Lemonade Money
Les Medley
I nearly had a threesome last night.
All I needed were two other people.
All I needed were two other people.
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Brand new Joke thread (Not all PC)
- Thread starter Roy1983
- Start date
Lemonade Money
Les Medley
A Scotsman and his wife walked past a stossy new restaurant.
"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "It smells absolutely incredible!"
Being a kind hearted Scotsman, he thought "What the hell, I'll treat her"
So they walked past it again!
"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "It smells absolutely incredible!"
Being a kind hearted Scotsman, he thought "What the hell, I'll treat her"
So they walked past it again!
glasgowspur
Luka Modric
Seems to me a lot of negative Scots stories/jokes/banter going on atm on here.
You need to burn a few buildings and steal some trainers. Call yourself SLM and you'll get away with it.
Baleforce
Arthur Rowe
I think it’s a stretch to use the work “joke” in a lot of cases.
glasgowspur
Luka Modric
Was being kind, one the Scottish stereotypes you never hear of.
NoLimits01
Goran Bunjevcevic
I think for it to be called a stereotype it has to be a widely held image or idea of a particular type of person or thing
glasgowspur
Luka Modric
Of course we are kind, we gave the world,
The telephone
Tv
Penicillin
Steam power
The bbc
Pneumatic tyres
Tarmac
Iron ships
Atms
Cast steel
Wire rope
Dolly the sheep
Susan boyle
Chloroform
Medical ultrasound
Insulin
Beta blockers
Refrigerator
Flush toilet
Bovril
Sherlock holmes
Richard hannay
Encyclopedia Britainnica
Peter pan
Jekyll and Hyde
Long John silver
Modern economics
The bank of England
Golf
Dave mackay
Billy connelly
Deep Friday everything
Heart disease (OK we didn't invent it, but we've perfected it)
The bay city rollers
Grounds keeper Willie
Tractor beams
Chief engineer scotty
But best of all and only just discovered @scaramanga
If it wasn't all a plot to keep us down then our kindness to world would have us held up as the colossus we are!
FFS.
JerusalemMan
Chris Perry
Also works for Yorkshiremen
glasgowspur
Luka Modric
That was the Irish, along with their dodgy "whiskey".
It can also be spelled "Drunkards' slop"
NoLimits01
Goran Bunjevcevic
Not a good combo
glasgowspur
Luka Modric
Susan Boyle was only in to make sure you were still paying attention. One brings the other to mind though.
Could have been worse.
Bullet
Andy Thompson
Who and what the actual flip are you talking about?
Rock Strongo
dodgy Dave Goosegog
thfcsteff
George Hunt
Man goes into a pub.
"Can I have the wifi password?"
"Have to buy a pint first."
"OK...a pint of Guinness please."
"Got it. That'll be 4.50."
OK, thanks. Here ya go...now, can I get the wifi password?"
"Have to buy a pint first, capital 'H' the rest lower case no spacing."
"Can I have the wifi password?"
"Have to buy a pint first."
"OK...a pint of Guinness please."
"Got it. That'll be 4.50."
OK, thanks. Here ya go...now, can I get the wifi password?"
"Have to buy a pint first, capital 'H' the rest lower case no spacing."