In today’s Absurd Football News, Barcelona have been given permission to sign a replacement for Ousmane Dembélé, a man so knacked by a hamstring-twang that Barça players even took to the pitch at the weekend in funereal fashion, every single member of the squad donning specially prepared Dembélé shirts. He’s pulled his hamstring, lads!
The upshot of Dembélé’s injury is that Barcelona are a little short in attack. This, of course, is entirely their own fault. Dembélé picked up the problem well before the end of the January transfer window, yet despite their almost limitless financial resources Barcelona chose not to loan or buy a replacement. Rather, they actually let one of their potential replacements, Carles Pérez, leave on transfer deadline day, joining Roma on loan. Bring out the violins! Listen close and you can hear the Rumour Mill’s heart smashing into a million pieces.
Any normal club would be now be in a tricky spot. But Barcelona have arguably the most famous production line of talent in the world in their academy, La Masia. Maybe Ansu Fati could get a run of starts, or Riqui Puig could be added to the first-team squad? Perhaps there is another star of tomorrow that could be called upon to play the final 15 minutes of another routine La Liga win?
Nope, instead Barcelona are going shopping after being given 15 days to sign a player who is already playing in La Liga or is a free agent. Naturally, they have turned to former Middlesbrough flop Martin Braithwaite, who managed nine goals in two years for the Championship club but is playing at relegation-threatened Leganés. The Danish forward would cost €20m, and could well be the difference between them going up and down.
Leganés, by the way, will not be permitted to sign a replacement of their own, another bitter blow for a club in a league that is already massively financially skewed in favour of the bigger clubs. Braithwaite will likely play a handful of minutes and not make any meaningful contribution. His Mr 15%, Ali Dursun (who also looks after Frenkie de Jong) will get another payday. Leganés, second from bottom and two points from safety, could well go down. That’s football, folks!
