The Official Knee Jerk thread

[Jurgen the German]

DISGUSTING suggestion - totally against the Tottenham Hotspur ethos. We play football. In football fouling's not allowed, and should never be considered a tactic

What are we? Arsenal?

Nothing wrong with fouling the opposition when they are on the half way line and are breaking quickly. Not saying chop them down, but I would be happy if a Spurs player pulled a shirt and took a booking for it, in fact, I actually shout at the tv "foul him foul him' when this happens.

 

[Hully]

The way things are going for us right now it wouldn't surprise me if Arsenal won 5-0 against Milan and Van Persie scored all of them.

I'll tinkle myself laughing if it's 5-1!

 

[chancer]

People need to calm down about the thread title. It's clearly just a satirical version of a perfectly fair and reasonable question: "Will we collapse now?" The season is obviously a zillion miles from being over and that's not literally what OP meant.

Spurs fans are being greedy if we don't accept we need to have sticky patches during the season. There's only been the first two games, and these two really, and that should be considered par for the course for every team. We're not quite good enough yet to expect faultless seasons like championship-winning United, Chelsea and Arsenal teams of the last decade.

At best, we're the 3rd best team in England. That's pretty clear to all. So getting 3rd would constitute a 100% successful league campaign. And therefore 4th would be very, very good...short of full potential, but since when do any of us do that well in our jobs?...In that context, I think 4th would be a perfectly fine "good" season that Harry and the boys should be congratulated on if we get it. 3rd is in the lap of the gods, but we can certainly hang on to it. Either would be acceptable to me.

Now, the FA Cup. That is OUR fudging Cup. OURS! It's the FA frickin' Cup! I don't think I've ever said this about a cup campaign before, but looking at the teams left, I would consider failing to win it unacceptable. Preparation, team selection, in-game performance...Harry and his coaches need to get every one right in each of the next 4 games and just go win the bloody thing.

 

[Rorschach]

DISGUSTING suggestion - totally against the Tottenham Hotspur ethos. We play football. In football fouling's not allowed, and should never be considered a tactic

What are we? Arsenal?

Disgusting? That made me laugh.

If you think that every other professional team doesn't do this every now and again then you are very naive. In fact every Sunday league team does it. Spurs commits fouls like every other team and sometimes it is worth the yellow if it stops a goal or goal scoring chance.

 

[COYS]

Disgusting? That made me laugh.

If you think that every other professional team doesn't do this every now and again then you are very naive. In fact every Sunday league team does it. Spurs commits fouls like every other team and sometimes it is worth the yellow if it stops a goal or goal scoring chance.

Exactly. Teams that do it break the rules of football. Fouling is not football.

 

[paxtonwolf]

The way things are going for us right now it wouldn't surprise me if Arsenal won 5-0 against Milan and Van Persie scored all of them.

They way things have gone for them this weekend, it wouldnt surprise me. If there was any justice in football the would be 10pts behind today and not 4pts.
I have defintely considered having a cheeky bet on it, because I certainly wouldnt mind losing my stake

 

[Baleforce]

They way things have gone for them this weekend, it wouldnt surprise me. If there was any justice in football the would be 10pts behind today and not 4pts.
I have defintely considered having a cheeky bet on it, because I certainly wouldnt mind losing my stake

if there was any justice in football they would have gone out of business a hundred years ago

 

[Rorschach]

Exactly. Teams that do it break the rules of football. Fouling is not football.

Well actually it is part of the game, but lets just disagree on this.

