Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

[Jurgen the German]

This will probably just be some rambling of random words, but I feel I just got to get this of my chest.

I've been struggling with depression for probably the last 3 years, but haven't really admitted it until this year. There are probably lots of reasons, and that's probably one of the things I need help with.
Last week I finally managed to seek help. I went to my doctor for help with an inflammation. As usual, my doctor that I've had for 30 years, wasn't there, so I got the appointment with a another one, who's only there for a short period. Turned out that she was a really lovely (and very attractive) person, originally from Afghanistan, and she was really easy to talk to.
So after my initial problem was dealt with, I just let go and gave her a long speech of how I felt.

She immediately booked me in for a session with my regular doctor, and said that if I was her patient, she'd start with some tests right away. She was really helpful, and took me seriously. I'd been delaying contacting my doctor for months, out of fear of not being taken seriously.
After leaving, it felt like I'd left 100kg behind. It was really good, and when I entered my car to drive away, I started crying. I couldn't stop it, and I probably sat there crying for 15-20 minutes.

The day after, I got a message that my appointment with my doctor had been cancelled, and I had to book a new appointment via their app. I immediately did, but have got no response since, and that made me feel quite down again, and I'm fearing I'm back to square one again.

Anyway, dealing with depression and mental problems is really hard. I was previously one of those that kind of thought that you just have to pull yourself together and deal with it. Well, I've learned that it's fuxking hard, and it gets worse the longer it goes. Hopefully I'll get some help, because I know myself that I am not able to sort it out on my own.

Sorry about this long rambling, but it felt good typing it out.
Hope everyone else is in good health, and wish you the best!

Well done again mate. Posted in a different thread I’ve had my own struggles earlier this year. Interested to hear how people deal with mental health in terms of work. Do you tell your employer about it? I guess it’s a judgement call. I’ve just started a new job in March, I had multiple days where I had to go to the toilet as I was feeling tearful. Is it worth sharing with my line manager? Do they need to know? Is it none of their business?

 

[AuroRaman]

Well done again mate. Posted in a different thread I’ve had my own struggles earlier this year. Interested to hear how people deal with mental health in terms of work. Do you tell your employer about it? I guess it’s a judgement call. I’ve just started a new job in March, I had multiple days where I had to go to the toilet as I was feeling tearful. Is it worth sharing with my line manager? Do they need to know? Is it none of their business?

Sorry to hear about your struggles mate. May I ask, is it your new job that's affecting your mental health and having to excuse yourself or external things? (or both?). I think you're correct with it being a judgement call, however putting myself in your shoes I would most definitely be transparent with my line manager. I'd like to think it would take some rocks out of the baggage I might be carrying with me into the workplace. It's as much of their business as you choose it to be and I think sharing a problem provides an opportunity for a solution, especially when it comes to mental health. I'd also question an employer who reacted negatively to one of their employees making themselves vulnerable in such a brave manner.

You'll know what's best for you but always good to talk it out if you're unsure. Wish you the all the best.

 

[ricky2tricky4city]

Well done again mate. Posted in a different thread I’ve had my own struggles earlier this year. Interested to hear how people deal with mental health in terms of work. Do you tell your employer about it? I guess it’s a judgement call. I’ve just started a new job in March, I had multiple days where I had to go to the toilet as I was feeling tearful. Is it worth sharing with my line manager? Do they need to know? Is it none of their business?

Things have moved on a fair bit in the area of mental health in the workplace. (much like they have in the wider world). Mostly around duty of care but also for the typical business reasons of reducing absenteeism and increasing productivity. I won't lie to you, it's still a tough call out there, for someone like yourself struggling, mainly around the culture of your company and the character of your superiors. As I say it's changing, there are less tossers out there, managers with specific training to spot and implement interventions to help (after all it's beneficial to them in the long run).

If you have an HR department you can always speak to them. They may run workshops or access to counselling via an external provider. Or they could refer you to Occupational Health if that's in place. Also find out if the have an EAP in place, with online or over the phone support.
I know it's early on in your new job BUT if help is there, take it. Just be honest, this resonates with all but the lowest ding dongs of the world. If it makes you feel better and happier, they'll be benefiting as well. Best wishes.

 

[Jurgen the German]

Sorry to hear about your struggles mate. May I ask, is it your new job that's affecting your mental health and having to excuse yourself or external things? (or both?). I think you're correct with it being a judgement call, however putting myself in your shoes I would most definitely be transparent with my line manager. I'd like to think it would take some rocks out of the baggage I might be carrying with me into the workplace. It's as much of their business as you choose it to be and I think sharing a problem provides an opportunity for a solution, especially when it comes to mental health. I'd also question an employer who reacted negatively to one of their employees making themselves vulnerable in such a brave manner.

