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The poo & guff thread...

Been blessed with a silent bowel for a long time now, Thailand and Japan have been good to me. As my friend tried to explain his japanese girlfriend about diarrhea, he called it long-time-brick-problem, hopefully this is now an accepted term to use, I'm not going to say anything else from now on.
 
cant believe im posting in here but ive been bricking ALOT lately, just last thursday i done 5 'full' bricks in the day
 
Definitely an appropriate question...


I had a dump this afternoon and it was an easy brick. Slide out. Flushed,hands washed etc etc. Go back for a tinkle an hour later,1 chunk is still bobbing. Bog roll on it,tinkle,flush.

Lift the lid for a tinkle about 90 mins later,still there. Water deteriorating. I fudging despise that. To be fair its a monster,looks like half a chocolate swiss roll. Bog roll,tinkle,flush.

I am yet to go back in. How do you get rid of that "brick" without a bog brush? I will never use one in my own home because it disintegrates the brick leaving said brush coated in log.

I have tried extra andrex hoping it catches hold of the turd midflush but it's a stubborn motherfudger. Is it just a case of keep flushing or is there a trick to get rid? It might be gone now but if it isn't i need tips.
 
WV1YID80 said:
Definitely an appropriate question...


I had a dump this afternoon and it was an easy brick. Slide out. Flushed,hands washed etc etc. Go back for a tinkle an hour later,1 chunk is still bobbing. Bog roll on it,tinkle,flush.

Lift the lid for a tinkle about 90 mins later,still there. Water deteriorating. I fudging despise that. To be fair its a monster,looks like half a chocolate swiss roll. Bog roll,tinkle,flush.

I am yet to go back in. How do you get rid of that "brick" without a bog brush? I will never use one in my own home because it disintegrates the brick leaving said brush coated in log.

I have tried extra andrex hoping it catches hold of the turd midflush but it's a stubborn motherfudger. Is it just a case of keep flushing or is there a trick to get rid? It might be gone now but if it isn't i need tips.
Click to expand...


if you don't want to get poo on the toilet brush (understandable from a hygiene point of view) pick it up, crumble it into little pieces between your hands, disperse poo crumbles back in toilet, wash your hands BEFORE flushing (that word "hygiene" again!) and THEN flush...

I'm here for further advice between 9-6 every weekday. I thank you.
 
thfcsteff said:
if you don't want to get poo on the toilet brush (understandable from a hygiene point of view) pick it up, crumble it into little pieces between your hands, disperse poo crumbles back in toilet, wash your hands BEFORE flushing (that word "hygiene" again!) and THEN flush...

I'm here for further advice between 9-6 every weekday. I thank you.
Click to expand...

But how do you turn the tap on? You can't run it "just in case" due to the drought. What should we do?
 
Charliedup said:
But how do you turn the tap on? You can't run it "just in case" due to the drought. What should we do?
Click to expand...

(sigh)...you have to use your hands to turn the tap on. Turn tap on, wash hands, then wash tap with soapy warm water, then wash hands again and then press flush, safe in the knowledge that during the entire interaction you have been as hygienic as possible...
 
thfcsteff said:
(sigh)...you have to use your hands to turn the tap on. Turn tap on, wash hands, then wash tap with soapy warm water, then wash hands again and then press flush, safe in the knowledge that during the entire interaction you have been as hygienic as possible...
Click to expand...

Thanks. I was getting worried I would have crusty tap handles. The situation has been saved thanks to your timely intervention
 
Well yesterday was momentous. I had banned substances in the morning (Bread, milk and sultana bran) which led to 4 normal bricks and two bouts of diarrhoea last night. Couple with cramps. IBS anyone?
 
UPDATE:

for those of us who are old/classy enough to have enjoyed the Derek & Clive classic "I Love You So Much (I can't brick)" I have just cracked off three farts which sounded IDENTICAL in tenor, pitch and length to the fart/poo sound at the end of said-classic. They hum as well. Crumbs! Face-towel necessary...
 
BTW Marky, what the hell are you up to these days that you're too busy to revive this thread once in a while! I remember they days when you owned it, stalking the earth with the sort of noxious nasal tales which made grown men cry. COME ON MAN!
 
thfcsteff said:
BTW Marky, what the hell are you up to these days that you're too busy to revive this thread once in a while! I remember they days when you owned it, stalking the earth with the sort of noxious nasal tales which made grown men cry. COME ON MAN!
Click to expand...

Hahaha, work is different for me now, really dont get as much time to come on here especially during the day..

My farts are still epic I must say
 
Mine have been a real let down lately. I was a regular a dump a day person but the last two weeks i've hardly been eating and so now i've become a two dayer. My farts are non existent too. Such a waste.
 
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