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Dating sites...

P.D. said:
Cinema is such an awful date, basically cant talk at all. Better inviting her round for a dvd then you can fudge her afterwards
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"And preferably not have to talk too much!?"


Still I take on board your suggestion, though I think she'd be reluctant on date 2.
 
Tell her you just got (insert latest blu ray here) that your quite keen to watch and see if she bites
 
Or say you have been getting into cooking lately and wouldn't mind testing out a new recipe, make it a joke like I promise not to poison you etc. Women love being cooked for. Always worked for me.

I realise you will have to talk to her then but if you want to bang her then some further work is required and this way you get to do it on 2nd date rather than a 3rd after cinema
 
elltrev said:
Alright guys, any ideas for a second date which will allow us to get a bit more cozy? And preferably not have to talk too much!? I'm thinking an indie cinema with sofas or something... the Electric looks viable, but it looks like the 2-person sofas have a big armrest between them...
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Took my Nephews and Niece to the bowling in the week before Christmas. It lasted a good two hours, but with two adults nearer an hour than two hours for two games. Loads of couples playing I noticed. I guess it depends on the age of you and the date. Probably best for Under 30s. Perfect length of time for a date. If it goes well, drinks after. These Bowling places have bars so you can have drinks during play. IMO better idea than a cinema.

They do a decent Thursday deal £10 each for two games. platter and a drink. The food is a bit nuggets and oven chips style.

http://www.tenpin.co.uk/ Put in your postcode to find nearest place.

I have booked two lanes for the blokes in our group of friends for a night out before drinks in two weeks, everyone seemed well up for it.

Sick of seeing the ladies go out as a group so I did this. They have Pool tables too, so might play some killer if we get there early.
 
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Evening lads

Been reading this thread with interest today...

I'm getting involved with this online dating malarkey. Was with my ex for 6 years, until we split up in May of last year. Then was seeing a girl for a few months.... it is one of those horrible, tantalising ones where you meet someone special, develop a real bond, then for some reasons it doesn't quite work out... maybe there's a chance in the future (apparently I have to be 'in the right place', which she doesn't believe is the case right now)... but for now we're just 'good friends' despite us both liking eachother crazily.

My conclusion: WOMEN, eh? It's hit me quite hard tbh. If anyone has any advice about how to deal with situations like the above, please share!

Anyway, so I'm looking to find some girls to have a good time in the meantime to help me get my mind off this girl (she really does mean A LOT to me)... got a pretty hectic life (work in Canary Wharf, live in Cambridge) as well as play a lot of footie so I struggle to find the time to devote to going on the pull and finding someone... also a lot of my mates are out of the singles game - it's difficult to find wing men basically! Not that I'm adverse to a spot of lone wolf, but it makes life harder.

Trying both POF and OKC. Struggling to get responses from ppl i message at the mo... not sure why, I'm a reasonably good looking guy I think, never really had trouble with women in the past, got good pictures and profile (I think??!?) up... any of your vets got any tips what to say in messages? Or is it a sheer percentages game?

I know the hot/quite hot girls on these sites get barraged, and loads of those are timewasters/idiots... how the hell are you meant to get them to reply?

Guess it's a case of sticking to it, and keeping the numbers up in terms of messages!?

Any one who can help, let me know! Cheers. Btw, I'm not just neccessarily looking for shags, I'm happy to get dating... cos I can't keep my life on hold indefinitely, what will be will be right?
 
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What does she mean that you have to be in the right place?

Don't hold your life for your ex at all. If she isn't happy with you then perhaps that signifies that things just weren't right, no matter how hard that might be to take.

You should find a woman who likes you for you and the other aspects of life are just optional extras.

I've learned this the hard way but thankfully I'm now with a woman who seems to like me as me. I don't feel I need to be false, to have an incredible job or be fantastic at swimming, just to be myself, to do the best I can in life, and to treat her the best way that I can and I intend to do just that.

As for the best in life thing, we should all strive to be that and shouldn't need a woman to force that out of us.
 
I do enjoy dating, but I really hate the dating game. Especially at my age (23) it is a massive game, and it's too much of a gamble not to play it...I've learnt the hard way. So if I go out with a girl, and it goes great, you still have to play it cool as much as you might like her and you think she might like you.

Do you guys have any hard and fast rules for after the first couple of dates?
 
What are people still doing talking playing dating games? Why can't you just be yourself? If they like you, they like you for who you are and not just because you're good at playing games!

One time the dice will stop rolling on your game. What then? If she likes your game more than she likes you, you're fudged and not in a good way!

Sure, hold some back but don't over analyse everything, be yourself and the rest should click in to place.
 
elltrev said:
Alright guys, any ideas for a second date which will allow us to get a bit more cozy? And preferably not have to talk too much!? I'm thinking an indie cinema with sofas or something... the Electric looks viable, but it looks like the 2-person sofas have a big armrest between them...
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The Zoo

Easy to talk about other things. You just say what you see
 
El Guepardo said:
What does she mean that you have to be in the right place?

Don't hold your life for your ex at all. If she isn't happy with you then perhaps that signifies that things just weren't right, no matter how hard that might be to take.

You should find a woman who likes you for you and the other aspects of life are just optional extras.

I've learned this the hard way but thankfully I'm now with a woman who seems to like me as me. I don't feel I need to be false, to have an incredible job or be fantastic at swimming, just to be myself, to do the best I can in life, and to treat her the best way that I can and I intend to do just that.

