Tomorrow: We win against Bolton. 10 points.
This weekend: We beat Blackburn and they lose to Liverpool. 7 points.
February 11: We beat Sunderland and Saudi Sportswashing Machine nicks a draw. 5 points. How's it look now?
February 26: We win the derby. 2 points. How's it look now?
March 3-4: We beat Liverpool, they lose to United. Bingo, we lead by 1 point.
March 10-12: They lose to Everton, we beat Saudi Sportswashing Machine. Us by 4.
March 17: We beat Everton, they beat Stoke. Us by 4.
March 24: We beat Villa, they lose at Chelsea. Us by 7.
March 31-April 1: We beat QPR, they beat Swansea. Us by 7.
April 7: We beat Emirates Marketing Project at home, they get only a draw at Sunderland. Us by 9.
April 9: This could be a banana peel game for us, at Wolves. But it could also be one for The Scum, as they host surprsing Norwich. Us by 9.
April 14: We beat Wigan, they beat Bolton. Us by 9.
April 21: We beat Chelsea at home (why not, we beat them on the road and we'll be healthier than we were then), they only get a draw at QPR. Us by 10, and there's 9 points left to be won. Happy St. Totteringham's Day.
April 28: We may only get a draw at Stoke, and they'll beat Blackburn -- but you never know, Blackburn won at United. Us by 10.
May 5: We beat Norwich, and they lose at Villa. Us by 13.
May 13: Season finale, we win at West Brom, they win home to Fulham. Us by 13.
We finish 3rd, and don't need a qualifying round for the Champions League. They finish 7th, and Harry and all their macaron fans say, "Wha happened?"