 

[mudshark]

I did a bit of number-crunching earlier, and the results make uncomfortable reading for anyone placing faith in our finishing 3rd based on the remaining fixtures list. At best, it is going to be very close. No other club in the league has come anywhere near the collapse in form we've suffered over the last 6 games relative to season-long performance, and we're currently on course to finish 11 points shy of our projected total based on season-average form. Interestingly enough, our closest neighbour is Chelsea, on -8 points. Conversely, Arsenal are currently performing at 4 points better than their season average. This is almost entirely due to van Persie's goalscoring form. As of this moment, considering home and away form independently, they are projected to finish a point ahead of us.* The next fixture for both clubs could actually decide things in that regard. On form, we draw at Everton, while they record a home win against Saudi Sportswashing Machine. If we better that result, then matters are theoretically in our hands again. Alternatively, an injury to RvP right now would be an absolute godsend to Spurs.

Edit: * the same analysis also suggests that Man Utd will beat City to the title by 2 points.

 

[paxtonwolf]

I did a bit of number-crunching earlier, and the results make uncomfortable reading for anyone placing faith in our finishing 3rd based on the remaining fixtures list. At best, it is going to be very close. No other club in the league has come anywhere near the collapse in form we've suffered over the last 6 games relative to season-long performance, and we're currently on course to finish 11 points shy of our projected total based on season-average form. Interestingly enough, our closest neighbour is Chelsea, on -8 points. Conversely, Arsenal are currently performing at 4 points better than their season average. This is almost entirely due to van Persie's goalscoring form. As of this moment, considering home and away form independently, they are projected to finish 2 points ahead of us. The next fixture for both clubs could actually decide things in that regard. On form, we draw at Everton, while they record a home win against Saudi Sportswashing Machine. If we better that result, then matters are theoretically in our hands again. Alternatively, an injury to RvP right now would be an absolute godsend to Spurs.

Definitely, another key weekend.

On my Prem Predictor revision, that win at Anfield has made the difference between 3rd and 4th. Didnt see that one coming.
To grab it back I think we will need to win at either Everton,Sunderland or Chelsea to even it back out. Unless Saudi Sportswashing Machine can pull a rabbit out of the hat.
Although Everton will play a big part in all this, as their next two home games are us and Arsenal. I could live with both games being draws, matching Arsenals result at Goodison should mean still being 3rd on March 30th. Although by the time we kick-off v Swansea I feel we may have fell to 4th, with that game in hand

 

[lurker of old]

Who knows the future? I think our rivals for a potential Champions league spot are Chelsea, ie I see us finishing 4th and the arse's run continuing....hopefully I am a million miles wrong. I can't see us finishing 5th though, I don't see a collapse of that sort. Bring Bale back and we will win our home games from now on....

 

[africanspurs]

I did a bit of number-crunching earlier, and the results make uncomfortable reading for anyone placing faith in our finishing 3rd based on the remaining fixtures list. At best, it is going to be very close. No other club in the league has come anywhere near the collapse in form we've suffered over the last 6 games relative to season-long performance, and we're currently on course to finish 11 points shy of our projected total based on season-average form. Interestingly enough, our closest neighbour is Chelsea, on -8 points. Conversely, Arsenal are currently performing at 4 points better than their season average. This is almost entirely due to van Persie's goalscoring form. As of this moment, considering home and away form independently, they are projected to finish 2 points ahead of us. The next fixture for both clubs could actually decide things in that regard. On form, we draw at Everton, while they record a home win against Saudi Sportswashing Machine. If we better that result, then matters are theoretically in our hands again. Alternatively, an injury to RvP right now would be an absolute godsend to Spurs.

do you mind expanding on the analysis a little bit? the reason i ask is because you've done this and come out with what i'm guessing is a flat average and then done some kind of time series forecasting.

the only problem with that is that i'm guessing you dont weight anything in the crunching; like away games and quality of opposition

you've gone on the last 6 games? that would include..arsenal away, liverpool away, city away, man united home, Saudi Sportswashing Machine home and wigan.

