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Im John Le Carre

Danishfurniturelover

Danishfurniturelover

the prettiest spice girl
So we lost the spare key, which was kept in the shed underneath the shoe cleaning kit. I turned the whole fcuking place upside down and inside out. So eventually found the spare key in the wifes car when i was cleaning it this week.

So what I did was hide the key under the onion bag in the shed to test the wife.

She went into the shed tonight to get some onions, to get to the bag she moved by bicycle. Came in the house and said she had found the spare key and that it had dropped out of the bag on my handlebars when she moved the bike.

Now because part of my illness has been mood swings I am not now allowed to react to anything, well men in general are not allowed to react when women play there stupid fcuking games.

Anyway just wanted to do a quick straw poll,

should I kill the cnut?


genuine question.
 
You should defo sign her up for sky diving classes, bungee jumping and the Cliffs of Dover free climbing challenge .

Sent fra min SM-G960F via Tapatalk
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
So we lost the spare key, which was kept in the shed underneath the shoe cleaning kit. I turned the whole fcuking place upside down and inside out. So eventually found the spare key in the wifes car when i was cleaning it this week.

So what I did was hide the key under the onion bag in the shed to test the wife.

She went into the shed tonight to get some onions, to get to the bag she moved by bicycle. Came in the house and said she had found the spare key and that it had dropped out of the bag on my handlebars when she moved the bike.

Now because part of my illness has been mood swings I am not now allowed to react to anything, well men in general are not allowed to react when women play there stupid fcuking games.

Anyway just wanted to do a quick straw poll,

should I kill the cnut?


genuine question.
Click to expand...
If she can lie so easily about that, it would make me wonder what else she’s been capable of lying about down the years....

Anyway, what are you doing cleaning her car?!! She can pay people to do that sort of brick nowadays.
 
PS - did John le Carre hide keys under bags on onions then? I’m yet to read him, but the premise isn’t the most captivating at first mention.
 
The key probably fell onto to the ground when she moved the onions and she assumed it had tumbled from the handlebar bag because what weirdo would conceal a key under onions? She comes out of this rather better than you do, to be honest.

And now you will be triggered whenever a commentator says something trite about hitting the bottom of the onion bag.
 
ShipOfGoldblum said:
The key probably fell onto to the ground when she moved the onions and she assumed it had tumbled from the handlebar bag because what weirdo would conceal a key under onions? She comes out of this rather better than you do, to be honest.

And now you will be triggered whenever a commentator says something trite about hitting the bottom of the onion bag.
Click to expand...

unless she hid the key in the car, knowing he would find it whilst cleaning...
 
ShipOfGoldblum said:
The key probably fell onto to the ground when she moved the onions and she assumed it had tumbled from the handlebar bag because what weirdo would conceal a key under onions? She comes out of this rather better than you do, to be honest.

And now you will be triggered whenever a commentator says something trite about hitting the bottom of the onion bag.
Click to expand...
But the key was directly under the bag of onions. She must have known.

I have known for many years the whole world is against me. Now I have my smoking gun.
 
ShipOfGoldblum said:
Shoe cleaning kits should live in the cupboard under the stairs and onions should live in the larder, so for all we know they keep keys, glasses and wallets in the car anyway, as a matter of course.
Click to expand...

The shoe cleaning kit used to live in the utility room. She moved it to the shed because and i quote, chemicals.

The onions are in the shed with everything else she brings back from the allotment she shares with her friend. I won't have them in the house till we cook them as they pong too much.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
The shoe cleaning kit used to live in the utility room. She moved it to the shed because and i quote, chemicals.

The onions are in the shed with everything else she brings back from the allotment she shares with her friend. I won't have them in the house till we cook them as they pong too much.
Click to expand...

Fair enough. I used to make Mrs SoT eat epoisse in the shed.
 
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