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Life advice for your children

Danishfurniturelover

Danishfurniturelover

the prettiest spice girl
My son has often told me I'm a mad opinionated crazy old fool.

This morning though he said to me "you know when you told me to be careful of anyone who accuses you of over thinking things, because they are the ones that will try and scam you"

I said yep,

"Will you were right"

He walks off with a tear in his eye. I asked him if he wants to talk about it. He does not answer.

We have what might be our last family holiday in August, he is going inter railing with his girlfriend for a month and they are finishing up in Italy where the wife and I are renting a house for a couple of weeks. Then in September he is off to Bristol for university.

I said to Lucy I don't think we have done enough if people are playing him and he is not seeing them coming. One of my talents, maybe the only one, is reading people. By 15 I could read a room in minutes. My boy, he is trusting, hopefully as he deals more and more with women he will realise how manipulative and underhand people can be.

So I have 2 weeks with him later this summer, what snippets would you guys pass onto your kids to set them up in the world.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
My son has often told me I'm a mad opinionated crazy old fool.

This morning though he said to me "you know when you told me to be careful of anyone who accuses you of over thinking things, because they are the ones that will try and scam you"

I said yep,

"Will you were right"

He walks off with a tear in his eye. I asked him if he wants to talk about it. He does not answer.

We have what might be our last family holiday in August, he is going inter railing with his girlfriend for a month and they are finishing up in Italy where the wife and I are renting a house for a couple of weeks. Then in September he is off to Bristol for university.

I said to Lucy I don't think we have done enough if people are playing him and he is not seeing them coming. One of my talents, maybe the only one, is reading people. By 15 I could read a room in minutes. My boy, he is trusting, hopefully as he deals more and more with women he will realise how manipulative and underhand people can be.

So I have 2 weeks with him later this summer, what snippets would you guys pass onto your kids to set them up in the world.
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Shake yourself from materialism/consumerism as quickly as possible.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
My son has often told me I'm a mad opinionated crazy old fool.

This morning though he said to me "you know when you told me to be careful of anyone who accuses you of over thinking things, because they are the ones that will try and scam you"

I said yep,

"Will you were right"

He walks off with a tear in his eye. I asked him if he wants to talk about it. He does not answer.

We have what might be our last family holiday in August, he is going inter railing with his girlfriend for a month and they are finishing up in Italy where the wife and I are renting a house for a couple of weeks. Then in September he is off to Bristol for university.

I said to Lucy I don't think we have done enough if people are playing him and he is not seeing them coming. One of my talents, maybe the only one, is reading people. By 15 I could read a room in minutes. My boy, he is trusting, hopefully as he deals more and more with women he will realise how manipulative and underhand people can be.

So I have 2 weeks with him later this summer, what snippets would you guys pass onto your kids to set them up in the world.
Click to expand...

I always tell my lad to be himself and to never settle for anything less than what makes him happy.
 
Trust no one.
Own your mistakes.
Don’t count your money until its in the bank.
Spend less than you earn.
Be nice to your family and friends, even if they don't always deserve it.
There's no peace in envy or grudges.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
My son has often told me I'm a mad opinionated crazy old fool.

This morning though he said to me "you know when you told me to be careful of anyone who accuses you of over thinking things, because they are the ones that will try and scam you"

I said yep,

"Will you were right"

He walks off with a tear in his eye. I asked him if he wants to talk about it. He does not answer.

We have what might be our last family holiday in August, he is going inter railing with his girlfriend for a month and they are finishing up in Italy where the wife and I are renting a house for a couple of weeks. Then in September he is off to Bristol for university.

I said to Lucy I don't think we have done enough if people are playing him and he is not seeing them coming. One of my talents, maybe the only one, is reading people. By 15 I could read a room in minutes. My boy, he is trusting, hopefully as he deals more and more with women he will realise how manipulative and underhand people can be.

So I have 2 weeks with him later this summer, what snippets would you guys pass onto your kids to set them up in the world.
Click to expand...

We are force-fed so much negativity and caution in our lifetimes that it’s easy to forget how beautiful it is to simply live.

You come across as a very good Dad. I doubt you need to tell him much beyond ‘everything will always be ok’, ‘I love you’ and ‘fudge those gooner clams’
 
scaramanga said:
Never stick it in crazy. No matter how much fun it is.
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im not sure I agree… that crazy pussy is different level.

I would definitely not marry crazy. But you know some of my most amazing sexual experience have definitely been with different levels of crazy. I m not sure I would change that.
 
DTA said:
im not sure I agree… that crazy pussy is different level.

I would definitely not marry crazy. But you know some of my most amazing sexual experience have definitely been with different levels of crazy. I m not sure I would change that.
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Once you stick it in, you can't get away. That's why you never stick it in crazy.
 
Firstly it is not a bad or unnatural thing to raise a child to be a good person or to try and protect them from the darker side of life. There will also be other things that your son is better equipped to deal with because of this.

The important thing is he learns from the experience, he may take more advice from you more seriously now he had evidence that maybe you do know what you are on about. We all go through a stage where we think we know best, but it certainly wasn't forever in my case.

I have similar fears for my son, I grew up on a Council estate and he goes to an independent school. My concern is he won't be exposed to the bad things I was to learn from them, but that's no reason to expose him to them. Conversely there are other aspects of life I felt quite exposed to as an adult that I had to learn on the spot which he won't have to, so just have faith that if he has good values, a reasonable brain and your support he will do just fine.

What just happened to him might save him from a worse scam while he is inter railing and I'm sure Uni will round of some edges too.
 
The cynical ones I impressed upon my kids were:
  • If something looks to good to be true, then it normally is.
  • Always look for the angle, very few people in life are truly altruistic
  • Never fully trust someone until you know they trust you
  • Mum and Dad have seen all this brick before and you will not shock or hurt them if you need advice or help, and if you don't feel like you can confide in them then go to an Aunt or Uncle or Grandparent, they will all help because they know family is important
The main other one was:
  • Build a life that makes you intrinsically happy, not materially happy or event happy, shape your own narrative to be happy in the here and now and maintain a positive outlook. Its hard work, but it can be done.

Oh and if you do 'do crazy' make sure you leave a fake name and never, ever go back.
 
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