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what should I do with my life?

As a few have suggested, travel is a great aid to making life decisions. It can really open up your eyes and give you some fantastic memories and experiences. It seems as though you may have a future in teaching/teacher aid and this coupled with a desire to travel can open up so many doors for you.

I was 29 and had been working as an accountant in the NHS for many years, I started seeing a nurse. It sickened me to see the crap she had to put up with in A&E while I was sitting back, doing 9 to 5 and getting paid more than double what she was on. We decided to just chuck it all in and go travelling a bit and see if a) we enjoyed it and b) whether we could put up with each other in such circumstances (24/7 relationship). It was by a long way the best thing we ever did, met some fantastic people, saw some incredible places and generally realised that the world really is your oyster. After returning to UK and settling down, mortgage, job in London, kid we got disillusioned with life in London (or maybe UK in general) so headed off here to Australia.

Live 200m from the beach, daughter goes to a fantastic school, earning good money.

What I am trying to get across is that without having travelled we may never have had the guts to make the big decision, would have stayed in the rut and probably hated each other after 10 years. At least now she can hate me where the sun shines most of the year!!!

If I had your opportunity mate, I would seek out a 1 year teaching aid course, get your blue card (or whatever it's called in Uk to allow you to work with kids) and go travelling to places where firstly there are international schools, and once comfortable with that head off to teaching English in local schools. I can't think of a much more rewarding vocation.

Best of luck in whatever you do, but PLEASE PLEASE don't ever be in a position where you say "I wish I had ......." if you had a chance to do it, but didn't.
 
Thebarbarian said:
I was 29 and had been working as an accountant in the NHS for many years, I started seeing a nurse. It sickened me to see the crap she had to put up with in A&E while I was sitting back, doing 9 to 5 and getting paid more than double what she was on. We decided to just chuck it all in and go travelling a bit and see if a) we enjoyed it and b) whether we could put up with each other in such circumstances (24/7 relationship). It was by a long way the best thing we ever did, met some fantastic people, saw some incredible places and generally realised that the world really is your oyster. After returning to UK and settling down, mortgage, job in London, kid we got disillusioned with life in London (or maybe UK in general) so headed off here to Australia.
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Whoa. This sounds like me and my plans. I turned 30 in September, and although not an accountant, I do have a stable 8-5 job writing corporate PR for some very large multinationals and conglomerates, tax free GCC salary (with the obvious downsides to living in the gulf). My girlfriend of 7 months is a neonatal nurse dealing with pre-term babies, often very sick because of the cousin-cousin marriages that still go on and the general low levels of education many of the people still possess. Heart disease, lungs of an 80 yr old, malformed limbs etc etc. Traits running through families. While her accommodation is provided, it is basic. She is foreign to this land, like I am, and gets paid less than the locals do for much more work and higher demands. Locals are nearly unsackable, us foreigners are at the mercy of our local sponsor - in her case it's the Ministry of Health. Locals are about to get a backdated payrise and she is waiting to see whether they will graciously extend that to foreign workers who make up 75% of the sector.

Meanwhile I just got promoted, a 20% (!) payrise, a bonus and more responsibility. She saves lives. I basically do **** all most of the time, it is midday on a Tuesday and I am writing this. Already today I have watched 2 TV shows and completed a couple of levels of Candy Crush, but in a moment I will go back to writing the Annual Report for a global bank. She is asleep after a grueling night shift.

Yet the realities are that I earn twice as much as she does now. Neither of us struggle for money but that's not the point. Before my promotion I was unhappy being a dogsbody for work people didn't want to do, now I am in charge of a team of 3. She remains unhappy, the payrise - if they decide to give it - would soothe that a bit.

Long story short. Work, however unpleasant, is a means to an end. It pays for things you want to do. Our plan, like yours, is to move to Australia. Her brother is there. She can carry on nursing there and my PR background opens up opportunities in an emerging market.

For both of us this move to the Middle East was financial, it has provided the base to live a nice lifestyle and earn a decent wedge while enjoying our surroundings. We're going away to Asia for 3 weeks in March and Maldives in for a few days in July (it's 4hrs away), almost like a reward for all the **** that happens on a daily basis. Then we are focusing on sorting out the Aussie move.

