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The poo & guff thread...

Just weighed myself this morning and was 12st 10 (on a diet).

Then had a 2 day build up of a poo and emptied the truck, weighed myself. 12st 8.

Wife is also on a diet and the scales are in the bathroom I took said dump in. She needs to weigh herself too.

Marvellous.
 
Had a very tasty Xmas sarnie at Liverpool Street at 12.15pm, my GHod the smell of my farts already though
Extremely festive !!!
 
Since having COVID my Mrs still has zero sense of smell but the sad news for me is that since I've recovered from having COVID I have literally farted 3 times in a week !!
What is happening !!!!!
 
markysimmo said:
Since having COVID I have honestly hardly farted
Click to expand...

Probably killed your digestive biota.

I cut out dairy and beer some time ago and have had a couple of poops that smelled strongly of yeast. I figured my internal biota was changing for the better to match my healthier diet. You can get over run with candida and I think perhaps I was.

My whole digestive system has been a lot better since.
 
So I am on some new medication and it is pretty strong, last night I was in the shower and cleaning my bum as I always do pulling the cheeks apart I felt a little bit of dried poo up there.

So I pulled them right apart put my finger up there to give it a good clean. But I must have put my finger to high up because I unplugged the dam. It was pure filth a torrent of brown water flew out, scaring the hell out of me. I kept my finger there I guess trying to stop it, not sure what I was thinking. After about ten seconds I took my finger away and a massive dump flew out onto the floor.

I had to pick up my own poo and put it in the toilet. I cleaned up as well as I could. Used a whole bottle of coconut shower gel to get rid of the smell. Really glad the wife gets the cleaner a Christmas present every year.

I shall be having a word with my consultant next time I see him. Been scared to leave the house since.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
So I am on some new medication and it is pretty strong, last night I was in the shower and cleaning my bum as I always do pulling the cheeks apart I felt a little bit of dried poo up there.

So I pulled them right apart put my finger up there to give it a good clean. But I must have put my finger to high up because I unplugged the dam. It was pure filth a torrent of brown water flew out, scaring the hell out of me. I kept my finger there I guess trying to stop it, not sure what I was thinking. After about ten seconds I took my finger away and a massive dump flew out onto the floor.

I had to pick up my own poo and put it in the toilet. I cleaned up as well as I could. Used a whole bottle of coconut shower gel to get rid of the smell. Really glad the wife gets the cleaner a Christmas present every year.

I shall be having a word with my consultant next time I see him. Been scared to leave the house since.
Click to expand...

upload_2022-1-11_10-52-36.png
 
Went to the Leisure Centre to watch my youngest go swimming
They have plastic chairs
I thought I could squeeze a little one out but I underestimated the loudness, my word !!
Was funny as though, my Mrs was annoyed as I kept laughing about it for about 45 minutes afterwards
 
Eldest just blocked the toilet up with a monster log and a tampon and a shed tonne of baby wipes
Amazing girl well done, she literally has zero brains
 
Mooresinho said:
Just weighed myself this morning and was 12st 10 (on a diet).

Then had a 2 day build up of a poo and emptied the truck, weighed myself. 12st 8.

Wife is also on a diet and the scales are in the bathroom I took said dump in. She needs to weigh herself too.

Marvellous.
Click to expand...
Just a sidenote on the UK measurements; when are you guys going to step out of the stone age (pun intended) and start using proper units, instead of using various body limbs, rocks, barrels, gardens and GHod knows what for measuring? :D
 
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