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Does anyone suffer from mental illness on here?

Had a pretty bad weekend.
Had a huge suicidal panic attack. Pole axed me in bed shaking for about four hours. Genuinely considered taking myself to a&e at one point as I felt like a danger to myself.
Ended by puking my guts up.

The annoying thing is, it wouldn't have been so bad if I had someone to give me a hug when it happened.

You hear stories that suicide is a slow burner and builds up over time. A bit worried about that now. But at least I managed to "trust the rational version of myself" and let it pass. Yeah it sucked and the two days after sucked. But it passed. I'm a tough SOB. Hope I can stay that way.

Thankfully I have a long weekend in Hamburg starting Friday.
 
monkeybarry said:
Had a pretty bad weekend.
Had a huge suicidal panic attack. Pole axed me in bed shaking for about four hours. Genuinely considered taking myself to a&e at one point as I felt like a danger to myself.
Ended by puking my guts up.

The annoying thing is, it wouldn't have been so bad if I had someone to give me a hug when it happened.

You hear stories that suicide is a slow burner and builds up over time. A bit worried about that now. But at least I managed to "trust the rational version of myself" and let it pass. Yeah it sucked and the two days after sucked. But it passed. I'm a tough SOB. Hope I can stay that way.

Thankfully I have a long weekend in Hamburg starting Friday.
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Phuck, sorry to hear your troubles there mate. Good work on coming back up from under the water though.
 
nayimfromthehalfwayline said:
Any idea what triggered it?
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I think energy leaches and unpredictability.

Had house viewings for a new housemate on wed (and unexpectedly drank a bottle of wine in an hour) and Thur (had to cancel something I wanted to do to fit this in).
Fri went to check out Lumiere and ran into an old friend who I purposefully kept minimal contact with and he wanted to talk. he is quite full on.. and had a couple of drinks.
Then saturday met a friend for brunch and also met alot of new people, which was nice but takes alot of energy.

And winter is hard for me.
And Saturday was exactly two years since it first hit me - so I was expecting some kind of low.
Worst, and scariest, day I've had for over a year. But it's done now.
 
Ah brick mate, Im sorry to hear that.

I had hoped it would be an easily defined thing, something you could then take steps to try and cope with/tackle.

Sounds more like a series of really bricky things adding up, much harder to quantify.

Ultimately you survived, you are here, and thats amazing - like you said its done now. Maybe a chance to look ahead rather than dwell?
 
monkeybarry said:
Had a pretty bad weekend.
Had a huge suicidal panic attack. Pole axed me in bed shaking for about four hours. Genuinely considered taking myself to a&e at one point as I felt like a danger to myself.
Ended by puking my guts up.

The annoying thing is, it wouldn't have been so bad if I had someone to give me a hug when it happened.

You hear stories that suicide is a slow burner and builds up over time. A bit worried about that now. But at least I managed to "trust the rational version of myself" and let it pass. Yeah it sucked and the two days after sucked. But it passed. I'm a tough SOB. Hope I can stay that way.

Thankfully I have a long weekend in Hamburg starting Friday.
Click to expand...


Ah brick i am sorry to hear of your problems buddy.

If the is anything i can do PM me.

Word of warning be careful in Hamburg, long time since i been there but the port area was full of drugs and wild sex clubs.

If your mental state is a bit iffy then keep clear of drugs and drink because you might do something silly. Wishing you the best.
 
nayimfromthehalfwayline said:
Ah brick mate, Im sorry to hear that.

I had hoped it would be an easily defined thing, something you could then take steps to try and cope with/tackle.

Sounds more like a series of really bricky things adding up, much harder to quantify.

