Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

[thfcsteff]

GGG and Chich...indeed, keep fighting, keep the short-focus strong, each day is a victory GGG and you can do it my friend.
Yes indeed, short-term strength is as important as long-term. My daughter is dealing with huge anxiety/mood-swing/almost bi-polar issues which have brought about at least half a dozen suicidal thoughts. She speaks freely, has counseling and we support her in every single way we can. She is 13 in June but looks 18 and acts 16. Her mind is so fast, so smart that it is almost too much for her sometimes. My wife also has depression issues, which she deals with on the front front foot and is very, very mindful of, but there are days when I have to go into a room for 10 mins, lie down, hug the dog and go into a "meditation", to remind myself that we are all doing the best we can, that help is being provided, that there is blazing light at the end of the tunnel and that the next day is a new day. My daughter is lucky to be a great singer/lyricist and writer, so she has a creative outlet which she uses a lot. Friends of mine who would know about these things (with regards to ability) are blown away by her work, I won't let her have a Soundcloud or any of that yet as I just want her to enjoy the process without stressing on the "likes" and all that.

Yes chaps...life can be a challenge, but to quote a wise, wise man (who also enjoys custard and stockings poured on his knob as he takes a waffle bat to the ares-cheeks) "Fcuk the world and fight everyday you got strength and air in your lungs to be any other way would make you a spurs player, and we are fans, we have fight."

I think this is all why I try to always see the bright side of things, to look for the positives and not dwell on the negatives. The latter is certainly easy but the former is a lot better!!!!

p.s. I WILL say that I believe in this team to fight like us fans do!!!! COYS!

 

[thfcsteff]

They are mate and I need to change my lifestyle to keep them. Tonight we were offered a free bottle of wine when we ate out by the sea, perfect view of the beach and was a great setting for beers. The waiter poured the wine for me to try and taste which I did, but I didn’t drink anymore. I gave to the in law and drunk cokes. So whilst I failed slightly I feel that I still won.

We met my wife’s mates who have come here today and her mates husband likes a beer so it was a test which I think I passed.

You won!
Be prepared, you "might" lose a couple of mates on your journey, but those are the "mates" you do not need. TRUE friends will fudging well love you for this and do EVERYTHING to support you.
Keep it up my friend...

 

[Hotshot-Tottenham]

Someone close to me has relapsed after being discharged from psych care last year. I knew it would happen but no-one listened to me.

So now they’re not on medication and not seeing anyone to talk.

I raised the question of going back to see the doctors but they are point blank refusing to even discuss it, let alone go.

Part of this illness is paranoia, conspiracy, anxiety and obsessiveness, and it manifests in hearing voices and believing delusions. It’s quite frightening to observe and I feel pretty helpless at the moment. And large part of it is denying it not recognizing there’s a problem as insight is impaired.

The only way I can think of to get them help is basically to stage an intervention which will inevitably lead to a confrontation, and then I can call the police for a welfare assessment and they can hopefully take them for a formal psych assessment.

But I am drained from this, and I’m finding it very hard to summon the courage. I just know it will be hugely distressing for everyone involved, but I have to do it. This person desperately needs care and help, but they don’t want it.

 

[thfcsteff]

Someone close to me has relapsed after being discharged from psych care last year. I knew it would happen but no-one listened to me.

So now they’re not on medication and not seeing anyone to talk.

I raised the question of going back to see the doctors but they are point blank refusing to even discuss it, let alone go.

Part of this illness is paranoia, conspiracy, anxiety and obsessiveness, and it manifests in hearing voices and believing delusions. It’s quite frightening to observe and I feel pretty helpless at the moment. And large part of it is denying it not recognizing there’s a problem as insight is impaired.

The only way I can think of to get them help is basically to stage an intervention which will inevitably lead to a confrontation, and then I can call the police for a welfare assessment and they can hopefully take them for a formal psych assessment.

