thfcsteff
Sonny Walters
Whatever happens -whatever the FUKK happens- let's give it a go.
Front-foot.
Pick the player that can create (Xavi), just find a way to shoehorn the bastahd in DeZerbi...and make him feel a foot taller and two yards faster, infuse his tea with ecstacy and start singing a song about him being the hybrid of Cruyff and Sniejder with the scoring touch of Van Basten (yes, that's right deZerbi, SING IT LIKE IT'S AN OPERA AND DON'T SKIP THE HIGH NOTES!)...
Force Richy to look at photos and video of OG Ronaldo for 3 hours before KO, all the time with one of the assistants (Salter is it?) screaming at him that he is DA MAN WITH DA FINISHING TOUCH and making sure there's a barber on site to shave his head except for a small triangular patch above his eyebrows...
Tell Danso he has everything Ledders had and more - two functioning knees. No shouting or cajoling necessary because he'll take it right onboard.
Make sure Matty Tel is given a video of Thierry Henry...not playing, talking, so as Tel can absorb the arrogance of Henry and nonchalantly take the tinkle out of the Brighton backline as well engaging in a bit of dodgy basketball to 'score' a goal if need be.
As for Mickey, our lovely Mickey, just remind him that he is one of the fastest, strongest defenders in the league and have him repeat (after you Roberto) a hundred times, 'thou shalt not pass', starting as a whisper and ending in a screaming roar loud enough to shake the gonads off an elephant at a 1000 yards!
ALL OF THEM.
STEP ONTO THAT PITCH AND WANT THE BALL.
WANT THE ACTION.
AND WANT TO SHOOT!
Don't be afraid. Because lads, it's brick and has been brick all season. That's the truth (whatever the context). And a major contributor to the 'being brick' bit has been fear and anxiety.
So fukk it.
Give it your all in the attacking sense. Just go the fukk for it. As I've said for weeks now, this is all about the space above the eyebrows and below the hairline feeling warm, fuzzy, and positive!!!
Get that fuzzy feeling of excitement, anticipation and joy in your collective knacker-sacks and lay the hairy bastahds ON THE LINE!!!!!
COYS!
Front-foot.
Pick the player that can create (Xavi), just find a way to shoehorn the bastahd in DeZerbi...and make him feel a foot taller and two yards faster, infuse his tea with ecstacy and start singing a song about him being the hybrid of Cruyff and Sniejder with the scoring touch of Van Basten (yes, that's right deZerbi, SING IT LIKE IT'S AN OPERA AND DON'T SKIP THE HIGH NOTES!)...
Force Richy to look at photos and video of OG Ronaldo for 3 hours before KO, all the time with one of the assistants (Salter is it?) screaming at him that he is DA MAN WITH DA FINISHING TOUCH and making sure there's a barber on site to shave his head except for a small triangular patch above his eyebrows...
Tell Danso he has everything Ledders had and more - two functioning knees. No shouting or cajoling necessary because he'll take it right onboard.
Make sure Matty Tel is given a video of Thierry Henry...not playing, talking, so as Tel can absorb the arrogance of Henry and nonchalantly take the tinkle out of the Brighton backline as well engaging in a bit of dodgy basketball to 'score' a goal if need be.
As for Mickey, our lovely Mickey, just remind him that he is one of the fastest, strongest defenders in the league and have him repeat (after you Roberto) a hundred times, 'thou shalt not pass', starting as a whisper and ending in a screaming roar loud enough to shake the gonads off an elephant at a 1000 yards!
ALL OF THEM.
STEP ONTO THAT PITCH AND WANT THE BALL.
WANT THE ACTION.
AND WANT TO SHOOT!
Don't be afraid. Because lads, it's brick and has been brick all season. That's the truth (whatever the context). And a major contributor to the 'being brick' bit has been fear and anxiety.
So fukk it.
Give it your all in the attacking sense. Just go the fukk for it. As I've said for weeks now, this is all about the space above the eyebrows and below the hairline feeling warm, fuzzy, and positive!!!
Get that fuzzy feeling of excitement, anticipation and joy in your collective knacker-sacks and lay the hairy bastahds ON THE LINE!!!!!
COYS!
.....it must be 12 weeks now! 
