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Women!

ricky2tricky4city said:
'Weird' ?:ross: I used to think that sometimes people need to get more, but even those who are stuck in have the internet and superhudds 'revelations' wouldn't even register on the web-weirdometer.
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An open relationship with your wife where you're allowed to have other sexual partners is not in the least bit weird to you. Ok.
 
diego_maradona said:
Nigey, step back from it all. Think about your relationship with your gf on the whole. When things are good how does she make you feel? When was the last time you felt overwhelmed by how much you care for her? Is it possible to be that happy again with her? Answer some of these questions truthfully, find out if the relationship is worth it first of all.

Has she treated your daughter well? Ever given you a reason to worry about leaving your daughter with her? Does your daughter like her?

Once you know the relationships worthwhile then it's all about understanding. As cliche as it sounds you can only solve things through talking and understanding. It sounds easy but is often the hardest thing to do, to speak rationally to one another as adults without resorting to flying off the handle.

The important question you need answered is WHY she would be unhappy at such a nice thought for your daughter.

Nothing you've posted here makes you sound unreasonable. But you need to get to the bottom of her insecurities or establish whether you've done anything else wrong.

If your truly not happy, then perhaps it's best to call it a day even though that might seem the harder thing to do right now. Just be brutally honest with yourself.
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Hear, hear!
 
Kingdawson said:
An open relationship with your wife where you're allowed to have other sexual partners is not in the least bit weird to you. Ok.
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If you're a missionary only, mondeo driving, 2.4 kids, magnolia walls and some timber decking type of person then i suppose that Superhudd's arrangements are a bit 'weird'.

Many people are not that type of person. Furthermore, if all parties are ok with the situation then that can be positive for their relationship. Life does take all sorts.

eg Chich would probably think this behaviour is quite timid.

Anyway, how you getting on Nigey. Are things smoothing over or do you really need to have 'that' chat?
 
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ricky2tricky4city said:
If you're a missionary only, mondeo driving, 2.4 kids, magnolia walls and some timber decking type of person then i suppose that Superhudd's arrangements are a bit 'weird'.

Many people are not that type of person. Furthermore, if all parties are ok with the situation then that can be positive for their relationship. Life does take all sorts.

eg Chich would probably think this behaviour is quite timid.

Anyway, how you getting on Nigey. Are things smoothing over or do you really need to have 'that' chat?
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ah back from the wilderness!

its all on again we have worked through our differences!...the wedding is on...full steam ahead!
 
Charliedup said:
Not sure I'd be quite so quick to forgive that particular outburst
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I agree. In battles like these the outcome can be very crucial in regards to further upper hand in the relationship. If you end up being sorry for causing a stir you didn't cause, you're in a world of sh!t. Every relationship has a leader, but shifts in power do occur and you've just had an election. How many seats did you get?
 
f knows why she acted like that???? I have still been getting a few pelters from her parents about how i treated their little girl!!!, the refuse to belive she would be jealous of my little girl.

Well I made my thoughts clear to her and I have resolved to move on...nine years is a long time to just throw away......

thats not to say the rage has totally gone, yet im on a rapid heading to the waterfall I guess.... the main thing is I do Love her still and want to make her happy...i just dont know why she made me feel so bad when I was just trying to show those two are the special in my life.....oh well.
 
Nigeyman said:
f knows why she acted like that???? I have still been getting a few pelters from her parents about how i treated their little girl!!!, the refuse to belive she would be jealous of my little girl.

Well I made my thoughts clear to her and I have resolved to move on...nine years is a long time to just throw away......

thats not to say the rage has totally gone, yet im on a rapid heading to the waterfall I guess.... the main thing is I do Love her still and want to make her happy...i just dont know why she made me feel so bad when I was just trying to show those two are the special in my life.....oh well.
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I may be speaking out of turn here - but it actually seems nothing has been resolved. There is a fundamental underlying issue and if THAT is not resolved then this just appears to be brushed under the carpet and potentially there is a a greater likelihood that this issue may arise again. Anyways you know better than I do with your situation of course.
 
DHSF said:
I may be speaking out of turn here - but it actually seems nothing has been resolved. There is a fundamental underlying issue and if THAT is not resolved then this just appears to be brushed under the carpet and potentially there is a a greater likelihood that this issue may arise again. Anyways you know better than I do with your situation of course.
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perhaps your right...usually i bottle things up....but i dont feel bad this time because I told her how I felt!! She appologised and then I did for my outburst.

As for the issue rising again? All women feel insecure every day dont they? 'you were looking at her' 'you think she looks nice' there are many pitfalls to fall into.