But I am drained from this, and I’m finding it very hard to summon the courage. I just know it will be hugely distressing for everyone involved, but I have to do it. This person desperately needs care and help, but they don’t want it.

Rarely should anyone say the words "I know how you feel" as too often, people don't quite...but in this case? I know how you feel. this describes the final decade of my Dad's life. I lived many many miles away from him, but it did not make it easier. We ended up concluding that as long as he was not harming himself or others, and as long as he could function without assistance, that we would simply watch from a distance, visit when we could/when the opportunity allowed, and monitor from afar, fully aware that something might happen which we would not hear about for a few days. He died in the Xmas of 2016 having had a heart-attack and fallen down his stairs. He knew he needed a stent but refused to get it (he had been lucid enough to go to the hospital when he had suffered a mild heart attack a year before that). He was not found for two days.It was not easy by any stretch, but the sheer levels of torture and anger when we suggested assistance and taking his meds was off the charts. I have my own family and am far away from him, so I felt to swoop in, force him into this stuff and then leave would've done no-one any good. He had 5 years like this before that heart attack, and when I'd see him for lunches and dinners, I learnt to not associate the man I knew as a young lad with the one before me. I took him as I found him on the given day I found him. It eased a lot of things.

Obviously I do not know who you are discussing, and what your relationship/family's relationship is with them. But I know the struggle very, very well.
PM me if you wish to chat, otherwise I wish you tremendous fortitude in what is a journey and a battle for sure.

p.s. I think your suggestion is pretty decent. Is everyone onboard? But certainly weigh it up. Very VERY hard calls these...

 

[milo]

Someone close to me has relapsed after being discharged from psych care last year. I knew it would happen but no-one listened to me.

So now they’re not on medication and not seeing anyone to talk.

I raised the question of going back to see the doctors but they are point blank refusing to even discuss it, let alone go.

Part of this illness is paranoia, conspiracy, anxiety and obsessiveness, and it manifests in hearing voices and believing delusions. It’s quite frightening to observe and I feel pretty helpless at the moment. And large part of it is denying it not recognizing there’s a problem as insight is impaired.

The only way I can think of to get them help is basically to stage an intervention which will inevitably lead to a confrontation, and then I can call the police for a welfare assessment and they can hopefully take them for a formal psych assessment.

But I am drained from this, and I’m finding it very hard to summon the courage. I just know it will be hugely distressing for everyone involved, but I have to do it. This person desperately needs care and help, but they don’t want it.

I think that is the right thing to do. It is for their safety, as much as anything.

I lived in a shared house in my early twenties. A mate of ours got sectioned for schizophrenia and we invited him to live with us when he was released. He stopped taking his meds and the deterioration in his mental health was frighteningly rapid. I remember sitting with him in the kitchen whilst he was telling me that witches were flying in through the window. He wouldn't open a closed door, if a door was shut, he'd wait outside until you opened it. He wouldn't use any soaps or detergents because he thought they'd poison him. This lasted for a couple of weeks before we realised that we were massively out of our depth and he needed professional help.

 

[thfcsteff]

I think that is the right thing to do. It is for their safety, as much as anything.

I lived in a shared house in my early twenties. A mate of ours got sectioned for schizophrenia and we invited him to live with us when he was released. He stopped taking his meds and the deterioration in his mental health was frighteningly rapid. I remember sitting with him in the kitchen whilst he was telling me that witches were flying in through the window. He wouldn't open a closed door, if a door was shut, he'd wait outside until you opened it. He wouldn't use any soaps or detergents because he thought they'd poison him. This lasted for a couple of weeks before we realised that we were massively out of our depth and he needed professional help.

The extremity of these conditions is extremely individual for sure. My Dad refused the operation for the same reason he would not see a dentist for 15 years (they plant things in you of course!!!!) yet could function very well, went to opera and the NFT alone all the time and went to church so had a few church friends. He refused meds because he said they affected his painting. Your earlier life-situation sounds difficult for sure.

