You are very brave posting that. My feelings have sometimes got somewhere approaching what you describe. I had to leave a Spurs WhatsApp group after the Pool home game last season. It all got too much. I regret just leaving slightly, even though I explained why to my good mate in it, the other three are his mates. One of the guys was just an over-bearing, know-all clam, and I don’t miss his snarky comments in the slightest.Not sure if serious but I'd like to say I'm a more positive fan than not, but the last 2 years has taken its toll on my mental health, ie putting games before my now 2 kids (new baby girl in July), going out and getting on it for games and missing important family events etc.
After the West Ham game last season (3-3) I was devastated and my wife came back to me drunk, topless, alone and my spurs shirt ripped up on the floor asking me what the hell happened.
I need to try and switch off from Spurs as mentally the losses make me depressed, so the less I get involved, the less the impact of the negative result affects me, if that makes sense. If I don't see it I don't feel the result?
Just not enjoyable for me watching Spurs games, even now watching 30 minutes of the Arsenal game (normally I'd watch all 90), I think about it at night of what could have been, ie the signing of Tomiyasu over Emerson and its not healthy. I'd rather put my son to sleep tonight and talk to him at 8pmin bed whilst he nods off than put the game on and watch Spurs.
Sunday was the same, I had my brother and his family round for dinner so we could watch the game, yet at 2 nil was fuming, so switched it off and then played with my son and nephew in our cul de sac which they loved, that was much more soul filling than watching Spurs.
For some I get that Spurs is their life, and it used to be for me now but something has to change for me. I can't let if affect my life anymore.
Sorry for the life story but thought it would be best to put my side across, if every now and again I do come across more negative than positive.
Spurs may not need supporters like me, but I in fact don't need a club like Spurs in my life right now, successful or not, it appears.
I’ve been through a similar epiphany this year re family - I had a little boy in April and it’s changed my perspective on life so very much. I made the City game, which was wonderful but have been unable to reach the others as my partner is suffering from quite severe post natal depression. It sure puts things in perspective and helps you focus on what is truly important. My mental health is something that I’ve also struggled with over the last five years, with many ups and downs, but I know my triggers and how to manage pretty well now.
Well done for recognising what you need to do for the best. As @Glenda's Legs says, football can wrap its tentacles round you like no other sport can. Bill Shankly was wrong, the idiot.
Take care of yourself.
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