Re: Jermain Defoe
There was a time when Jermain Defoe might have grown exasperated by life on the periphery with club and country. The striker can complete a half-century of caps in Moldova on Friday, though if he starts, it will still feel surprising given his role is that of the perennial substitute. Back at Tottenham Hotspur he spent the summer wondering whether another new manager might be inclined to ship him elsewhere; his future was in doubt right up to the eve of the transfer deadline.
Once all that would have felt as demoralising as it is frustrating. Yet, for Defoe a sense of perspective now prevails. The 29-year-old lost his father, Jimmy, to throat cancer during Euro 2012. Then, while the striker was on a pre-season tour of the United States with his club, his cousin Hannah – nine years his junior – was electrocuted as she dived into a swimming pool in St Lucia. "When you are young, nothing is more important than football," he said. "But, as you get older, you get married, have kids, lose people … Then you realise your family is more important."
Defoe has had to deal with too many family tragedies over recent years. This is a player who lost his half brother, Jade "Gavin" Defoe, following an assault in Leytonstone three years ago, before the summer's traumas left him scarred. He was with Jimmy Defoe when his father's cancer was first diagnosed, there to offer comfort and prayers, only for his father's health to deteriorate before the tournament in Poland and Ukraine. He had expected to have to make the painful journey home at some stage, with the England management staff having offered their own support throughout those difficult last few weeks.
That he has maintained his focus through the tail-end of last season, through the warm-up fixtures and into the finals themselves is remarkable. "It was difficult for my family, and hard for me," he said. "From day one, when he was diagnosed, I was with him from that first meeting in the hospital. I had to tell Dad it would be OK, and to be positive, to keep praying and have faith. I have always known about cancer but to be around someone and see what it does to them in such a short space of time was mad.
"It makes you think about your life: you have to keep your friends close, and your family too. The manager [Roy Hodgson] was brilliant before the Euros. We had a training camp [at London Colney] and, every afternoon, I'd get in my car to go down to the Royal Marsden hospital to spend a few hours with my dad. The manager told me to make sure I saw him every afternoon and just come back for the meetings. That was so nice. It helps when you feel you can approach the manager and speak about things other than just football.
"My cousin … she was only 20. You have to ask questions when things like that happen. It was so sad. Now the only time I am really at peace is when I am training and playing. Obviously, when you are on your own, you start thinking about stuff. You think about your life. You don't know for sure whether you will be here tomorrow. But you have to be strong."
Defoe dedicated his magnificent winning goal in last month's friendly in Italy to Hannah, who would have turned 21 on the day after the game. Even his career high points are offered a more grounded context these days.
He travels to Chisinau on Thursday as England's senior forward – presumably competing with Danny Welbeck for a lone role given the absence of Andy Carroll through injury – as the national side set out on their World Cup qualification campaign. The Spurs striker goes armed with a new three-year contract at White Hart Lane that materialised almost as if from the ether just as suggestions intensified that he might be on the verge of departing. He is now "settled", content and relishing life under André Villas-Boas, even if there is a sense of relief that the turmoil surrounding the transfer deadline has subsided.
"That was all a bit mad," he added. "I had my wisdom tooth out, so wasn't around for a day and, when I came back, Tom [Huddlestone] had gone to Stoke [he would eventually return having failed to sign at the Britannia stadium] and someone else had gone as well. I said to the lads: 'I miss one day and all the players are leaving.' But it's all something you get used to. There will be a lot of changes and sometimes it takes time. Just as it takes time for the manager to get used to the players. I'm sure we will come through fine." A sense of perspective prevails.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/...aps-tragedy?utm_source=API&utm_medium=twitter