its interesting that your view of our future points earnings is based on THAT set of what would surely be our HARDEST run of games significantly this season. there isnt even much of a gap to breathe and catch a bit of form in between some of those games is there? nothing like a man united home then one or two bottom half teams , then liverpool, followed by a team in 10th to 8th position etc etc...no its just a string of some beastly games where we've missed a couple of players as well i would imagine

any chance that the level of opposition starting to open up a little bit from here on till the end of the season might see us catch form whereas the other big teams might still have their luck derailed by playing teams that we've just encountered in the last 6 games

plus our form is always going to suffer as a result of the HUGE stride we made earlier this season...what was that run? 10 wins and a draw in 11 games? then followed by not being defeated that much this season ...we were looking good going into this run till march..alas we slipped up exactly where the football schedule decided to put black ice on the floor

 

[Jurgen the German]

They way things have gone for them this weekend, it wouldnt surprise me. If there was any justice in football the would be 10pts behind today and not 4pts.
I have defintely considered having a cheeky bet on it, because I certainly wouldnt mind losing my stake

fudge it, I might put money on it also. If I lose then great. If I win then the odds would be astronomical!! I don't like to wish injuries on players, but I really wouldn't mind if that dirty git Van Bommel injured Van Persie (not seriously) and it kept him out for a few games.

 

[DHSF]

I think ... infact I know we will finish third.

Remember the first two games? Those could have knocked the stuffing out of us but it didnt. It made us stronger. So fudge you all. THIRD IT IS.

 

[noddy1991]

swings and roundabouts people.

the weekends results made a top 4 finish more likely but as others have said it looks like it'll be nip and tuck with the filth for 3rd now until the end of the season. i've got it as us 74, filth 73 and chavs 68 at the moment and that's with us getting nothing at stamford bridge. chavs will have to pull some real rabbits out of the hat to get back in it especially with their away games left.

probably will go into the swansea game in 4th. put this way if they're not either they've made a mess of some very winnable games or we've won at everton or chelsea

 

[mudshark]

do you mind expanding on the analysis a little bit? the reason i ask is because you've done this and come out with what i'm guessing is a flat average and then done some kind of time series forecasting.

the only problem with that is that i'm guessing you dont weight anything in the crunching; like away games and quality of opposition

you've gone on the last 6 games? that would include..arsenal away, liverpool away, city away, man united home, Saudi Sportswashing Machine home and wigan.

its interesting that your view of our future points earnings is based on THAT set of what would surely be our HARDEST run of games significantly this season. there isnt even much of a gap to breathe and catch a bit of form in between some of those games is there? nothing like a man united home then one or two bottom half teams , then liverpool, followed by a team in 10th to 8th position etc etc...no its just a string of some beastly games where we've missed a couple of players as well i would imagine

any chance that the level of opposition starting to open up a little bit from here on till the end of the season might see us catch form whereas the other big teams might still have their luck derailed by playing teams that we've just encountered in the last 6 games

plus our form is always going to suffer as a result of the HUGE stride we made earlier this season...what was that run? 10 wins and a draw in 11 games? then followed by not being defeated that much this season ...we were looking good going into this run till march..alas we slipped up exactly where the football schedule decided to put black ice on the floor

It does treat home and away games independently, but other than that, it's completely based on a dumb 6-game average; nothing clever whatsoever (not least because I forgot to add our 'point' against Everton to the total first time round—I started out looking at the totals for the final 10 games). It's funny you should ask, though, because a couple of years ago, I started trying to write a predictive program based on goal averages for and against, that did attempt to bias outcomes based on "quality" of opposition, etc., and I found that the raw goal averages were often more reliable at predicting scores than anything else I tried to do, and the more cleverly I "improved" things, the more likely all the scores were to come out 1-1 One possible explanation, I suspect, is that form, good or bad, often drags more of the same along with it, because of confidence factors and so on.