I realise this sounds a bit like a show off post but I was unemployed for 6 months about 2 1/2 yrs ago, going nowhere, no interviews on the horizon, and took a chance to come here with one suitcase and knowing no one. Never even been here before. Hard work does bring rewards and the best you can do is manage the situation to come up with a solution that works best for you, even if it means wading through **** for a while.

For every reward there is a cost as well and you have to balance time vs money and money vs happiness. What's the point being rich and miserable or rich and have no time to do anything.

There's no right answer and making a 'mistake' is part of the learning experience. Plan ahead, a short/medium and long term goal, and progress along that road.

The job you have now helps get the next one. Title, responsibilities and salary are the baseline for the next move.
 
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if i was 29 again, and no dependents, i think i'd consider looking into the teaching abroad route.
don't get me wrong, i actually like my job, the people i work with, earn good money etc, and wouldn't swap my kids for anything, but seeing a couple of my friends doing it, and seeing what they get out of it, i'd definitely give it consideration.
 
i missed the teaching part of your post 7percent - as TheBarbarian mentions it's close to the perfect job to combine with travelling - get yourself familiarized with TEFL and similar type courses and it will open up so many opportunities for you. i have a friend teaching English in Mexico, earning good money- you don't particularly need language skills to work in a foreign country as many places you will be working with people who are at a certain level in English already - i met a girl who could barely speak Spanish who was teaching advanced maths in Mexico City to locals! many opportunities in SE Asian countries, from what i gather - the Arab states, Latin America not to mention all the English speaking countries - anywhere you could ever want to go.
 
Billyiddo, as you know it is incredibly hard to see your partner work 50-60 hours a week, get spat on, punched, see kids die etc etc and not feel some humility.

7% (hope you don't mind the name shortening), if you believe you have a talent for teaching, please use it. I would love to have that empathetic trait to enhance the lives of the next generations , unfortunately I'm a bit of a grumpy git, and expect perfection from everyone. Probably part of my upbringing, possibly a part of my chosen career ( black and white etc etc ) but something I am happy with providing there are people like my wife (and if you go down that avenue) and you that have the vocational "bones" in your body.

Jeez, I hope I can be so open minded when my daughter chooses her career path !!!!!
 
This thread has given me so much to think about already- teaching is definitely an option and travelling is appealing as well. Does anyone know any good organisations/places to start looking into teaching abroad? I'm not expecting you to do googling for me but if you've experience of doing this or know someone that has you might be able to recommend something.

Thebarbarian said:
7% (hope you don't mind the name shortening)
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My username on a previous version of this board was 7%, when it was upgraded to this board it wouldn't let me use symbols in my username, unless a passing admin wants to change it for me? :-"
 
7percent said:
This thread has given me so much to think about already- teaching is definitely an option and travelling is appealing as well. Does anyone know any good organisations/places to start looking into teaching abroad? I'm not expecting you to do googling for me but if you've experience of doing this or know someone that has you might be able to recommend something.



My username on a previous version of this board was 7%, when it was upgraded to this board it wouldn't let me use symbols in my username, unless a passing admin wants to change it for me? :-"
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[-X

“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
 
Mate, don't worry about the situation in life that you find yourself in. This similar type of situation is actually a lot more commonplace than you might think for guys our age. I think it harks at a 'quarter life crisis'... and this concept is NOT a myth... it's real. Probably a lot of the replies in this thread demonstrate that. Here are my thoughts...

I'm 28, 29 in August. Did English Lit at uni, then a masters in Film, met a girl, got in a 7 year relationship, split up with her in March 2012.

Have kind of jumped from job to job in this time... 2 years in a customer service role, 2 years in insurance, 2 years in finance. Throughout all those jobs I've never really been motivated oif focussed, had no real plan, haven't saved ANY money whatsoever. Like you I've spent a sh!t load on booze and drugs and festivals and holidays.

Personally, I stayed in a long term relationship which I wasn't really... at heart... committed to. Basically wanted to live a single life, but 'couldn't', so selfishlessly strayed... cheated too often. Came out of that when the committment (i.e. marriage, kids, etc) side was ramped up by the girl - I couldn't handle that, no way. So we split up.

At the end of 2013 I realised I'm effectively at square one - no money really, no real idea of what I want to do or where I'm going. I guess I realised I have effectively been lost for most of those years: I have made countless bad/short term decisions and have aimlessly wandered from situation to situation.

