still here, still smiling
just trying to picture the AHB football team, Wriggly's Wanderers v Moonlit Albion
+5 Mins Dismissal. Wriggly sent off for 5 studs up challenges, 2 on his own side, 1 count of manslaughter and an arson attack on the crowd. Two referees assistants had to be hospitalised and the 4th official has been admitted into psychiatric care.
+9 Minutes Wanderers go 8-0 up against Albion, who are playing a 4-0-0 formation with a rush goalie, who, sadly, succumbed to his wounds in Wrigglys rocket attack in the 3rd minute. The keepers corpse has been tied upside down to the crossbar by his feet, and is still thought to be a better keeper than Marton Fulop.
+11 Minutes and Leeds is finally sent off when caught feeding Raboner into a wood chipper. Albion now down to 3 concede another 4 goals
+15 Billyiddo carried off after a vicious sliding tackle from the moonlit Knight, who was Knighted by African, who finally has come down off the fence.
+38 Cooper receives a yellow for baiting the opposition, having stuck a large fishhook up Paklanes arse and dumped him in the atlantic
HALF time comes as Milo slides through a ruck of players to knock in the first Albion goal from a DHSF's cross. The two teams leave the pitch to a rousing chorus of When will I see you again? Sung by the Ghost of Totman.
Wanderers 18 - Albion 1
45 Mins Second half kicks off
Wanderers now down to 4 men v Albions 3 - Milo put 5 of them on moderation for wearing non regulation width laces and having untidy hair in a built up area. A controversial move, but one unanimously approved by all of the moderators, proving that drugs and strong drink are the curse of the working man.
+58 Minutes Milo completes his 3rd hattrick, bringing the scores to 18 all , which now means that Albion are 4,015 goals ahead, as infraction points count double and with Crawley now under house arrest, there is little chance that Wanderers can claw them back.
+72 Wanderers play their trump card, and Saramanga takes to the field for Wanderers, having taken the unusual step of coming on as a substitute for an Albion player - Cooper, who was substituted after being savaged by a hungry Lion, the wife of Arcspace, who is watching on TV in SA.
+88 Kim Jong Scaramanga scores his 5,00th goal, despite the burden of being carried in a Sedan chair by 4 moderators, and celebrates by having Jennifer Aniston reveal her bare chest, by running round the pitch with her shirt pulled over her head, on his behalf.
In a frantic finale Milo brings the scores level in the 92nd minute, before having to leave the field of play, having been ordered to become the new Pope, by Mao Tse Scaramanga.
With only 4 exhausted moderators left on the pich to carry him, Scara, brings on Gareth Bale as a late ringer, to provide the cross by which he scores the winning goal.
In an after match interview Harry Redknapp pleaded for calm, and 10 year contract extension.