I'd get the best lawyer/agent money can buy. Get a fantastically lucrative contract, weighted in my favour, with no penalty clauses for being rubbish, or leaving early.
Then, when I got sacked a few weeks/months later, now that I'm a 'manager/coach', I'd appear on a few football shows as a pundit, dispensing my wisdom/platitudes. "It's all about attitude", "they have to show it on the training ground", they need to give everything for the 90 minutes", "It's all about desire", "if you want me to feature in that ad, see my agent" etc.
And then, with the help of my well paid lawyer/agent join another club. Rinse and repeat.