The good news is, I have realised this, and I've owned it. It took a girl to prompt this in me: a girl who is the love of my life... but she has escaped me. She escaped me because of all the reasons that made me lost. The fact I was lost, made me the man I was when I lost her, and the two had a direct correlation. If that makes any sense at all...

Enough about me. THe point of my long ramble is that I understand where you're at dude. Firstly, I'd say you have passed THE most important step. Which is you've sat back and looked at yourself and realised: I need to change. Until you worked that out you'd only stay lost.

Second of all, let go of the past. That sounds tough to achieve and in a way it is. But apply this principle: you've realised what's gone wrong. That is a MASSIVE positive step. You can't change what's gone in the past; all you can do is make sure you don't repeat the same mistakes of the past going forward. Apply this and all the regrets/mistakes of the past will fade quicker than you think...

Third, and probably the hardest part, is working out what to do going forward. I think look at this as a postive. Think of it as life starting again in a way. You've got a great chance to really become the REAL YOU... to step up and sort yourself out. This doesn't mean it'll be 'easy' as such. Working out 'what you want to do' in life is the hardest thing in the world. I've spent years in various jobs and I'm not really entirely sure myself. I've realised that for some people this realisation comes in an instance, for others it could take years. Both of us appear to have discovered this around the same time.

There are many approaches to trying to work this stuff out. I think the travelling shouts are GREAT. You've got some savings, use them. Get out and see the world... I went travelling with my ex and it was incredible. You'll see amazing countries, meet great people, get away from gloomy England. Inspiration may very hit you while you're out there. Doing something like teaching may help massively.

If you decide to stay in England, or in the event you come back from travelling none the wiser, I think it's a case of working out your strengths & weaknesses and working out what type of careers you think they might be suited for. I totally agree with the coments about being passionate... engaged in what you choose to do... that's the easiest way to find the type of focus and commitment to really kick on in a career.

I find writing for me helps. It is theraputic and gives me clarity. I have recently listed all my strengths and weaknesses on paper... then talked to career advisers... and they helped me think of areas which I would like to develop my career in which I think I'd be well suited to and passionate about. I've talked about these routs with people I know and respect (or if you don't really have many people you can talk to, go online, just like you've done with this thread) for their advice.

Whether writing helps you or not I don't know. But you're taking the right steps with stuff like this thread. Engage with others, read books, google stuff online. But know that further to all of this... I can only really make the decision myself. It's on me. Or you. Only YOU can drive what happens in your life.

Basically, I spose what I'm saying is get a plan and then go and make that plan happen. Focus this plan on YOURSELF: what you can do do to make yourself happy and be successful in your life. Personaly,, I would think about girls only after you are on board with, and making, the plan happen. Girls will come in due course once you have sorted yourself out in terms of your life. Women are more attracted to, and ready to be with, guys who are stable and happy in their life. Believe me, I have learnt this the hard way.

I think you are in a good position mate. Your 'eyes are wide open'. You are a single bloke, no commitments, decent amount of money in the bank, approaching an age (30s) where most women tend to prefer men. The fact you're aware of what's gone wrong previously is massive for me - you may be late, but it's better to work this out late than never!!

Go out and do it. And have fun while you're at it. Make sure you're always enjoying what you're doing. Otherwise, what's the point. That's the single most important thing I can say...

Good luck man. Believe it and it will happen!
 
Was sort of in a similar situation in 2002. 25 years old, no education to speak of, was living on my own, but doing crappy jobs for low pay. Together with major girlfriend issues at the time, this gave me a kick up the backside, and at that "now or never" moment I applied for uni in Australia, got my journalism degree and basically pulled myself together.

Twelve years later, I'm married, in a proper, well paid job that I enjoy, owning my apartment and basically in a much, much better place than I was. I have been fortunate at times during these past 12 years, but I believe you make your own fortunes if you want it and work hard enough for it.

My best advice is to do something - apathy and laziness is your worst enemies, and while I know it can be very hard to break out of a habit of not doing anything, you should focus all energy on getting up, getting out and getting on your way to where you want to be. The tricky part, I know, is to find out where that is. I would think back to school, to the jobs you've had, your hobbies, and find out if there was something there that tickled your interest, something you enjoyed doing.

