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The funniest football chants

Celtic played in Monaco a few years ago and this has to be one of my all time favourites, to the tune of in your northern slums,

In your Monaco slums
You look through the bins for something to eat
You find a dead lobster
You think it's a treat
In your Monaco slums.

Taken from the book "**** ground, no fans"
There are some corkers in there.
 
Not a chant per se but funny as **** none the less.

The Magdeburg fans try to help their team score, which hadn't happened in a while before this...
fcmagdeburgberlinerak4at569_0.jpg


magdeburg-arrows-1.jpg
 
"Sol, Sol wherever you"....sorry scratch that.

Liverpool fans used to sing this about Djimi Traore after he scored a rather comical own goal:

"Don't blame it on the Biscan,
Don't blame it on the Hamann,
Don't blame it on the Finnan,
Blame it on Traore,
He just can't, He just can't, He just can't control his feet."

It is ruined slightly by the fact that whoever created it, clearly put a tad too much effort in to doing so, but did make me chuckle all the same.
 
Sung by us to Phil Thompson when he managed Liverpool
Sit down Pinocchio sit down Pinocchio brilliant!
 
ShelfLife said:
"Sol, Sol wherever you"....sorry scratch that.

Liverpool fans used to sing this about Djimi Traore after he scored a rather comical own goal:

"Don't blame it on the Biscan,
Don't blame it on the Hamann,
Don't blame it on the Finnan,
Blame it on Traore,
He just can't, He just can't, He just can't control his feet."

It is ruined slightly by the fact that whoever created it, clearly put a tad too much effort in to doing so, but did make me chuckle all the same.
Click to expand...
It's still pretty good.
I still wish we'd come up with a
Weh oh weh oh
Weeeeh oh weh oh
Scores like an Egyptian
For Mido. Although it wouldn't have been sung that often.
 
Sagna used to get this sung to him and his hair style remains the same;

He's got a bird sh!t on his head,
He's got a bird sh!t on his head..

etc
 
The babies not yours....the babies not yourrssssss...oh jack Wheelchair....it's adebayors!!!!

Sol sol wherever you may be.....
 
Not a chant as such but still funny.

Back in around 2003 we beat Birmingham 4-0 or 4-1 and was at WHL station after the game. We were on the side heading towards Hertford with the brummies heading towards Liverpool Street.

Around 100 each side. Songs were being sung in general and then it became like a game of chanting ping pong with one Tottenham fan singing a song about Birmingham followed by a brummie returning one to that individual. This went on a few times followed by laughter, booing etc...as everyone looked down the line at who was chanting.

After one particular chant (All good natured) I laughed quite loudly so the next brummie pointed at me and sung 'Whos the fat one, who's the fat one, who's the fat one with the hat? Who's the fat one with the hat? To which we all laughed of course me included. It was followed by ooohs from my fellow yids and ssssh from them.

Everyone went silent and 200 eyes were awaiting my reply. I put my hands over my head and shouted 'HOME IN TEN MINUTES, SAID ILL BE HOME IN TEN MINUTES! HOME IN TEN MINUTESSSSS SAY ILL BE HOME IN TEN MINUTES!!'

It was a great time waiting for the train and my reply was met by applause by the brummies!! :)
 
I`m probably a lot older than most on here but one that has always stuck in my mind since I was a kid at the Lane was one to the tune of Macnamaras band. For the younger amongst you it was the tune played when the team emerged from the tunnel

Anyway it was something along the lines of-

United they`ve got Georgie Best
And Arsenal Alan Ball
But Chelseas Peter Osgood is the queerest of them all
You`ve never seen anything like from the present to the past
Theres nothing he likes better than Ron Harris up his A***
Oh la la la la la la la la laaa

etc etc

Also found this http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/funny_old_game/8077666.stm
 
A few years ago I remember being at the lane against Everton and the park lane were singing:

We've got Jermain Defoe
You've got our stereos
 
Enzo Francescoli said:
Celtic played in Monaco a few years ago and this has to be one of my all time favourites, to the tune of in your northern slums,

In your Monaco slums
You look through the bins for something to eat
You find a dead lobster
You think it's a treat
In your Monaco slums.

Taken from the book "**** ground, no fans"
There are some corkers in there.
Click to expand...

Yes, I remember that aimed at the scousers many many moons ago…and yeah, I remember the Everton one but the spammers sang it before us with Di Canio…

Another fun one

If you're sitting in row Z and the ball hits your head it's Zamora!


I have to say, I always heartily enjoyed the annual 'you'll never get a job, you'll never get a job, sign on, sign on, with pen, in your hand…' at Anfield.
 
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