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Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

I have been off work for nearly two months. Im just part time as im semi retired but GHod i need more structure to my days.

I am not trying to sound like Ian Duncan Smith here but i cant be healthy being unemployed. How do the dead beats cope with it?
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
I have been off work for nearly two months. Im just part time as im semi retired but GHod i need more structure to my days.

I am not trying to sound like Ian Duncan Smith here but i cant be healthy being unemployed. How do the dead beats cope with it?
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Weirdly I am working harder than I have for some years. I am managing to keep my businesses running, with most of the staff working (dossing) around at home. Also just had a baby. I'm jealous of all those off work! Grass is always greener and all that.

Plenty of things you can do from home, language exchanges, garden?, Thai Chai...if really desperate i can give you a job :)
 
SpurMeUp said:
Weirdly I am working harder than I have for some years. I am managing to keep my businesses running, with most of the staff working (dossing) around at home. Also just had a baby. I'm jealous of all those off work! Grass is always greener and all that.

Plenty of things you can do from home, language exchanges, garden?, Thai Chai...if really desperate i can give you a job :)
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Congratulations!
 
This week is an unwanted holiday of sorts as I teach Chinese students and there's a labour day celebration so no lessons from Friday of last week up until Thursday this week.

I really need things to focus on (and the money) and without being obligated to do things I've spent the last couple of days mainly binge eating sugar and flicking between PS4 + watching uninspiring TV. The return to this bad lifestyle has brought on very unpleasant thoughts and I'm aware that I'm not eating and sleeping out of hunger or tiredness but out of sadness. It looks very melodramatic to see it typed out. I'm not trying to separate myself from my actions as the consequences are pretty clear, so it's more why I do it? And how to remain consistently on one's own side, pretty sure I'd alluded to a quite severe self hatred that's always lurking about but it's like I enjoy being in that (this) state. It's way easier to think you are totally useless at everything than to try at things so maybe more of a laziness thing than anything, it's a lack of shame on my part.

As I mentioned in the CVID 19 thread our family lost a relative and I had to watch a stream of the funeral online, which unsurprisingly had a load of buffering issues so it was more frustrating than anything anyways (perhaps apart from watching a functioning stream of us playing this season :D) but using something like this an excuse for regressing to bricky behaviours and losing all faith in oneself is weak AF.

I truly hope each one of you bastards is coping superbly well, presume most have gone through ups and downs either related to the lock down or otherwise.
 
spurspinter1 said:
This week is an unwanted holiday of sorts as I teach Chinese students and there's a labour day celebration so no lessons from Friday of last week up until Thursday this week.

I really need things to focus on (and the money) and without being obligated to do things I've spent the last couple of days mainly binge eating sugar and flicking between PS4 + watching uninspiring TV. The return to this bad lifestyle has bought on very unpleasant thoughts and I'm aware that I'm not eating and sleeping out of hunger or tiredness but out of sadness. It looks very melodramatic to see it typed out. I'm not trying to separate myself from my actions as the consequences are pretty clear, so it's more why I do it? And how to remain consistently on one's own side, pretty sure I'd alluded to a quite severe self hatred that's always lurking about but it's like I enjoy being in that (this) state. It's way easier to think you are totally useless at everything than to try at things so maybe more of a laziness thing than anything, it's a lack of shame on my part.

As I mentioned in the CVID 19 thread our family lost a relative and I had to watch a stream of the funeral online, which unsurprisingly had a load of buffering issues so it was more frustrating than anything anyways (perhaps apart from watching a functioning stream of us playing this season :D) but using something like this an excuse for regressing to bricky behaviours and losing all faith in oneself is weak AF.

I truly hope each one of you bastards is coping superbly well, presume most have gone through ups and downs either related to the lock down or otherwise.
Click to expand...

I think i have said it in this thread and others. A man has to have a reason to get out of bed in the mornings. I am semi retired and had to go back to work at least part time for something to do.

You need to set yourself targets and projects. Even something like a5 mile walk in the morning and then an hour of chinese lessons tgen give yourself a hours break and watch tv. If your to strict on yourself you will crack from finding the schedule to hard and just do nothing.

One tip i learnt was to put an elastic band round your wrist and if you gorge on crisps for example then afterwards ping the elastic band till it hurts. Everytime you engage in behaviour you regret do this afterwards. It is howi got rid of the constant erections on public transport.

Keeping your days occupied is so important, one of the big life lessons i have learnt. That and having something to look forward to.
 
spurspinter1 said:
This week is an unwanted holiday of sorts as I teach Chinese students and there's a labour day celebration so no lessons from Friday of last week up until Thursday this week.

I really need things to focus on (and the money) and without being obligated to do things I've spent the last couple of days mainly binge eating sugar and flicking between PS4 + watching uninspiring TV. The return to this bad lifestyle has bought on very unpleasant thoughts and I'm aware that I'm not eating and sleeping out of hunger or tiredness but out of sadness. It looks very melodramatic to see it typed out. I'm not trying to separate myself from my actions as the consequences are pretty clear, so it's more why I do it? And how to remain consistently on one's own side, pretty sure I'd alluded to a quite severe self hatred that's always lurking about but it's like I enjoy being in that (this) state. It's way easier to think you are totally useless at everything than to try at things so maybe more of a laziness thing than anything, it's a lack of shame on my part.

