I think it’s fair to call people out on terms that are offensive for that very reason
It’s an education for that person and others (myself included)
I regularly ask people how to say their names if their “foreign” as that a very important thing in my mind... it’s a personal identification. Yet I know plenty who happily call people the wrong name which I believe is offensive
Can I ask in the spirit of education what or why you find "I don't see colour" as offensive?
As I've said on here before I treat people how I would like to be treated, if that isn’t reciprocated I will distance myself from them.
In my admittedly small circle of friends of ethnic minority past and present I wouldn't say that I find any real difference between any of us. The colour of our skin is no more important to me than the colour of our hair.
Is that not a good thing?
Do you feel like I would be denying you something?
A heritage, culture or something along those lines?
Apologies in advance for any clumsy wording, absolutely no offence intended.
Honestly, just read
@Bedfordspurs post, I didn't write after reading his.
Not trying to take the tinkle.
Thank you both.
@glasgowspur I didn't think you were taking the tinkle at all.
I'll try to answer your question mate, I'm not sure how eloquent I can be as there's a lot of stuff in my head that isn't necessarily being formulated into an answer.
When someone tells me they don't see colour it is usually in the context of a discussion or discourse around race/ethnicity. By saying they don't see colour, it instantly undermines any experiences I have had where I have been made acutely aware of my colour/ethnicity/background (an almost daily occurrence). It makes me and my experiences invisible and not worthy of further discussion purely because I have never had the privilege of being able to 'not see colour'. I doubt I ever will in my lifetime unless the the foundations of our systems and institutions are rebuilt from the ground up.
By saying 'I don't see colour', the message being portrayed to POC is that there is no acknowledgement of the natural racial profiling and/or bias and insidious, sometimes covertly hidden institutionalised racism that continues up to the present day, simply because that person doesn't see it or experience it for themselves.
To bring in an example similar to what Bedford wrote in his post. I used to work in an office where there was myself and another Indian chap. Complete opposites physically and our names were not similar in the slightest. He's short, very dark complexion whereas I am tall and of light complexion. Also two very different personalities. At least twice a day (I'm being conservative here), the white people in the office would get our names mixed up or call us the other person's name when addressing us. It was either not acknowledged or laughed off. I too shrugged it off for a long time but then it hit me; no-one mistook Paul and Thomas or Hannah and Nikki for each other. So I started calling my colleagues out on it, often in a humorous manner but I received very defensive responses along the lines of 'I'm not racist, I don't see colour, how dare you imply that I am and do'. For the record I never insinuated anyone was being racist. One particular time I called a colleague out on it and he stopped for a moment in thought, then turned to me and said 'that's not ok, is it?' I honestly could've bear-hugged him just for the acknowledgement. My name isn't hard to pronounce by the way, it's Raman and a lot of people call me Ram.
A couple more personal examples:
I've been congratulated for 'not looking Indian' by white people
It has become second-nature to me to be mindful of what I am wearing and what bag I should carry when I know I'm going on public transport, because I don't wan't to receive 'that look'.
I have lost potential freelance employment based on my name and for a time when I worked in recruitment, I witnessed first hand the profiling by clients (mostly subconsciously) of candidates they hadn't met based on name and skin colour. I have been told 'oh thank GHod, I thought you weren't going to be able to speak English' when I've turned up on a job. Or 'you're not how I expected you to sound/look like'.
Having to explain 'where I'm really from' every time someone asks me where I'm from, then having to explain my skin tone as I don't look Indian enough or being told I'm outright lying.
Having to prepare myself if I get into a potentially argumentative situation with someone I don't know for the eventual reference to my colour/background/ethnicity
I have to see colour even when I don't wish to. To be able to say 'I don't see colour' is a privilege in itself, but I also think it masks the underlying issue of not wanting to feel uncomfortable. This is not to undermine your valid experience of referencing your circle of friends and being able to differentiate colour and character. Chich made a valid example too where someone's skin colour shouldn't shield them or trap them in being called out for behaving badly. I have predominantly white friendship circles where my colour and background is hardly ever in my thoughts. Unless we discussed subjects around race, where even my closest friends have fallen into a trap of expecting me to share their experience because they 'don't see colour'. They don't use that term anymore based on us sharing experiences and listening to each others viewpoints.
I was looking for a great article I read a couple of years ago on the science of seeing colour and how it's impossible not to, but sadly I can't find it. However I did find this one just now which I think expresses my personal viewpoints so much more succinctly.
So the
tl;dr is this https://theeverygirl.com/i-dont-see-color/ !
). Someone remind me.