Maybe Im just a big coward who has a comfortable life but doesnt want to rock the boat, I do love her, I have shared nine years of highs and lows with this person...she can act like a kn-ob at times and so can I... Its the age old question...do you roll the dice??? if im at a 4 do I roll? could get a six could go all the way down to one.
 
Nigeyman said:
perhaps your right...usually i bottle things up....but i dont feel bad this time because I told her how I felt!! She appologised and then I did for my outburst.

As for the issue rising again? All women feel insecure every day dont they? 'you were looking at her' 'you think she looks nice' there are many pitfalls to fall into.

Maybe Im just a big coward who has a comfortable life but doesnt want to rock the boat, I do love her, I have shared nine years of highs and lows with this person...she can act like a kn-ob at times and so can I... Its the age old question...do you roll the dice??? if im at a 4 do I roll? could get a six could go all the way down to one.
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This is the crux of it, cannot believe so many guys on here said to fcuk her off over what was IMO a flippant reaction. Clear as day this thread shows that many men simply do not get women.

Nice one for getting yourself's sorted.
 
Superhudd said:
This is the crux of it, cannot believe so many guys on here said to fcuk her off over what was IMO a flippant reaction. Clear as day this thread shows that many men simply do not get women.

Nice one for getting yourself's sorted.
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I think what was meant by others, I included, is not that she was insecure (we all know women are competitive and insecure etc) but the REASON for this argument. His daughter for ****s sakes, not like Nigey was going out with a co-worker or chatting to a female on his phone daily - It was his daughter. Competing against your other halfs daughter is a little strange or rather - melodramatic. Thats all.

Im happy for Nigey for 'sorting' this out...
 
But her reaction didn't warrant the calls to f_uck her off. Women overreact to the dumbest things. Like what happened here. As I said in an earlier post, I bet once she did it she regretted it, but from then it was all about saving face. I also don't believe for one moment that she is jealous either. As said her reaction was compulsive and selfish, not vindictive or malicious on lets be honest, on a night when female hormones are flying about.
 
Superhudd said:
But her reaction didn't warrant the calls to f_uck her off. Women overreact to the dumbest things. Like what happened here. As I said in an earlier post, I bet once she did it she regretted it, but from then it was all about saving face. I also don't believe for one moment that she is jealous either. As said her reaction was compulsive and selfish, not vindictive or malicious on lets be honest, on a night when female hormones are flying about.
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Totally agree mate and I also agree that it was unwarranted to just 'dump' her as I dont see that as the mature thing to do. Im not really good at relationships so my advice would be what I would do not what I would have done as theyre generally two different things when it comes to me.

I dont think she is jealous but maybe perhaps threatened or Nigeys daughter is a constant reminder of his ex and she doesnt like that.
 
Superhudd said:
This is the crux of it, cannot believe so many guys on here said to fcuk her off over what was IMO a flippant reaction. Clear as day this thread shows that many men simply do not get women.

Nice one for getting yourself's sorted.
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I 'get' women, I just don't like them very much. Largely for reasons outlined in this thread. Before people accuse me of being a misogynist, I'm a misanthrope. Don't have much faith in either gender.
 
Nigeyman said:
Its the age old question...do you roll the dice??? if im at a 4 do I roll? could get a six could go all the way down to one.
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I'm sorry if I speak out of turn and feel free to tell me to go f myself but the above comment would set alarm bells ringing if one of my mates said it to me down the pub. I'm not going to comment on whether she was right or wrong in what she did cos there's probably a lot more to it than any of us know but if you're about to commit your life to someone you're only putting at a 4 out of 6 then that would worry me somewhat

Like I said, I'm just a faceless guy on the internet who knows nothing whatsoever about you or your relationship so feel free to tell me to butt out
 
treepits said:
I'm sorry if I speak out of turn and feel free to tell me to go f myself but the above comment would set alarm bells ringing if one of my mates said it to me down the pub. I'm not going to comment on whether she was right or wrong in what she did cos there's probably a lot more to it than any of us know but if you're about to commit your life to someone you're only putting at a 4 out of 6 then that would worry me somewhat

Like I said, I'm just a faceless guy on the internet who knows nothing whatsoever about you or your relationship so feel free to tell me to butt out
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life could be better for myself but sometimes I do myself no favours! who out there reckon they have the perfect partner?

not going to tell you to butt out...I totally get your point, I just think things will get better if I work hard at it as well, I have told her though I wont accept her being like that again...we shall see...it got to the point where she knew I wasnt going to back down that she finally showed some remorse. Im also a faceless guy on the interblog...

nice to meet you.;)
 
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