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Dating sites...

GinolaGinolaGinola said:
I dunno man, today I got mixed signals. I messaged her on FB and said "cant believe u have fridays off!" she replied "im actually working today" so i responded with "what you doing tonight?" nothing for half hour so i then said, as Im in london and wanted to know if your about tonight but that was at like 11am and she didnt respond and still hasnt!

She did say on Wednesday we might see each other out friday or sat but we would deffo do something next week but nothing is pencilled in ie an actual day.

I dont want to now go from being cool to being too keen. fudge women are crazy!!!
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ah FB chat can be a bit evil sometimes and I've often found that you can get the wrong meaning from what someone's meant to say fairly easily.

I think if she'd already said she was out on friday and saturday in a conversation before but not specifically invited you it might have came across like you were prying a bit, to be fair I think DFS has got a point in waiting, probably not a week but maybe lying low till Monday (unless she contacts you) and then calling/texting (whichever you prefer) saying you hope she had a boss weekend and seeing if she fancies doing something on the wednesday, if she'd mentioned wednesday as a possible day for you to do something together hopefully she'll still have it free. Via the FB chat you may have come on a tad strong but you haven't blown it as the above post would suggest, just take it easy and see what's going on in a couple of days.

It'd also be good to have something in mind as to what you want to do, to be fair to DFS again, the zoo is genuinely a good shout but I imagine you're both busy through the day, but just come up with something that sounds fun and not too serious. In an ideal world, she'll have had a pretty average weekend in some scraggy clubs getting hit on by scraggy dingdongheads, so when you pop back up on the radar on Monday with an invitation to something that sounds fun she'll be really positive about the idea.

Or, instead of all that, write her a love letter in your blood, chicks dig that brick.
 
DHSF said:
Dude - you need to be cool about all this. Its so easy to be paranoid about things (I still do get para) but ultimately dont show it. You need to not talk to this girl for a while but its evident that if she doesnt start a convo with you you get all a bit ;in your head' and succumb to temptation by talking to her on FB.

Firstly do not talk to her on FB. Secondly do not text her. Thirdly do not talk to her everyday. First thing - call her and say to her 'this saturday you n me going to the zoo' or something. But you need to wait a week or two n chill out. I would wait a week or two unless she talks to me first then act aloof. then following day I would say what I just said in terms of takin her out. (Trust me the zoo is brilliant - you can use a lot of animal sex facts n brick - fudgein brilliant)

You been through a tough time so im sure that is playing a part as it comes across as kinda desperado.
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i ruined it. got drunk. text her 3 times told her how i feel. nil point. lets leave it at that.

NEXT
 
GinolaGinolaGinola said:
i ruined it. got drunk. text her 3 times told her how i feel. nil point. lets leave it at that.

NEXT
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You did? dude you cant do that - thats verging on stalkerish. Its obvious that your past relationship affected this 'clingy' side of you and it hurts your ego etc hence the constant texts to this girl. You learn from it and onto the next girly etc You never know this girl may end up being in contact with you first when you dont talk to her for a while.
 
I know guys . I've definitely gone backwards on this one so DHSF you are right I'm not going to contact her for at least a week.

Thing is guys i am down at the moment, I miss my ex and am clingy looking for someone to be with when I shouldn't.

Last night I went out with a couple of mates til like 8pm got off the train and my mate went home. I had no one to drink with, no one to do anything with as most of my mates are either married or have gfs and babies etc.

I know it will get better and I say I have this great life, but really I don't. I'm a good looking guy I get told so everything will be ok people say but I don't know when it will get better. Last week when I took this girl out I felt great, now I feel rubbish but I'm sure when I go down the pub today with about 10 mates etc ill feel great but later on ill feel down I know it.

I do think there is a bit of depression there, not enough for me to take work off etc but enough to make me just do nothing on a Sunday for example and just sit in my flat.
 
Fcuk it. I'm going to not let women rule my life.

It's obviously getting me down but if I have the mindset that it will be ok and I don't need someone right now it will come.

Need to get busier and go gym not mope about. Enjoy myself and not worry.
 
Spend time on improving your life outside of a relationship. If you can improve your career, your health, get in shape, start reading or another passion that you've always considered then now is the time to do so. Not only will you improve your life but you'll become more of a catch for women in future AND at the moment you have the time to give focus to those areas of your life. That is what I'm taking care of right now.
 
I think too that you need to let your ex go, until you do so you will always be looking for a replacement. You will feel those clingy tendencies plus probably latch on to women who give you the slightest interest merely because you want there to be something there.

When the time is right, when you meet a new woman, treat her as her and try to leave all comparisons with your ex behind. A new woman will, obviously, be different but for all the parts of your ex that you will miss, there will be sides to the new woman that you'll appreciate and were not with your ex.

Lastly, enjoy yourself, don't beat yourself up over mistakes, we all make them. Just move on and do what you can.
 
yeh definitely, thats some good advice. Need to love myself first before someone else can.

Maybe I can take up my golf that I've been meaning to do. I've got all the gear, but a little idea. I'm also joining a new gym in December when it opens, and my work is getting better as I had this operation to sort out some anxiety issues I had where I would sweat around the face, I will tell you guys about it another time maybe, but that has made me massively confident in front of people so it will get better I know.
 
Yeah definitely take up your golf or another hobby to fill some time on the weekends. Hit the gym hard (3/4 times a week) for the months before the summer, then you're ready to go and look for girls then? Try and enjoy single life now I guess
 
Ah well. She text me tonight without me messaging her and she said she thinks we should leave it as she only wants mates so we shouldn't see each other again and then left it at "you will find someone special as you are a nice guy"

fudge that then

Forgot to tell you she had been seeing Jon obi mikel but she didnt like him and he was all over her
 
Went on POF for awhile, had a couple of dates and a few one night stands. Not a bad site at all, gets a bit boring answering the same questions over and over, also a few crazy stalker type ladies about.
 
wn7ian said:
Went on POF for awhile, had a couple of dates and a few one night stands. Not a bad site at all, gets a bit boring answering the same questions over and over, also a few crazy stalker type ladies about.
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You go mate haha...

It does get boring as you say answering the same questions but I guess ultimately if you get her number straight away (within the first five to ten messages) you can move away from that and into the date territory. I dont like dating sites simply because some girls do wanna chat for AGES and where is the mystery in getting to know someone in person.
 
Woah haven't been on this thread in a while. Shame it all went a bit wrong Mr Ginola x3, drunk texts and facebook chats have been the end of many a promising thing. Personally I think it's better to stay away from this kind of communication apart from arranging dates etc, as the sofa salesman says, messaging constantly in the internet or whatever is quite dull compared to getting to know someone in person. Good advice from Guep and PLJ here.
 
DHSF said:
You go mate haha...

It does get boring as you say answering the same questions but I guess ultimately if you get her number straight away (within the first five to ten messages) you can move away from that and into the date territory. I dont like dating sites simply because some girls do wanna chat for AGES and where is the mystery in getting to know someone in person.
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I found it the opposite, too many give their numbers too quickly! then you end up with the text tennis...and why didn't you reply flimflam! I prefer the old fashioned way, fudging mobile phones, apps and tinternet!
 
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