As I mentioned in the CVID 19 thread our family lost a relative and I had to watch a stream of the funeral online, which unsurprisingly had a load of buffering issues so it was more frustrating than anything anyways (perhaps apart from watching a functioning stream of us playing this season :D) but using something like this an excuse for regressing to bricky behaviours and losing all faith in oneself is weak AF.

I truly hope each one of you bastards is coping superbly well, presume most have gone through ups and downs either related to the lock down or otherwise.
Click to expand...
You say you 'like/enjoy being in this state'?

But you clearly don't?
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
I think i have said it in this thread and others. A man has to have a reason to get out of bed in the mornings. I am semi retired and had to go back to work at least part time for something to do.

You need to set yourself targets and projects. Even something like a5 mile walk in the morning and then an hour of chinese lessons tgen give yourself a hours break and watch tv. If your to strict on yourself you will crack from finding the schedule to hard and just do nothing.

One tip i learnt was to put an elastic band round your wrist and if you gorge on crisps for example then afterwards ping the elastic band till it hurts. Everytime you engage in behaviour you regret do this afterwards. It is howi got rid of the constant erections on public transport.

Keeping your days occupied is so important, one of the big life lessons i have learnt. That and having something to look forward to.
Click to expand...

Good tips my friend, I've heard about the elastic band as a useful mechanism. I probably wasn't clear about the lessons, I'm teaching Chinese people how to speak English. But I am learning Spanish so your point still applies. It's the keeping busy and doing useful things with my time, I know it's what I have to do, like clean eating / exercise but it's finding that consistency.

ricky2tricky4city said:
You say you 'like/enjoy being in this state'?

But you clearly don't?
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Hmm, yeah I said "it's like I enjoy being in this state". A big part of this is a total lack of awareness / certainty of how I feel about anything (might be clear from my posting history on here haha) or having severe internal disagreements about whether something is a good idea or not, what I exactly should be doing. It's a partition in a bad way.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
I have been off work for nearly two months. Im just part time as im semi retired but GHod i need more structure to my days.

I am not trying to sound like Ian Duncan Smith here but i cant be healthy being unemployed. How do the dead beats cope with it?
Click to expand...
speaking personally - Lots and lots of practice ;)
 
I have had some issues with my sister today. 51 years old but she acts like a 20 year old, she is clearly having a crisis. It is hard to see someone you love crumble so much.

Think some people have spoken about mental health in this lock down like it is a checklist without really thinking what it is actually doing to people.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
I have had some issues with my sister today. 51 years old but she acts like a 20 year old, she is clearly having a crisis. It is hard to see someone you love crumble so much.

Think some people have spoken about mental health in this lock down like it is a checklist without really thinking what it is actually doing to people.
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Absolutely mate. Sorry to hear that, but yes, I think the planet is trapped by a mental health crisis and it is adding 20% on every emotion and reaction to anything. I am trying to be more methodical in all I am doing. But it is weird. I travel a lot, and this is the first time since 1984 I have not been on a plane for more than 4 months. Mental. But getting more long hikes and stuff in. Bright side and all that...
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
I have had some issues with my sister today. 51 years old but she acts like a 20 year old, she is clearly having a crisis. It is hard to see someone you love crumble so much.

Think some people have spoken about mental health in this lock down like it is a checklist without really thinking what it is actually doing to people.
Click to expand...
Do you usually have a good relationship with your sister?
 
Hotshot-Tottenham said:
Weirdly it kind of came to a head tonight. There was a discussion which turned into a continuation of an argument / misunderstanding and I said that we clearly can’t communicate and that we should try counseling which she didn’t want to do.

We talked about her voice and she thinks she has it because she trying to find out a ‘betrayal’ - something that someone has done that links me, her old job, her family etc but she doesn’t know what.

I said that I don’t think she’s well but she insists that because the doctors signed her off then she’s fine, and she took my saying that to be offensive and deliberately hurtful: that I was trying to undermine her by saying she’s mad and it’s all part of what I do to keep her down. I just want her to get help.

We talked about separating and practicalities about what we’d do about the house. Then we kept talking (calmly, honestly and respectfully which was a bit surreal but positive) and almost seemed to come full circle saying that we still loved each other and that there were some positives but that we had to accept it wasn’t working.

I think the lack of communication has been a killer, and the frustration and resentment that’s built up on both sides is palpable. There’s clearly still love there but I don’t know if too much has happened.

I’m exhausted. Thanks everyone for the other replies. I’ll revisit those in the coming days. It does help to talk on here so thank you.
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Hi guys, it’s been a while since my last posts on this thread.

We limped on, through Christmas, through a couple of hospitalisations for her dad who was ill, through my visit to family overseas all with this hanging over us. Then Covid.

It came to a head (again) a couple of weeks back and we’ve decided to get divorced. An opportunity arose to discuss it, I pretty much insisted that it was done and here we are.

I know it’s for the best and it’s weirdly amicable but the sadness and guilt and regret is real.

she wants to stay in the house and seems to think her parents will buy me out. Fine, I know they’re comfortable but I don’t know if they’ve got that much lying around.

She hasn’t told them yet which is a bit of a worry; I just want to get on with it now. We need to get the house valued, draw up an agreement on who gets what. I’ve spoken to a solicitor.

So yeah, screw 2020 right.

Thanks for all your replies and support on here. It has genuinely helped when I’ve been really low.
 
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