As per AnthonyG's suggestion, here I am.
First, let's take the Manchester clubs out of the process. The Fergie bastards will win the League, because they have the one player that matters: Mike Riley. City will finish 2nd.
That leaves 4 clubs going for 2 Champions League spots. Here's the table as it currently stands:
3. Tottenham 54
4. Chelsea 52
5. Arsenal 47
6. Everton 45
There are 10 League games to go for each of them, with a potential 30 points:
Arsenal should beat Reading, Fulham, QPR and Wigan. Saudi Sportswashing Machine will stick in the memory because of the Phil Dowd Game, but we'll win there. West Brom away is a banana-peel game, but they're not as good as they were earlier in the season, so that's another win. Either or Norwich could be trouble, either could be a draw; I'm calling Norwich a draw but saying we'll beat Everton. Swansea away should be trouble, but if we start Koscielny instead of Vermaelen, we could hold Michu back, and get at least a draw. And, of course, there's no way we will be allowed to beat Man U, not even at home. 7 wins, 2 draws, 1 loss: 23 points.
Tottenham will beat Fulham, Wigan and Southampton. But Liverpool, Everton, Stoke and Sunderland will all be trouble. I'd be surprised if they got wins in even 2 of those, in fact I'm saying they'll win 1, probably Sunderland. They will lose away to Chelsea and Swansea and home to Emirates Marketing Project. 4 wins, 3 draws, 3 losses: 15 points.
Chelsea: Fulham away, West Ham home, Southampton away, Sunderland home, Tottenham home, Liverpool away, Swansea home, Man U away, Aston Villa away, Everton home. Honestly, I can't see Chelsea losing any of those, except Man U away. Maybe Liverpool will forge a draw at Anfield. 8 wins, 1 draw, 1 loss: 25 points.
Everton will beat Stoke, QPR, Fulham and West Ham at home, pull off a shocker away to Liverpool (surprises abound in the Merseyside Derby), and draw away to Tottenham and Sunderland; and lose to Arsenal and Chelsea away, and Emirates Marketing Project at home. 5 wins, 2 draws, 3 losses: 17 points.
3. Chelsea 77
4. Arsenal 70
5. Tottenham 69
6. Everton 62
So there it is: May 19, the last day of the season, is St. Totteringham's Day.
I was right last year: I said Arsenal would finish in the Top 4 and ahead of Tottenham, and I was right. I will be right again this year. Just call me Ezra Klein.