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The poo & guff thread...

Been having wet and flakey brick for about a year now.
Finally got around to the Dr and doing a stool sample - was like scooping a half metled peanut butter milkshake that had been dropped in water, and using one of those crappy plastic spoons you get with small ice cream pots.....
 
monkeybarry said:
Been having wet and flakey brick for about a year now.
Finally got around to the Dr and doing a stool sample - was like scooping a half metled peanut butter milkshake that had been dropped in water, and using one of those crappy plastic spoons you get with small ice cream pots.....
Click to expand...

Stool samples are horrible. I had to give one too. I held an old empty takeaway Tupperware box under me to brick in to. The brick was a mixture of diarrhoea and stodgy pasty mess. I then had to somehow move the contents from there in to the tube. Horrible! Good luck with your sample.
 
We're bidding on an apartment at the moment, and I'm almost bricking myself. Cup final nerves!
 
Just finished squizing out a fudging massive brick of a turd. Now I know how it feels to get fisted. Without any lubrication! It felt like it was made of concrete. Seriously, I never knew a turd could cause such excruciating pain!
On the plus side, it was a one wiper...
 
Kandi1977 said:
Just finished squizing out a fudging massive brick of a turd. Now I know how it feels to get fisted. Without any lubrication! It felt like it was made of concrete. Seriously, I never knew a turd could cause such excruciating pain!
On the plus side, it was a one wiper...
Click to expand...

On the contrary, I’m having a lot of “40 wipers” of note, so annoying, I think i need to get my “cutters” sharpened.
 
I've been experimenting with intermittent fasting. I fast for 16 hours and have an 8 hour window to eat what I like. (typically skip breakfast and eat from noon - 8pm)

My stools lately have been firm with little wiping, with a few 'phantom' dumps.

Could get used to this.
 
I went out at lunch today and had 3 pints and some really hot and spicy pizza

Sat on my train home and started farting a lot, really quiet but it smelt like raw sewage, so so bad

Anyhow I must have dropped a good 5 or 10 before people started to notice, one women opposite me said out loud that she thought we had gone past a sewage or treatment factory, then somebody else said it must be the toilet on the train

The coupe de grace was after the train had stopped a bloke got on and sat next to me, he sniffled his nose up and then started writing a text about how much the train and his seat reeked

Hahahahahaha, I literally couldn't stop laughing
 
markysimmo said:
I went out at lunch today and had 3 pints and some really hot and spicy pizza

Sat on my train home and started farting a lot, really quiet but it smelt like raw sewage, so so bad

Anyhow I must have dropped a good 5 or 10 before people started to notice, one women opposite me said out loud that she thought we had gone past a sewage or treatment factory, then somebody else said it must be the toilet on the train

The coupe de grace was after the train had stopped a bloke got on and sat next to me, he sniffled his nose up and then started writing a text about how much the train and his seat reeked

Hahahahahaha, I literally couldn't stop laughing
Click to expand...

Are u sure he wasn't texting the geezer next to him smelt like a cesspit?
 
I have had quite a few dumps lately that have been relatively small but the wipeage comes out about half an inch thick. And lots of it.

fudging annoying
 
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