'Andre, come on in. You're doing well, I hope?'
'My personal status is highly progressive, and..I am looking forward to the propositions that will emerge from this discussion project.'
'We call them meetings, Andre.'
'Meeting project. Very good name, looking forward.'
'Sigh. Well, we called you in here because we have some bad news for you; you can't sign Joao Moutinho.'
'But he is crucial to the success of the project...he facilitates good developments in the final third of the grass-covered performance zone!'
'Yes, we know, but...unfortunately, the fans don't agree. But don't worry they're debating as we speak and we hope to have a new man in by the week-end.'
'What is his nomenclature, and what position does he occupy on the tactical deployment area?'
'Erm...currently, their names are Lucas Biglia, Arda Turan, Thomas Muller, Leandro Damiao, Ganso, Willian, Yohan Cabaye, Gaston Ramirez, Nuri Sahin, Alvaro Negredo, Roberto Soldado, Marvin Martin, Xavi, Iniesta, Yann Kermogant, Andy King and Arcspace's best mate Stanley, judging by the last viewing we've had of the poll. But don't worry, I'm sure they'll decide before the week-end.'