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The poo & guff thread...

I'm so proud, I feel like i've found a golden ticket and 10lb lighter at the same time. Never have I seen such a magical chocolate rainbow, Willy Wonka would be taking notes. I very much doubt there's a pot of gold at the end of this one though. I'm praying no one calls at the house for the next 45 minutes.

Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three.

Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of pure devastation. Take a look and you'll see into your suffocation.
We'll begin, with a spin, traveling in the world of my creation, what we'll see, will defy explanatiooonnnn.
 
Mumorn said:
Just poo'd water. Awesome.
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Bug or a curry/beer session yesterday?

I had a 24 hour bug the other yeah that made me brick water. Never has the "it went straight through me" line been more appropriate. I could drink half a pint of water and 60 seconds later it was coming out my arsehole. The exact same amount aswell because I brick in a measuring jug - I was curious
 
Bug. Stomach ache all day. Went twice in about 30 minutes. Hardly anything to wipe neither.
 
Unbelievable.
So, I had a curry sandwich yesterday (nanwich - naan bread with chicken curry) after playing (scored a hat-trick BTW) and found myself sitting down early the next morning for a routine 'currified' evacuation. It felt like it was a proper curried-brick, complete with sticky residue-on-arse-hairs feeling...after a relaxing brick, I moved in for the clean-up and...a ghost! Nothing! Nary a thin, light light brown smidge of evidence to be seen. thinking I must've missed a massive sludgefest, I wiped from several angles and again came up clean! I can also report that later that day, there were NO skidders in my underwear and no sticky-clinkers looking for removal later.
A genuine mystery of Twilight Zone proportions!!!!
 
thfcsteff said:
Unbelievable.
So, I had a curry sandwich yesterday (nanwich - naan bread with chicken curry) after playing (scored a hat-trick BTW) and found myself sitting down early the next morning for a routine 'currified' evacuation. It felt like it was a proper curried-brick, complete with sticky residue-on-arse-hairs feeling...after a relaxing brick, I moved in for the clean-up and...a ghost! Nothing! Nary a thin, light light brown smidge of evidence to be seen. thinking I must've missed a massive sludgefest, I wiped from several angles and again came up clean! I can also report that later that day, there were NO skidders in my underwear and no sticky-clinkers looking for removal later.
A genuine mystery of Twilight Zone proportions!!!!
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Massive result. Curry bricks usually require at least 2 flushes because the pan has been filled up with bog roll
 
On that note,has anyone ever put slightly too much bog roll down the pan after a 20 wiper and the water has gone over the edge?
 
It's when it stops with about a 2 inch gap at the top and you have a chance to play Flushian Roulette. Give it another go and wait for the water to rise hoping for it to flush before it makes a mess of your socks. I've always been lucky enough to win so far but not without one or two scares.
 
Dayo said:
It's when it stops with about a 2 inch gap at the top and you have a chance to play Flushian Roulette. Give it another go and wait for the water to rise hoping for it to flush before it makes a mess of your socks. I've always been lucky enough to win so far but not without one or two scares.
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:ross:

'Flushian roulette'...is that from the Profanersaurus or are you, in fact, a genius?

My GHod that's funny...:ross:
 
What's everyone's dump timings? I'm regular as clockwork 7am each day. With a possible follow up around 9-ish dependant on my activities the night before. On the rare occasion I drop a log in the evening, it just feels wrong
 
thfcsteff said:
:ross:

'Flushian roulette'...is that from the Profanersaurus or are you, in fact, a genius?

My GHod that's funny...:ross:
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Thought of it as I was typing the post out, was going to go with poolette bu didn't want to over do the pun :lol:
 
So in the last 8 days i've been once, and that was on Wednesday. So either i'm eating less or I'm going to be building a dam the next time I go.

tLsXN.gif
 
Just got 50 shades of brown for christmas. Must have been all the celebrations and matchmakers I ate last night.
 
Didn't poo all-day yesterday, despite eating for 3 men and having more gas than the North Sea. Woke up this morning and let forth the Kraken right away. No mess. Simple, effective (with a courtesy flush), two wipes and job done.

Thanks Xmas turkey.
 
I've been pooing so much over the holidays that I think I've probably lost weight. One thing I dont understand though is that the first time that I went to toilet today, I didn't really need to wipe. I went again later on and had to wipe so many times that I was building a paper Pyramid inside the toilet, what's that about?!
 
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