You'll know what's best for you but always good to talk it out if you're unsure. Wish you the all the best.

It’s more external factors that are leading to me feeling low, stems mainly from my mum who has dementia and now lives in a care home. Other factors as well but that’s the main catalyst. I went to the doctors last month and I do feel much better although not 100%. The job itself is going ok thankfully, only started last month and it’s a big learning curve and you’ve got the usual stresses of starting a new job and wondering if you’ll pass the probation for example. I like to think I will but my last job wasn’t a good fit and it knocked my confidence a little bit.

I really appreciate the message btw mate. I know we’ve clashed a couple of times on here but I don’t hold any grudges but I’m sorry if I’ve ever crossed the line.

 

[Jurgen the German]

Things have moved on a fair bit in the area of mental health in the workplace. (much like they have in the wider world). Mostly around duty of care but also for the typical business reasons of reducing absenteeism and increasing productivity. I won't lie to you, it's still a tough call out there, for someone like yourself struggling, mainly around the culture of your company and the character of your superiors. As I say it's changing, there are less tossers out there, managers with specific training to spot and implement interventions to help (after all it's beneficial to them in the long run).

If you have an HR department you can always speak to them. They may run workshops or access to counselling via an external provider. Or they could refer you to Occupational Health if that's in place. Also find out if the have an EAP in place, with online or over the phone support.
I know it's early on in your new job BUT if help is there, take it. Just be honest, this resonates with all but the lowest ding dongs of the world. If it makes you feel better and happier, they'll be benefiting as well. Best wishes.

I work for quite a big company (over 1000 people on site) so luckily there’s a proper HR setup which smaller companies don’t always have. There’s pros and cons to working for a big firm, but one of the upsides is they usually have infrastructure in place and appropriate support which I guess the smaller companies can’t always afford. I feel better than I did a few weeks ago but still trying to decide if I should tell them about my mental health, even if it’s just in case they wonder why I have to leave my desk periodically.

 

[AuroRaman]

It’s more external factors that are leading to me feeling low, stems mainly from my mum who has dementia and now lives in a care home. Other factors as well but that’s the main catalyst. I went to the doctors last month and I do feel much better although not 100%. The job itself is going ok thankfully, only started last month and it’s a big learning curve and you’ve got the usual stresses of starting a new job and wondering if you’ll pass the probation for example. I like to think I will but my last job wasn’t a good fit and it knocked my confidence a little bit.

I really appreciate the message btw mate. I know we’ve clashed a couple of times on here but I don’t hold any grudges but I’m sorry if I’ve ever crossed the line.

I haven't had any experience of a loved one with dementia, but I know enough through close friends who have experienced/are currently experiencing it to appreciate the massive toll it takes on everyone involved. I admire you for taking action and I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. The job will sort itself out, it sounds like you're in a healthy place with it and keeping grounded despite what is happening externally.

And thank you mate, I appreciate that. I apologise for my hyperbolic reactions and intolerance in the past. It's always a reflection of where my head is at rather than anyone else when I react to things in that manner and not how I wish to conduct myself. Always a work in progress!

 

[Raziel]

Warning, end of this song is tough

Background, singers best friend jumped off a bridge, he made it to bridge minutes late

 

[monkeybarry]

Warning, end of this song is tough

Background, singers best friend jumped off a bridge, he made it to bridge minutes late

Song for Josh by Frank Turner is a song I still struggle to get through.
Having an answer to every question he asks. And picturing in one of my friends, or my mum (!), saying the same if I hadn't made it through.

I won't post it.

 

[ricky2tricky4city]

Warning, end of this song is tough

Background, singers best friend jumped off a bridge, he made it to bridge minutes late

Ren is really on a different level. His talent knows no limits. It's great he's starting to be recognised and still not caring much about the traditional avenues of the music business.

 

[Daisuk]

I'm finally divorced from the missus and couldn't be happier! fudging hell I've been so blind. She's been manipulating me for 13 years. Cheating on me forever. She's had so many dude friends that have been acting weird around me - I'm sure she slept with all of them. So good at concealing it. fudging psychopath. I thought I could smell those, but fix me, I lived with one! Crazy. She basically moved out in November last year. Remember that insanely smart and pretty girl I wrote about back in 2019? fudge. I hope I have a chance with her now! She's the love of my life.

 

[Daisuk]

I'm at the asylum now because other people think they know what's best for me. Always hated other people taking decisions for me. fudge that.

