This is easy, one man, who we can put in both cm slots as he is a big enough clam to think he could handle it, although, ironically, on the pitch he spent his time exclusively not being where he should have been.
He'll also be our captain, whether anointed or not he'll just take it, there are no limits to the delusions of grandeur this man has, be it in the dressing room or on the dance floor. Publicly milking the adulation of the odious fans of his employers for his perceived loyalty after crying on an underworld shoulder. Similarly, despite his legend status the defining moments of his career were ill thought back passes and missed footing.
Regardless of football, this man is one of the biggest clams ever to walk the earth, a monumental scumbag, a shoe in for our eleven, ladies and gentlemen, steven fudging gerrard.