 

[DubaiSpur]

Well, if I remember correctly, Arsenal have still to play City, Saudi Sportswashing Machine,Chelsea, Stoke and Everton this season. City, Saudi Sportswashing Machine and Chelsea at home, but Stoke and Everton away. Saudi Sportswashing Machine at home will be no easy task, since they'll have Tiote and Cabaye available, unlike when they faced us, City are City, Stoke away is never an easy place, and neither is Everton, who will have Pienaar available to face them, unlike when they play us. Big creative difference. The only side out of that lot I see Arsenal having an easy game with is Chelsea, and even that is uncertain. While the only games we are due to play that I would consider comparably difficult to the run we just had now would be Everton Sunderland and Chelsea away. Two of those three in the next three weeks. So a clear run in the last eight games, all of which are winnable (even Sunderland, who will no doubt be feeling the fatigue brought on by O'Neill's lack of rotation).

So I think we've come through our trying patch, and are bound for better times. True, we didn't come through it so much as stumbled blindly into and out of it, dropping points left, right and centre like a drunk, argumentative hobo, but it's over now. I expect a point at least at Everton, and I expect we'll win at home against Stoke as well. Throw in the win against Stevenage, and a win at home against Bolton in the sixth round (both achievable, at the very least), and by the time we have to play Chelsea away, we're right back in the races for third, and are (if all goes well) in the FA Cup semi-final. Brighter times ahead. I know it. Believe.

 

[ArcspacE]

People need to calm down about the thread title. It's clearly just a satirical version of a perfectly fair and reasonable question: "Will we collapse now?" The season is obviously a zillion miles from being over and that's not literally what OP meant.

The thread (as the title suggests) was intended to 'house' all humorous over-reactions following another disappointing result. Much like it always goes on here. However - in the course of it some valid points were raised which have sparked reasonable debates.

Personally I think our season is far from over but we really need to regroup both mentally and physically and start finding an end product to all the possession we seem to be dominating in 85% of our games instead of passing the ball sideways with no real idea what to do most of the time. We need to be a little more clinical and direct in our movement within the final third

 

[mick cooper]

People need to calm down about the thread title. It's clearly just a satirical version of a perfectly fair and reasonable question: "Will we collapse now?" The season is obviously a zillion miles from being over and that's not literally what OP meant.

So you didn't see anything inflammatory in the query about bottling it?

surely you can see that it was hardly a sensible choice of phraseology, immediately after losing a game that we dominated for so long.

we deserved to lose to the goons, we didn't deserve to lose the manure game

NB - I have only replied to this now, as I havent been following the thread, and only noticed the comment because arcspace highlighted it. Its not an attempt to wind anyone up

 

[Poker Boy]

Well, if I remember correctly, Arsenal have still to play City, Saudi Sportswashing Machine,Chelsea, Stoke and Everton this season. City, Saudi Sportswashing Machine and Chelsea at home, but Stoke and Everton away. Saudi Sportswashing Machine at home will be no easy task, since they'll have Tiote and Cabaye available, unlike when they faced us, City are City, Stoke away is never an easy place, and neither is Everton, who will have Pienaar available to face them, unlike when they play us. Big creative difference. The only side out of that lot I see Arsenal having an easy game with is Chelsea, and even that is uncertain. While the only games we are due to play that I would consider comparably difficult to the run we just had now would be Everton Sunderland and Chelsea away. Two of those three in the next three weeks. So a clear run in the last eight games, all of which are winnable (even Sunderland, who will no doubt be feeling the fatigue brought on by O'Neill's lack of rotation).

So I think we've come through our trying patch, and are bound for better times. True, we didn't come through it so much as stumbled blindly into and out of it, dropping points left, right and centre like a drunk, argumentative hobo, but it's over now. I expect a point at least at Everton, and I expect we'll win at home against Stoke as well. Throw in the win against Stevenage, and a win at home against Bolton in the sixth round (both achievable, at the very least), and by the time we have to play Chelsea away, we're right back in the races for third, and are (if all goes well) in the FA Cup semi-final. Brighter times ahead. I know it. Believe.

Arsenal have also still got to play away at West Brom which is looking a lot harder now than it was a month ago.