I’m somewhat surprised at the level of indifference or hostility that has greeted the prospect of Mauricio Pochettino being the next Spurs manager. The only way I can rationalise it is by making this analogy…
You are an adolescent boy, desperate to find love. Mauricio Pochettino is the girl-next-door – familiar to the point where you tend to overlook quite how attractive she is. OK, at a glance her face may look a bit plain, but her bone structure is good, everything is where it should be, and to be fair she hasn’t really had any top level make-up to work with yet.
Carlo Ancelotti is the supermodel whose poster you have on your bedroom wall – completely unattainable, yet you still hold fantasies about somehow, someday being with her, to the point where you are prepared to turn your nose up at real opportunities for love with real girls. As if that alone didn’t make saving yourself for her unrealistic enough, she’s also currently dating a movie star who has just won his 10th Oscar.
Frank De Boer is the lass with a bit of a ‘reputation’ who hangs around behind the bike sheds – never shy of talking herself up, she’s pretty much a sure thing, but there’s this nagging feeling that it wouldn’t be long term: she’d quickly move on once she’d had her way with you, or you’d decide it wasn’t really fulfilling and end things by mutual consent with a legally-binding non-disclosure agreement and a £3million pay off.
Then there’s Rafa Benitez, your hot cousin. If she wasn’t tainted by being so closely associated with another family not a million miles from your own, you probably wouldn’t say no. But, as it stands, it would surely feel wrong, and you’d be worried about what people would say. Also, the genetics are a bit risky, so your kids may end up looking like Dirk Kuyt.
Anyone with even a cursory knowledge of teen movies can see that your best bet is the girl next door. She’ll end up scrubbing up well for the prom, and when the school uber-jock muscles in to dance with her, you’ll suddenly realise that you loved her all along. The sooner we Spurs fans accept and embrace that Pochettino is ‘the one’, the sooner we can stroll off into the sunset and live happily ever after. For 18 months.