As for the best in life thing, we should all strive to be that and shouldn't need a woman to force that out of us.
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Cheers for the reply mate.

She likes me for me... she's said that so many times... that's one of the things she likes about me most. That's also one of the reasons why I like her as much as I do.

But she's in a place where she wants 110% commitment from any partner... she feels I would be *changing* myself to offer her that, as I'm not in the place in my life (which is: having split up with my longterm ex only about a month before I started seeing her). She thinks I'm impulsive, haven't fully 'had' a single life...

I don't think she fully understands that I am willing to commit to her, ready to settle down with her... no words I can say changes her mind. I also think she believes I'm 'impulsive' and that I'll just move on from her after a certain period...

Whereas she sees her love for me as unconditional, ever lasting. SHe doesn't want to lose me out of her life in some/any capacity. Doesn't want to gamble on that in any way. One way would be by us getting together when we're both not 100% happy & ready to be together, for life. If we did get together she's convinced it would end in tears and she'd lose me out of her life...

but I don't think not putting my life on hold as such. I really love her and want to be her, but I can't just sit around moping. I want to get out and live a fun life for the next few months... but don't want to commit to someone, as I want to be with her! So my aim is to play a long game, and see what happens... hopefully eventually showing to her my feelings are not just gonna evaporate - I want her to be the one I settle down with. Then it might twig in her head... 'yeah he is ready'... and hopefully our relationship (had a bit of drama in the last few weeks, arguments going over this) will have slowly been mended over the intervening period.

Of course, she might have told herself that nothing is ever gonna happen, because she's so convinced about this whole thing. And is forcing away those feelings (for me), trying to make them go away. But I don't think she can just do that, just like I can't. We'll always have a lot of chemistry... just the way it is right? B

I hope the above makes sense. Ultimately, the only thing that might solve this situation is TIME I guess. If either of us meets someone special in the meantime, then that will be a crushing blow for the other.. but that's how life is right?

Sorry for the vent lads... just it's on my mind in a big way right now.
 
Dude, I know how you feel. breakups are hard, are you over your ex? Im still not over my ex but have banged a few ladies since June lasy year ( and so I bloody hope so! ) some were from POF and some were real women Id met or knew.

The thing with POF IMO is that it isa percentage thing. I went out with this bird I was banging at Xmas from POF and she literally got a message on POF every half an hour or probably more often. And she was ok, so fit birds must get at least 10 messages an hour Id say so they dont bother replying to them all. And lets be honest, if you are not looking like Brad Pitt the Brad Pitt lookalikes will get more messages than you! However you say you are a good looking guy, I think I am too but I know I am not the best looking single guy out there on POF so you just need to do numbers. Send 20 messages a day to 20 different girls and you will get 4 replies back definitely.

Dont beat yourself up over not getting replies. There was this one bird I messaged 3 times before she messaged me back, it looked quite funny (or stalky) as in November I sent her a message, and in December I got the reply but you could see when she replied my same message over and over again "Hey how you doing you are stunning etc"

Be careful though I have sent messages to girls and their friends by accident. I have also met up with one girl, and puller her next door neighbour the previous week, for her next door neighbour to come in to this girls flat on our date. Fcukin awkward.

Unfortunately with this girl you like, Im not sure what you can do. Women are headfcuks mate and they look for the longterm (well some do) and she probably thinks you are not ready as you probably arent ready. Never rush into another relationship is my advice. Fcuk as many women as you can (and safely) and Id say you need about 6 months at least before a proper relationship. This is not to say that this is the rule though, it could work bu its just harder to prove to a girl that you are ready when you havent gone 6 months being single in my experience.
 
El Guepardo said:
What are people still doing talking playing dating games? Why can't you just be yourself? If they like you, they like you for who you are and not just because you're good at playing games!

One time the dice will stop rolling on your game. What then? If she likes your game more than she likes you, you're fudged and not in a good way!

Sure, hold some back but don't over analyse everything, be yourself and the rest should click in to place.
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I'm sure it was you who was going on about "game" not too long ago ;)
 
Yes, but I wasn't advocating gaming in relationships and, to be honest, I was straying far from myself, looking for a quick fix. Which perhaps thankfully I didn't really find.

Now I have found a woman who I'm delighted to have met. I'm staying true to me and, so far, it's working better than I could have hoped. So I have no plans to game her, instead to treat her as well as I can with the hope that this relationship continues for some time to come.
 
Disco said:
I do enjoy dating, but I really hate the dating game. Especially at my age (23) it is a massive game, and it's too much of a gamble not to play it...I've learnt the hard way. So if I go out with a girl, and it goes great, you still have to play it cool as much as you might like her and you think she might like you.

Do you guys have any hard and fast rules for after the first couple of dates?
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That's the thing really, no matter how attractive you are to her, there's always someone else that might come along instantly.
 
GinolaGinolaGinola said:
Dont beat yourself up over not getting replies. There was this one bird I messaged 3 times before she messaged me back, it looked quite funny (or stalky) as in November I sent her a message, and in December I got the reply but you could see when she replied my same message over and over again "Hey how you doing you are stunning etc"

.
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Was that your message ???
 
Why don't you write a question based on their profile? At least that's a little bit unique. Tag that question on the end of your opener & see what happens.
 
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