Mods this doesn't belong here but I am replying to
@braineclipse if you want me to delete & post somewhere else let me know
So I very rarely talk about my father because he was aggressive & violent until I turned 16. My father said it was about making us tough for the big bad world. At the age of 7 he took me boxing & made me fight a nine year old I got smashed yes that will toughen me up. in reality he couldn't leave his work at the door. as soon as he arrived home we would all disappear to our rooms & stay quiet. He didn't even eat with us we'd eat in the kitchen with the door closed he'd eat with my mum & sister playing happy families. The women in his life could never do any wrong. You had to live by his rules problem was only he knew the rules. None of my friends ever came to my house they were all to scared. It all stopped when I was 16 he punched me this time I returned serve then it was on for young & old. It is my biggest regret & something I will never forgive myself for. My old man was the meanest toughest man I've ever met & he succeeded in making his 3 sons the complete opposite of him.
The thing is I never met his parents even though they were alive because my father refused to talk to them. I assume he got the same treatment from his father. Luckily the three of us broke that chain
At my mother's funeral my eldest brother confronted my father his response I made you tough so you could survive this world. My brother pointed out that was a load of gonads & did he regret that he no relationship with his son's he replied that's your problem not mine. At his own funeral only my sister went. I wish I had buried the hatchet & told him despite everything we had been through he was still my father he had done the right thing by my mum & sister & for that I loved him