 

[spurspinter1]

I'm at the asylum now because other people think they know what's best for me. Always hated other people taking decisions for me. fudge that.

Although it may appear like a bad thing right now in the here and present (as it did for me during my stint), hopefully in time it'll be clearer that it may have come to this because people who love you are worried (rightly or wrongly in your opinion currently) about you.

No doubt it'll be a process of acclimatization and if you're going cold turkey on weed / mushrooms it may be a bit of a wild ride for a week or so, but hopefully you can get yourself in to a healthy routine - Get some good reading material to get stuck in to and do loads of yoga / stretching / any self care you can do.

You seem like a kind person so I don't really need to say this but try not to battle with the staff or other patients, obviously everyone is going through their own thing and it can be a bit hectic but find peace and solitude when it is required.

A hasty late night edit - Not to sound overly sentimental, and it may be influenced by me having a drink tonight, but I've no doubt everyone on here has your back and although it might not make a tangible difference to your current situation, a feel of community goes a long way.

TLDNR - We love you and hope you're doing okay bud

 

[Daisuk]

Easy there, tiger.

https://theconfessionsofasinner.blogspot.com/?m=1

 

[Jurgen the German]

Does anyone else get stressed out by work and get anxious over it? I dread starting work most mornings as I’m worried about what emails I might have received overnight or about something I might have done wrong. That’s the same whether I WFH or go into the office. I’m a project manager, it pays pretty well and PM’s are always in demand but I do wonder if I would be happier in a less stressful, less high-pressure job but I would have to weigh it up against the possibility of taking a lower paid job and having less disposable income and less earning/saving potential. I do find it’s worse in the mornings and I get less stressed as the day/week goes on.

 

[markysimmo]

Does anyone else get stressed out by work and get anxious over it? I dread starting work most mornings as I’m worried about what emails I might have received overnight or about something I might have done wrong. That’s the same whether I WFH or go into the office. I’m a project manager, it pays pretty well and PM’s are always in demand but I do wonder if I would be happier in a less stressful, less high-pressure job but I would have to weigh it up against the possibility of taking a lower paid job and having less disposable income and less earning/saving potential. I do find it’s worse in the mornings and I get less stressed as the day/week goes on.

I used to as a Perm staff member
Now as a contractor I am there to do my job and nothing else, have no interest in office politics etc either
Start at 8am finish at 4pm every day, absolutely love it

 

[ricky2tricky4city]

Does anyone else get stressed out by work and get anxious over it? I dread starting work most mornings as I’m worried about what emails I might have received overnight or about something I might have done wrong. That’s the same whether I WFH or go into the office. I’m a project manager, it pays pretty well and PM’s are always in demand but I do wonder if I would be happier in a less stressful, less high-pressure job but I would have to weigh it up against the possibility of taking a lower paid job and having less disposable income and less earning/saving potential. I do find it’s worse in the mornings and I get less stressed as the day/week goes on.

It sounds like you have built up a sensitivity about responsibility. And that could be because you're a decent employee that doesn't want to let people down and want to be seen to be good at your job. (a commendable thing).

The clue here is it's building up overnight or the weekend. ie the period when you are away from 'control'. You're anxious about what is coming up, doubting your ability, and how you'll be viewed if mistakes are made.

This, as largely proven by your ongoing day at work, is worrying/stressing about nothing (yes, of course brick happens sometimes), so is a mindset you have built up overtime. You need to explore why this is. Is there any help at work? Workshops, EAP etc. Sometimes learning some techniques, coping skills (meditation, breathwork) or unpacking something to rewind or reframe it might help.

Of course, a change of scenery and a lowering of responsibility could help, if you genuinely think that is the root cause. As long as making ends meet doesn't become the new stressor. Good luck

 

[glasgowspur]

Does anyone else get stressed out by work and get anxious over it? I dread starting work most mornings as I’m worried about what emails I might have received overnight or about something I might have done wrong. That’s the same whether I WFH or go into the office. I’m a project manager, it pays pretty well and PM’s are always in demand but I do wonder if I would be happier in a less stressful, less high-pressure job but I would have to weigh it up against the possibility of taking a lower paid job and having less disposable income and less earning/saving potential. I do find it’s worse in the mornings and I get less stressed as the day/week goes on.

Sounds all to familiar.
My problem is that I worry about issues that I can't control.
I spend at least 50%, of my time sorting out everyone else problems or fixing their mistakes. I'm very good at it.
My position in the company is unique and no one totally understands what I do or how I do it, so no one can help me.
It's a lot responsibility and pressure that is really starting to have an effect on me.
I've got six and a half years to retirement and I'm literally counting down the weeks.