 

[milo]

The extremity of these conditions is extremely individual for sure. My Dad refused the operation for the same reason he would not see a dentist for 15 years (they plant things in you of course!!!!) yet could function very well, went to opera and the NFT alone all the time and went to church so had a few church friends. He refused meds because he said they affected his painting. Your earlier life-situation sounds difficult for sure.

My direct involvement was short-lived. It must be devastating to see it happen to someone you love over such a long period of time.

 

[thfcsteff]

My direct involvement was short-lived. It must be devastating to see it happen to someone you love over such a long period of time.

Very surreal. In the end you have to come to grips with the fact this person is not the person he was when you were a kid, and holding onto that is damaging on many levels. But yes, it is depressing mate...



Sitting on my porcelain throne using glory-glory.co.uk mobile app

 

[Hotshot-Tottenham]

Rarely should anyone say the words "I know how you feel" as too often, people don't quite...but in this case? I know how you feel. this describes the final decade of my Dad's life. I lived many many miles away from him, but it did not make it easier. We ended up concluding that as long as he was not harming himself or others, and as long as he could function without assistance, that we would simply watch from a distance, visit when we could/when the opportunity allowed, and monitor from afar, fully aware that something might happen which we would not hear about for a few days. He died in the Xmas of 2016 having had a heart-attack and fallen down his stairs. He knew he needed a stent but refused to get it (he had been lucid enough to go to the hospital when he had suffered a mild heart attack a year before that). He was not found for two days.It was not easy by any stretch, but the sheer levels of torture and anger when we suggested assistance and taking his meds was off the charts. I have my own family and am far away from him, so I felt to swoop in, force him into this stuff and then leave would've done no-one any good. He had 5 years like this before that heart attack, and when I'd see him for lunches and dinners, I learnt to not associate the man I knew as a young lad with the one before me. I took him as I found him on the given day I found him. It eased a lot of things.

Obviously I do not know who you are discussing, and what your relationship/family's relationship is with them. But I know the struggle very, very well.
PM me if you wish to chat, otherwise I wish you tremendous fortitude in what is a journey and a battle for sure.

p.s. I think your suggestion is pretty decent. Is everyone onboard? But certainly weigh it up. Very VERY hard calls these...

Thanks Steff and Milo for the replies.

Everyone has been candid in this thread and perhaps I should do the courtesy of being a little more open myself about a couple of the details. It also helps me to talk.

It’s my wife that is unwell. She has been for 7-8 years if I’m honest. Around 4 years ago she had a crisis and was sectioned after a long, descending period of increasingly acute symptoms. She was in hospital for 3 weeks and was much better when she out, though not fully recovered.

Sadly the aftercare was non-existent and she soon spiraled back into it.

Then a couple of years back it culminated in another crisis. This time the care was much better and she was seen for daily home visits for months to administer medication and to talk. They were going to admit her again, this time to a different hospital, but there was a problem with the availability of the assessment staff in the hospital as it was a Friday. But generally she was doing ok with weekly psychologist visits, monthly psychiatric appointments and medication.

Then early last summer she took herself off the meds, unbelievably the psychiatrist agreed and discharged her.

By late summer I was seeing the emergence of the same old symptoms, and by now, it’s a daily thing. The paranoia, the persecution theories, the obsessiveness and the voice is back with a vengeance.

There was an episode a couple of months back and I had to call the police with the hope that they would be able to take her for assessment. But there was a major incident locally and there were no police able to attend until the next morning, a Sunday. By which time she was sufficiently calm and apparently accepting of the (very good, understanding) officer’s advice to seek medical help.

When I tried to arrange this the next day she was completely unwilling to cooperate. There would be threats and accusations if I tried to press the point. But I know it’s not her. It’s the illness.

In answer to your question Steff, yes, her folks are on board with the intervention idea, tough as it will be. I honestly don’t think we have any choice. I feel it’s a disservice to her to let her continue to be unwell, and it’s clearly not going to get better by itself.