Ultimately you survived, you are here, and thats amazing - like you said its done now. Maybe a chance to look ahead rather than dwell?
Click to expand...
That's a bit of an odd take on things - I was reading it the opposite way... rather than one sudden surprise that caused it... it was a sequence of lots of individual, avoidable situations that he can avoid in future. Very 'treatable'.
 
monkeybarry said:
Had a pretty bad weekend.
Had a huge suicidal panic attack. Pole axed me in bed shaking for about four hours. Genuinely considered taking myself to a&e at one point as I felt like a danger to myself.
Ended by puking my guts up.

The annoying thing is, it wouldn't have been so bad if I had someone to give me a hug when it happened.

You hear stories that suicide is a slow burner and builds up over time. A bit worried about that now. But at least I managed to "trust the rational version of myself" and let it pass. Yeah it sucked and the two days after sucked. But it passed. I'm a tough SOB. Hope I can stay that way.

Thankfully I have a long weekend in Hamburg starting Friday.
Click to expand...

Mate, are you seeing a professional?

Can you get an emergency / crisis appointment?

Talking here is great and hopefully you’ve got people you can talk to face to face, but I’d imagine supplementing that with professional medical help would be good.

Good luck, and take it easy.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
Ah brick i am sorry to hear of your problems buddy.

If the is anything i can do PM me.

Word of warning be careful in Hamburg, long time since i been there but the port area was full of drugs and wild sex clubs.

If your mental state is a bit iffy then keep clear of drugs and drink because you might do something silly. Wishing you the best.
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...but wild German sex clubs are A OK! :cool:

@mokeybarry totally get the time of year thing. Can be tough these couple of months. As with many on here, more than happy to have a chat, hook up for a coffee, whatever. You're not alone. Plenty of bored crazy fukers around on here! Reach out if and when you're down. Easier said than done I know, but give it a shot. Will PM you. Hope you have a nice break, I'm sure you'll feel refreshed from the break...and wild sex clubs!
 
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Hotshot-Tottenham said:
Mate, are you seeing a professional?

Can you get an emergency / crisis appointment?

Talking here is great and hopefully you’ve got people you can talk to face to face, but I’d imagine supplementing that with professional medical help would be good.

Good luck, and take it easy.
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I have in the past. But not currently.
I got to a point where I felt stable and just needed time to unpick alot of things before I can address them with a counselor.

It's one of my top priorities after my holiday.
I partly just have to be patient, I have about five years worth of stuff to unpick. And patience is a big part of that.
 
Thank you everyone for your kind words and concern. It really is appreciated.

Going to a Werder Bremen game and Stereophonics gig whilst in Germany - two of my favourite things!

I shall come back from Hamburg with a camera of awesome photos and an STD
 
Bullet said:
That's a bit of an odd take on things - I was reading it the opposite way... rather than one sudden surprise that caused it... it was a sequence of lots of individual, avoidable situations that he can avoid in future. Very 'treatable'.
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Kind of both and neither.

Just alot of things that all came at once. Some were choice, some necessary.
A bit like throwing lots of pebbles at a window. A massive rock will break it. Lots of little pebbles will break it eventually, but it takes until the last little pebble.

I'm feeling pretty good right now.
It was quite an unexpected event.
I think there is an element that this will happen sometimes and is something I have to live with. That will take years to learn. But I'm pretty good at managing things that I know about! It's the things that come out of the blue that I really struggle with.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
Ah brick i am sorry to hear of your problems buddy.

If the is anything i can do PM me.

Word of warning be careful in Hamburg, long time since i been there but the port area was full of drugs and wild sex clubs.

If your mental state is a bit iffy then keep clear of drugs and drink because you might do something silly. Wishing you the best.
Click to expand...


What about the wild sex? :p
 
Bullet said:
That's a bit of an odd take on things - I was reading it the opposite way... rather than one sudden surprise that caused it... it was a sequence of lots of individual, avoidable situations that he can avoid in future. Very 'treatable'.
Click to expand...

Practically, yes, probably.

As it happens though things can just get up on top of you, once you start to go under the obvious solutions/responses dont always present themselves, do they?
 
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