This could be anything from the simple to the more advanced: If you enjoy driving, position yourself to get a job as some sort of driver. If you enjoyed chemistry at school, why not go for a degree? If you enjoy being around people, then maybe you should work with people. Are you a convincing fella, maybe sales is something for you?

It's a cliche, but the opportunities are actually endless. You will need to work hard to first find out what you want to do, and to get where you want to be - and even if you feel like you have wasted a decade, you are still young. I got my first proper job at 28. So you can do this!

Coincidentally, this week I'm interviewing a 49 year old woman, who after 25 years working as an accountant, decided she wanted to be a cop. She will be graduating this summer, after three years at the police academy.

Morale of the story? It's never too late. Good luck!
 
7% - i don't know the ins and outs but google TEFL

afaik it's a basic course/qualification which once completed allows you to start in places such as SE Asia
 
I second/third the travelling suggestions. If you have got no major ties/mortgage/wife and family etc etc then go and see all the things you always wanted to. On the way you will meet people, and build a network that might help give you some direction. Building and maintaining a network of contacts is really important if you want to get on and be happy in the modern world of careers/work.

I'd also suggest doing a 360 exercise, painful as it might be. Ask a bunch of people who know you well, what they think your strengths and weaknesses are, the things that are you good at and not so good at. It is a useful reality check.

And if you decide not to go travelling, think about what you enjoy doing the most, then do a bit of research find some people who are doing that/part of that world, contact them and see if you can get 20 minutes of their time to ask them how they got there - a bit of realism is required here i.e. being a professional footballer is probably out. But it is still possible to make a career change at your age if you want. Ray Kroc was in his 50s when he bought McDonald's -after being in the Red Cross and a milkshake mixer salesman. David Oglivy was an Aga salesman, farmer, opinion pollster and chef before founding ad agency Ogilvy & Mather in his late 30s. There are many other examples.

That is assuming this is not some kind of masters sociology project.
 
Danners9 said:
For every reward there is a cost as well and you have to balance time vs money and money vs happiness. What's the point being rich and miserable or rich and have no time to do anything.

There's no right answer and making a 'mistake' is part of the learning experience.
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I hope you don't mind, i edited your post (which I read and enjoyed -well done to you!) to what's above, because basically, that is it. Right there. That's the truth.
 
I'm 29 now, and was going through something similar at a younger age - 23 - and I found a 6 month trip to Central America was exactly what I needed. Obviously everyone is different, but at the very least going travelling can provide a change in environment that can act as a catalyst for a change as a person.
 
thfcsteff said:
I hope you don't mind, i edited your post (which I read and enjoyed -well done to you!) to what's above, because basically, that is it. Right there. That's the truth.
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You can spend all your time making money. You can spend all your love making time.
If it all fell to pieces tomorrow, would you still be mine? :)
 
To the OP. I went to Uni and got a good job after... worked really hard, got promotions...worked ever since... never really had the chance (or b@lls) to jack it in and go travelling as once you're on the treadmill with a house, partner, good job you feel trapped into keeping that good thing going.

Go travelling while you can. You are very lucky you are in teaching as you can teach English all over the world. You also have £12k!

You are so lucky, you've got way more positives than negatives, just join a teaching abroad course and jump in, you have nothing to lose except your an@l virginity.

OK, forget the last bit.
 
I would suggest go travelling while you can, I did it and saw places people could only dream of and countries people envy me for visiting. Do it, its a damn experience and a half.

BUT

I would also suggest that you have a clear plan in place long term, over what you actually want to do - this should be based on your interests and your ambitions. The longer you leave it and brushed under the carpet the more difficult it becomes to actually establish yourself long term... a vicious cycle and then it would be a case of 'what ifs'. The great thing nowadays is that there are so many training courses that dont require degrees to partake in which means there are so many careers out there. Not all those careers will be suited to you but thats something that you need to establish yourself as none of us cant really help.

Ive always thought being a chef is something great but if you dont love cooking etc then youll end up being stuck in a service station somewhere at little chef. It all depends what your interests are.
 
7% if you do go travelling we expect (demand) regularly posted picture updates of your journey around the world. (preferably in full Spurs kit?)
 
don't tell them you have 12k in the bank or you'll end up brainwashed in to some pyramid scheme.


as an aside - this place could do with some investment :-"
 
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