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Ingerlund

This game is bubbling on a red hot electric knife point of death Brian.

Literally anything could happen. There might be a goal and stuff.

Time to bring on Moussa Dembele and Jeff Daniels.

That little twit Raheem Sterling is squaring up to humans suggesting he wants a fight, he would get battered in a fight with a 12 year old
 
Rayne Wooney has been on fire tonight, he really is worth £300k per week at least. Incredible firepower.

This game is going to fizzle along until Scotland get a freekick and fight the ball into the net.
 
BBC said:
John Stones goes for a wander into the Scottish half, he runs into a man in pink, Adam Lallana picks it up and spreads it out wide, where Raheem Sterling then runs headlong into an opponent.

Forrest Gump football.
Click to expand...
:D
 
Harry Redknapp's hilarious tales
  • Harry Redknapp has a new book out: 'It Shouldn't Happen To A Manager'

There were reports Neil Ruddock had been in a fight with Mike Newell at Gleneagles golf club. The issue was that he was supposed to be ill, or having treatment, and not playing golf before going out drinking.

So I fined him a fortnight's wages. I thought that would be straight forward enough but he appealed and we all ended up having to go to an FA tribunal.

Razor turned up with some Australian barrister, who looked like a film star and was the cleverest boy I've ever met. Within minutes, he had us tied up in knots.

It was embarrassing. Razor won the case and the club was forced to reimburse him.

Then the barrister turned to Dave Richards, who was chairman of the Premier League and on the FA's board and said: 'Thank you Mr Richards, I'm afraid I don't come cheap' and he handed over a bill for £30,000 to Dave Richards, who said: 'This is not a court of law, we don't cover costs.'

Razor's face was a picture. He had to pay, and his barrister was charging him more than the fine, £30,000 instead of £20,000 fine. Unlucky, Razor.



Pompey's pre-match prayers

We had a few religious players and they'd go to what they called their prayer room shortly before kick-off at Fratton Park. It was actually Kev, the kit-man's room.

The tumble dryers would be going and it could get smelly and hot. Before one game, there were 17 of them in there, like sardines.

As I was handed the Man United team-sheet I turned to Joe Jordan and said: 'Where's everybody gone?'

He said: 'They're all in Kev's kit-room saying their prayers.' I looked at the team-sheet.

It said Scholes, Ferdinand, Ronaldo, Rooney, Giggs. I said: 'I think I'd better join them.'


Selling Benjani to Emirates Marketing Project

The money was also too good to turn down. His work-rate was incredible but he was liable to put a few balls down the M27 when he was finishing.

We told Benji about the interest from City and he was unimpressed. 'I like it here, boss, I'm happy,' he said. We were: 'No, no. You should go. Manchester, big club, big chance. You'll love it.'

We had to pretty much shove him out of the door. When he got to the airport he didn't get on the plane. One plane went, then another.

I rang him and said: 'Benji, what're you doing?' He got on the last plane and we completed the deal one minute before the window closed.

They loved him at City as well. He was a great lad. But £9.5million! Only Sven could have paid that much for him.


Driving over Sandra's foot

She was banging on to me about going up the shops all day, eventually I caved in and said I'd give her a lift

So I've driven her up towards Debenham's but you can't stop there no more, there's cameras and wardens everywhere so I've stopped early and said "out you hop Sandra"

She wasn't keen to walk up the hill but I've said there's all sorts of cameras and signs so eventually she's copped on and legged it.

Next thing you know I've driven right over her ankle and smashed it, I just couldn't believe it

I phoned Kev Bond and said "You'll never guess what's happened" and you know what? He nailed it first time.
 
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