I think there’s a fair chance it could end the marriage. The illness has devastated the relationship and this could be the final straw as she is vehemently against getting help (the irony of the illness). I think she’s scared of being taken back into hospital. She says that I’m plotting with ‘the authorities’ to get her medicated / institutionalized to keep her under ‘control’ for some nefarious, undefined reason.

Ending is not what I want and I worry that if it’s the case, what will she do? She’s unable to work and the relationship with her parents is strained, so her living there would be fraught. We wanted to have children but that looks very unlikely now.

And I don’t know how much longer I can take it. We’re dysfunctional and there’s no doubt it’s affecting my own wellbeing.

And thanks for giving me your perspective and talking about your situation.

I might take you up on that offer of the pm. Thank you.

 

[SpurMeUp]

I think the challenge for those who are around and care about people with mental health difficulties is dealing with the guilt.

It’s an irrational guilt, with complex emotions. But it’s not your fault and you have to stick to a plan of care plus give yourself lots of room yourself - otherwise you can’t help effectively.

Watching some YouTube vids on the condition or reading about other people’s experience can be extremely helpful - many people go through these tough times and come out the other side.






Sitting on my porcelain throne using glory-glory.co.uk mobile app

 

[thfcsteff]

Thanks Steff and Milo for the replies.

Everyone has been candid in this thread and perhaps I should do the courtesy of being a little more open myself about a couple of the details. It also helps me to talk.

It’s my wife that is unwell. She has been for 7-8 years if I’m honest. Around 4 years ago she had a crisis and was sectioned after a long, descending period of increasingly acute symptoms. She was in hospital for 3 weeks and was much better when she out, though not fully recovered.

Sadly the aftercare was non-existent and she soon spiraled back into it.

Then a couple of years back it culminated in another crisis. This time the care was much better and she was seen for daily home visits for months to administer medication and to talk. They were going to admit her again, this time to a different hospital, but there was a problem with the availability of the assessment staff in the hospital as it was a Friday. But generally she was doing ok with weekly psychologist visits, monthly psychiatric appointments and medication.

Then early last summer she took herself off the meds, unbelievably the psychiatrist agreed and discharged her.

By late summer I was seeing the emergence of the same old symptoms, and by now, it’s a daily thing. The paranoia, the persecution theories, the obsessiveness and the voice is back with a vengeance.

There was an episode a couple of months back and I had to call the police with the hope that they would be able to take her for assessment. But there was a major incident locally and there were no police able to attend until the next morning, a Sunday. By which time she was sufficiently calm and apparently accepting of the (very good, understanding) officer’s advice to seek medical help.

When I tried to arrange this the next day she was completely unwilling to cooperate. There would be threats and accusations if I tried to press the point. But I know it’s not her. It’s the illness.

In answer to your question Steff, yes, her folks are on board with the intervention idea, tough as it will be. I honestly don’t think we have any choice. I feel it’s a disservice to her to let her continue to be unwell, and it’s clearly not going to get better by itself.

I think there’s a fair chance it could end the marriage. The illness has devastated the relationship and this could be the final straw as she is vehemently against getting help (the irony of the illness). I think she’s scared of being taken back into hospital. She says that I’m plotting with ‘the authorities’ to get her medicated / institutionalized to keep her under ‘control’ for some nefarious, undefined reason.

Ending is not what I want and I worry that if it’s the case, what will she do? She’s unable to work and the relationship with her parents is strained, so her living there would be fraught. We wanted to have children but that looks very unlikely now.

And I don’t know how much longer I can take it. We’re dysfunctional and there’s no doubt it’s affecting my own wellbeing.

And thanks for giving me your perspective and talking about your situation.

I might take you up on that offer of the pm. Thank you.

Sent you a long PM mate...


Sitting on my porcelain throne using glory-glory.co.uk mobile app

 

[Hotshot-Tottenham]

Sent you a long PM mate...


