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Moussa Sissoko

He'd pull off a mask revealing it was Eriksen Scooby-Doo style.
Like when Utd had twins on their books and the good one was banned. The brick one played in his place and just happened the be as good as his brother for one match only
 
The universe would have imploded with a glitch in the space-time continuum of that scale.
There are things in between Sissoko scoring a volley like that and a sudden implosion of the universe in terms of probability. I won't hold my breath for either happening any time soon though.

I prefer having players where the probability of a goal like that can be compared with more likely events, like me winning the lottery.
 
I have admit, I had said to my mate last night that if Sissoko scored, I would film an apology from him post-match. As he connected with the ball there was that split second of hope...before we ALL just roared with laughter. Genuine laughter. And I though other than the 4th goal (which, BTW, Lloris can own part of too, launch the fudging ball with two mins left) he played well for him.
 
I have admit, I had said to my mate last night that if Sissoko scored, I would film an apology from him post-match. As he connected with the ball there was that split second of hope...before we ALL just roared with laughter. Genuine laughter. And I though other than the 4th goal (which, BTW, Lloris can own part of too, launch the fudging ball with two mins left) he played well for him.

Yeah I thought he actually did okay the other night. The volley was comical though. There is not a player in our squad that I'd have had less confidence in to score that. Once I realised he was about to hit it, all hope was lost and it was just a matter of seeing how badly he'd f**k it up. He did so spectacularly in the end.

Although he was okay, he really is an awful footballer. I can't believe he was Levy's signing and for £30 million in a market that was yet to really explode. F**k me, how bad does Levy think Jack Grealish is that he only offered £25m?
 
Yeah I thought he actually did okay the other night. The volley was comical though. There is not a player in our squad that I'd have had less confidence in to score that. Once I realised he was about to hit it, all hope was lost and it was just a matter of seeing how badly he'd f**k it up. He did so spectacularly in the end.

Although he was okay, he really is an awful footballer. I can't believe he was Levy's signing and for £30 million in a market that was yet to really explode. F**k me, how bad does Levy think Jack Grealish is that he only offered £25m?
That's what's really scary. If we'd just bought a player who could have kept up with inflation we could now sell that player for £60M and replace them with someone of squad quality.

If we get our £30M back I'll be surprised and even if we do, who can you get for £30M now? A Sissoko?
 
That's what's really scary. If we'd just bought a player who could have kept up with inflation we could now sell that player for £60M and replace them with someone of squad quality.

If we get our £30M back I'll be surprised and even if we do, who can you get for £30M now? A Sissoko?


You think there is another one out there? Playing professional football?? :eek::eek::eek:
 
That's what's really scary. If we'd just bought a player who could have kept up with inflation we could now sell that player for £60M and replace them with someone of squad quality.

If we get our £30M back I'll be surprised and even if we do, who can you get for £30M now? A Sissoko?

It would be the greatest window work of Levy's career. Admit it.
 
He actually had a decent game today, even by a regular footballer's standards. Not amazing, but it was alright. I'll take it.
 
Sorry, siss, but have to post this. :p


To be fair to siss, its a very tough ball to keep down, I reckon a lot of other players would sky it as well.

I have to say though, one thing is to talk a player down online - I'm not a fan of fans laughing at a player at a match. Doesn't exactly help your player or the team.

I would be less concerned with that miss and focus more on the jumping spinning balerina move he did when trying to receive the ball in the build up to barcas fourth goal.

I believe the ball bounced off his ass in the end, making him directly attributable for the fourth goal and killing off our chance of a comeback.

And yesterday I lost count of the amount of times he either passed to the opposition or passed to no one at all, under little pressure. Some of these were also in dangerous positions, gifting Cardiff potential chances to score.

And because he pulled of a few successful passes and got in behind a couple of times from trips passes, we are told he had a good game.

By his own unique scoring system he gets a 7 and by the universal scoring system he gets a 5.
 
I would be less concerned with that miss and focus more on the jumping spinning balerina move he did when trying to receive the ball in the build up to barcas fourth goal.

I believe the ball bounced off his ass in the end, making him directly attributable for the fourth goal and killing off our chance of a comeback.

And yesterday I lost count of the amount of times he either passed to the opposition or passed to no one at all, under little pressure. Some of these were also in dangerous positions, gifting Cardiff potential chances to score.

And because he pulled of a few successful passes and got in behind a couple of times from trips passes, we are told he had a good game.

By his own unique scoring system he gets a 7 and by the universal scoring system he gets a 5.
Got in behind and made nothing of any of it. I only started watching from about 30 mins in, but I think he gave the ball away every time he got in behind.

An athlete, not a footballer.
 
i read that he received a warm standing ovation on his subsititution at the cardiff game. good fans! we won, nothing to lose with a bit of generosity.
 
Got in behind and made nothing of any of it. I only started watching from about 30 mins in, but I think he gave the ball away every time he got in behind.

An athlete, not a footballer.

It must be sad to not be able to rate players objectively. What’s the harm in giving credit where it’s due? Most of the people at the game yesterday were able to see the performance he gave. Why can’t you?

I think he was a 7 yesterday, and not a ‘Sissoko scale 7’, but just a good solid 7. And it was probably one of his best games for us in terms of his ability in possession. He gave the ball away a couple of times, but so does every player. Particularly in the modern game when most teams, even Cardiff, will have periods of pressuring in the high press. I saw Toby give the ball straight to a Cardiff player when trying to play out from the back. It isn’t ideal, but doesn’t mean we have to hold it against Toby or that it proves he’s an athlete not a footballer, it’s just more common in the modern game.

I also saw Sissoko lay on plenty of chances for his team mates yesterday. One in particular he got Son free in the box who proceeded to sky it over (hahahaha let’s all laugh at him!) But regardless, the more creative passes the closer to the goal are always the least likely to complete, because they just will be the hardest. Every other attacking player also tried to play others in the box yesterday and also wouldn’t have completed it. But because it’s Sissoko, you call it ‘giving it away’ rather than what it actually is.

And again, if people actually watch him objectively, there’s plenty of times he receives the in tight spaces and retains possession by getting it on to a teammate. It sounds simple but it’s something he is routinely accused of not being able to do. The difference yesterday was that he was actually pretty decent in the final third, when he is usually better suited to the middle third. But he still gets the athlete derision, probably because of how he started with us over 2 years ago. He isn’t the best with the ball, but a lot players that play deep also aren’t actually that good, when compared to the players that play in attack. Of course, some of the deep lying playmakers are, but that isn’t Sissoko’s game. There are some things Dier does better than Sissoko, but there’s also some things in possession Sissoko does better.

Just wish we could have some balance for a player that works hard, doesn’t complain despite being a back up, and does his job to a decent standard more often than not.
 
Sissoko was a 6
He plays football like an athletic defensive midfield who gets continually played on the right to stifle the opposition.
He is an awkward bugger to love but he’s our awkward bugger :rolleyes:
 
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I must say how strange it is for someone alledgedly so bad that in a lot of games Sissoko plays you get several ‘He was actually decent today’ type comments. Maybe just maybe, he’s actually a half decent player who does a steady job overall when called upon overall. What an outrageous thought....
 
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