Hackett's answers to the questions in the OP:
1) Dry your face, ignore the laughter and call both players to you. First, the defender. He is guilty of unsporting behaviour in rolling the winger off the pitch, but he did not use excessive force – so it is a yellow card for him. Second, the winger. He's guilty of attempting to strike an opponent, which leaves you with no option: send him off, and restart with a direct free-kick for the initial trip.
2) No. In the time available, you cannot judge what effect these lenses will have. Your instinct may be that it represents unsporting behaviour, but really this is an issue to be dealt with by the authorities after the game. Provided they have not delayed the taking of the kicks, allow the shoot-out to continue.
3) Allow the goal. The defender should react to what he is seeing, not to what is being shouted. If the attacking player had shouted "Leave it!" or "My ball!" then I would have disallowed the goal and cautioned the forward for deceiving an opponent, which represents unsporting behaviour. As it is, this is the sort of shout that happens plenty of times in a game: defenders need to be alert.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013/jan/24/you-are-the-ref-michael-laudrup#
As Crawley said I think.