Sitting on my porcelain throne using glory-glory.co.uk mobile app

Thanks mate, will reply shortly.

 

[thfcsteff]

Thanks mate, will reply shortly.

No rush whatsoever my friend, no rush...


Sitting on my porcelain throne using glory-glory.co.uk mobile app

 

[PochettinoPochettinoPochettino]

Check me out. Walked into town today and bumped into my bro who said he is meeting his mate for a drink in the pub at lunchtime. Said I couldnt as I am not drinking anymore and he said he's not either so have a soft drink.

Only went and got a.......



Feel so good and proud of myself. That never happens.

 

[nayimfromthehalfwayline]

Feel so good and proud of myself. That never happens.

And so you should! Well done mate.

Funny thing is, its not actually that big a thing is it? I did similar when I started driving, went to meet mates to watch games but took the car because its easier. Sat in the pub with a Coke while they had pints, after the first couple of times it didnt even seem odd to me. And I actually preferred getting home quickly and easily - and not waking up with a hangover!

Hopefully you find the same, itll make it easier on you going forward.

 

[PochettinoPochettinoPochettino]

And so you should! Well done mate.

Funny thing is, its not actually that big a thing is it? I did similar when I started driving, went to meet mates to watch games but took the car because its easier. Sat in the pub with a Coke while they had pints, after the first couple of times it didnt even seem odd to me. And I actually preferred getting home quickly and easily - and not waking up with a hangover!

Hopefully you find the same, itll make it easier on you going forward.

It was pretty easy actually. Also I have an evening with work on Thursday and everyone is asking if I am "out". They are quite gobsmacked that i have said I dont think I can make it, and are trying to persuade me but I am going to stick to my guns and either say "my mrs is out and I need to look after my son" or that I cant come as I am not drinking. Either way, it's good that they want me out but also good that I an now seeing that i don't need to go out or even drink.

 

[Daisuk]

Check me out. Walked into town today and bumped into my bro who said he is meeting his mate for a drink in the pub at lunchtime. Said I couldnt as I am not drinking anymore and he said he's not either so have a soft drink.

Only went and got a.......

Feel so good and proud of myself. That never happens.

That's great! Well done, mate. Every reason to be proud of that! Keep it up!

 

[90291Spur]

It was pretty easy actually. Also I have an evening with work on Thursday and everyone is asking if I am "out". They are quite gobsmacked that i have said I dont think I can make it, and are trying to persuade me but I am going to stick to my guns and either say "my mrs is out and I need to look after my son" or that I cant come as I am not drinking. Either way, it's good that they want me out but also good that I an now seeing that i don't need to go out or even drink.

Nicely done, amigo!

 

[90291Spur]

I have to applaud all of you who have posted so honestly on here about challenges with mental health/substance abuse. It takes balls (for the men and ovaries for the women and some other genital-related anatomy for those who choose other gender identification) to do so and is a vital part of getting better. My wife recently (over the past 6 years) re-trained as a therapist and has told me (whilst retaining confidentiality) of the benefits of regular sessions with the proper therapist.

Most of us do desire to improve our thought processes (I've lost count of the hours that 'little voice' in my head has hurled abuse at me) and learned behaviours, and I can highly recommend seeking out and trying therapy if there are things in life that feel too massive to overcome. And I can also advise that you find a therapist who understands you and works in ways that you can respond to.

Anyway, my hat (if I had one) is off to you all. Be as well as you can be.

 

[Yermiyahu]

It was pretty easy actually. Also I have an evening with work on Thursday and everyone is asking if I am "out". They are quite gobsmacked that i have said I dont think I can make it, and are trying to persuade me but I am going to stick to my guns and either say "my mrs is out and I need to look after my son" or that I cant come as I am not drinking. Either way, it's good that they want me out but also good that I an now seeing that i don't need to go out or even drink.

If and when you fall off the wagon at some point, and we all have, the crucial thing is that you don't let it stress you out, but that you get right back on it.