I will.....marriage is something I only want to do once or not at all if things arent right.

goddam stomach feels like a washing machine on full spin...... no doubt I will take a day & a half to get over this....I wish I could rewind the clock to back when it took me no time at all to recover from a few drinks...

thanks once again people......im on it...but not today

 

[stinkfoot]

Mate, firstly alcohol isn't the solution to this, if you're going into these conversations drunk, you're going to say things you will only regret later.

This is a very difficult situation. You should NEVER have to think twice about doing something for your daughter. And you should NEVER have to justify doing something nice for your daughter. As others have said, this is a very important thing in your life and an issue you cannot leave to fester, it has to be sorted out now one way or the other. If you're going to spend the rest of your life with this woman, there cannot be tension on this issue. It will only get worse.

However, this has been your partner for a while now. It isn't a fling you can just discard. There is clearly something very important for you there too if you've been together this long and are planning your wedding. You need to sit down and have a (sober) conversation with her, explain to her that she is very important but that your daughter is as well and that you should be able to do nice things for your daughter without feeling guilty or having trouble with her afterwards. You shouldn't have to feel like yolul have to sneak around/ feel guilty for trying to be nice for your daughter, especially when I'm guessing she doesn't live with you.


This thread is making me incredibly glad my wife doesn't care for V day etc

Great post Hootnow. =D>

 

[Lily White]

pics?

 

[Bullet]

Woah, just found this crazy thread. As most others have said, you did nothing wrong and your gf needs to grow up, unless there is something else you didn't tell us!

There must be something else, women are irrational but not crazy like this. Perhaps she is really freaking out about the wedding and trying to sabotage it, just picking on any small thing?

 

[Kingdawson]

View attachment 1848

As beautiful as i envisioned.

 

[Jordinho]

 

[Superhudd]

Jeez. I hope I'm never part of your family.
Family should never be that disposable.

Both his daughter and his gf are part of his CURRENT life and relationship.

LOL I forgot to add the context.. I assumed as we were discussing Valentines then people would understand that was written in the context of Valentines Day. ](*,)