 

[Bullet]

I think both of you guys need to give less of a sh*t about things, in a good way though!!!
I.e. if you get hit by a bus tomorrow and need 2 weeks off work to recover, the world will keep spinning, all of your projects will continue onwards, other people will find solutions and get things done. They won't be done right or perfectly, but they will happen.

You are not superman.
You are playing the role of 'hero' saving the day but you need to realise that is not beneficial for anyone long term.
Don't be a hero, don't work too hard. The company could fold or downturn or lay you off at any moment for no good reason. Just do a job to a decent standard and go home.
There is ALWAYS more that can be done. You can ALWAYS stay late and do more.
I did it myself for 20 years and got lots of promotions and money but really, looking back I should have held back a bit for my own sanity / relaxation / enjoyment rather than being the hero.

As MarkySimmo says above, he just does a job from 8-4 and stops.

My boss always says to me, if anyone is working later than 5PM, what the hell are they playing at, they should be delegating or getting resource or working more efficiently or SOMETHING to get the job done by 5, or just leave it til tomorrow.

Nobody outside of your tiny bubble cares. Before you were born and after you die, everything will still be there, chugging away.

I suffered from the same stress overnight, worrying what MIGHT go wrong and dealing with 1000 issues per day, but looking back, the company were using me and I was doing too much.

 

[ricky2tricky4city]

I think both of you guys need to give less of a sh*t about things, in a good way though!!!
I.e. if you get hit by a bus tomorrow and need 2 weeks off work to recover, the world will keep spinning, all of your projects will continue onwards, other people will find solutions and get things done. They won't be done right or perfectly, but they will happen.

You are not superman.
You are playing the role of 'hero' saving the day but you need to realise that is not beneficial for anyone long term.
Don't be a hero, don't work too hard. The company could fold or downturn or lay you off at any moment for no good reason. Just do a job to a decent standard and go home.
There is ALWAYS more that can be done. You can ALWAYS stay late and do more.
I did it myself for 20 years and got lots of promotions and money but really, looking back I should have held back a bit for my own sanity / relaxation / enjoyment rather than being the hero.

As MarkySimmo says above, he just does a job from 8-4 and stops.

My boss always says to me, if anyone is working later than 5PM, what the hell are they playing at, they should be delegating or getting resource or working more efficiently or SOMETHING to get the job done by 5, or just leave it til tomorrow.

Nobody outside of your tiny bubble cares. Before you were born and after you die, everything will still be there, chugging away.

I suffered from the same stress overnight, worrying what MIGHT go wrong and dealing with 1000 issues per day, but looking back, the company were using me and I was doing too much.

The other thing to add....none of this gets easier as you get older. You would have taken on the baggage of 100 other things to grind you down and question yourself or the world, and what you'll have as you age is less energy and less brain power to sail on through.

Time well spent becomes important, as does looking after yourself. (For your own benefit or loved ones). Unless you are doing something you really love (ie the jobs where people say 'it doesn't feel like a job') then it is just a job. Treat it with that level of importance.

 

[glasgowspur]

I think both of you guys need to give less of a sh*t about things, in a good way though!!!
I.e. if you get hit by a bus tomorrow and need 2 weeks off work to recover, the world will keep spinning, all of your projects will continue onwards, other people will find solutions and get things done. They won't be done right or perfectly, but they will happen.

You are not superman.
You are playing the role of 'hero' saving the day but you need to realise that is not beneficial for anyone long term.
Don't be a hero, don't work too hard. The company could fold or downturn or lay you off at any moment for no good reason. Just do a job to a decent standard and go home.
There is ALWAYS more that can be done. You can ALWAYS stay late and do more.
I did it myself for 20 years and got lots of promotions and money but really, looking back I should have held back a bit for my own sanity / relaxation / enjoyment rather than being the hero.

As MarkySimmo says above, he just does a job from 8-4 and stops.

My boss always says to me, if anyone is working later than 5PM, what the hell are they playing at, they should be delegating or getting resource or working more efficiently or SOMETHING to get the job done by 5, or just leave it til tomorrow.

Nobody outside of your tiny bubble cares. Before you were born and after you die, everything will still be there, chugging away.

I suffered from the same stress overnight, worrying what MIGHT go wrong and dealing with 1000 issues per day, but looking back, the company were using me and I was doing too much.

I'm really trying to adopt that attitude, and making some progress, but it's in my nature unfortunately.
I do a really good job and I'm bloody proud of it, need to learn to let it go though, it's not good for you in the long run.