• Dear Guest, Please note that adult content is not permitted on this forum. We have had our Google ads disabled at times due to some posts that were found from some time ago. Please do not post adult content and if you see any already on the forum, please report the post so that we can deal with it. Adult content is allowed in the glory hole - you will have to request permission to access it. Thanks, scara

Children

Jurgen the German

Jurgen the German

Erik Thorstvedt
First of all before I potentially offend anyone I’d like to say that I like children for the most part and want to become a father one day. That said, does anyone else find some children just unbearable to be around? I guess I’m at an age where the thought of becoming a father is on my mind a lot so I observe my mates’ kids and ask questions about parenthood.

Clingy children are the worst, crying whenever their mum leaves the room, not doing anything themselves including feeding themselves even past the age of 2-3. I know people who still breastfeed their children at four and five. Many people might see I don’t have a say in this as I don’t have kids but isn’t that too old to be breastfeeding?

Do people think that parents make a child clingy or is the child’s personality?
 
[QUOTE="Jurgen the German, post: 1213112, member: 738"

Do people think that parents make a child clingy or is the child’s personality?[/QUOTE]

It is the parents that make the child clingy and a pain in the arse. My son I am told I was tough on growing up, he is now 15 and f course moody as he is a teenager but he is also well behaved polite and knows how to sit quietly. I find on the most part asian and particularly muslim kids the best behaved, and why do you think that is?

Because the parents bring them up correctly, teaching them to respect their elders and work hard. I bet most of the children you find irritating have parents who follow all that modern crap about not telling them off and being their friend first. Let me tell you something that should be obvious, it does not work with dogs and it does not work with children.

Children may try to rebel against it to start with but they like structure. Also you have to follow through on threats, if your out and you threaten to take your child home when they misbehave then you have to follow through or they will know they can walk all over you. Also if they wee in the house once they are over 3 years old you can roll up a newspaper and hit them on the nose much the same as you can with a dog.
 
Danishfurniturelover said:
[QUOTE="Jurgen the German, post: 1213112, member: 738"

Do people think that parents make a child clingy or is the child’s personality?
Click to expand...

It is the parents that make the child clingy and a pain in the arse. My son I am told I was tough on growing up, he is now 15 and f course moody as he is a teenager but he is also well behaved polite and knows how to sit quietly. I find on the most part asian and particularly muslim kids the best behaved, and why do you think that is?

Because the parents bring them up correctly, teaching them to respect their elders and work hard. I bet most of the children you find irritating have parents who follow all that modern crap about not telling them off and being their friend first. Let me tell you something that should be obvious, it does not work with dogs and it does not work with children.

Children may try to rebel against it to start with but they like structure. Also you have to follow through on threats, if your out and you threaten to take your child home when they misbehave then you have to follow through or they will know they can walk all over you. Also if they wee in the house once they are over 3 years old you can roll up a newspaper and hit them on the nose much the same as you can with a dog.[/QUOTE]

Yeah I agree. I can cite my own childhood as evidence that parents should follow through when they make a threat and children definitely need boundaries so they know what’s what. When i see parents these days many of them are negotiating with their kids. I’m only comparing parents to when I grew up, I’m drawing on my experience and that of my mates when they grew up but parents seem to have gotten weaker as time has gone by.
 
I'm not going to argue with people who have already posted, but, with respect, you have explained how you keep your children in line.

You haven't explained how you have equipped your children to cope in the real world, to thrive, to be successful, to make make the correct moral decisions, to be happy, to choose the correct credit card.
 
7percent said:
I'm not going to argue with people who have already posted, but, with respect, you have explained how you keep your children in line.

You haven't explained how you have equipped your children to cope in the real world, to thrive, to be successful, to make make the correct moral decisions, to be happy, to choose the correct credit card.
Click to expand...

Private school takes care of the education, the wife takes care of the rest.

If he is not polite to me he does not get to go to his tennis club. Also gone to great lengths to explain how tough life is and he has been privileged compared to a lot.
 
Children......are expensive......

I have huge respect for anyone that wants to raise children and hopefully to better the community.
But it's a no from me - no desire to dedicate 18 years and hundreds of thousands of pounds.
Thank you to all the parents whose kids will serve me coffee in the future.
 
monkeybarry said:
Children......are expensive......

I have huge respect for anyone that wants to raise children and hopefully to better the community.
But it's a no from me - no desire to dedicate 18 years and hundreds of thousands of pounds.
Thank you to all the parents whose kids will serve me coffee in the future.
Click to expand...

From friends with older children i dont think it ends at18
 
As the original funny man said - "I like kids, but I couldn't eat a whole one". I never wanted kids, neither did my wife. We did not think we would be good parents. May be it was a lack of responsibility issue, as it did cross our minds. What I don't get is the parents that have 5 and 6 kids in this day and age when the world is clogged up with people. Then they bring them all to the supermarket at once and ignore them.
 
Everyone is different and you only see what people will let through, I have two kids who are pretty good most of the time but there are trying moments, I know now not to judge the kid having a melt down on the supermarket floor and the parent at the end of their tether resorting to screaming as I’ve not seen the events that have led there.

My wife nearly attacked a woman at a motorway services because she overheard comments about us feeding our daughter fast food, oblivious to the fact that we’d been stuck in traffic for hours exhausting supplies and that due to a combination of food allergies some meat and chips from a global company with a readily available allergy ingredient list was the safest option.

Context is key.
 
7percent said:
I'm not going to argue with people who have already posted, but, with respect, you have explained how you keep your children in line.

You haven't explained how you have equipped your children to cope in the real world, to thrive, to be successful, to make make the correct moral decisions, to be happy, to choose the correct credit card.
Click to expand...


With the greatest respect I disagree.
Children learn from their earliest interactions and those lessons shape them and stay with them all their lives.
By teaching a child that each of their actions, inactions and interactions have a consequence, good and bad, you are teaching them how life really is.
Too many people grow up thinking that life has no consequences, you can walk away from your mistakes with no more than a shrug of the shoulders and the expectation someone else will sort it out.

It also never seems to amaze me how a lot of parents seem to think someone elses child's behaviour is unacceptable but it's OK when theirs do it.
 
My kids are driving me crazy. It's damn hard work and I'm physically and mentally deteriorating rapidly from having small kids. 90% of the time I feel clueless about what to do, but I just try my best and hope I don't raise two sociopaths. In hindsight, having kids was a rash and irrational decision.

On the other hand, there are many sweet moments. Nothing beats the joy from having your four year old randomly telling you how she loves you. Or seeing the pride they get from learning new things and showing it to you. I also massively enjoy showing the kids new stuff, playing them a new song, taking them somewhere they've never ever seen before, watching a new movie, etc.

Also for me, the whole concept of being a family has changed. We’re stronger and better as a unit now. We go places and see things together. I never thought about how it would be to have a family before I had kids.

Bottom line? It's completely irrational, but I'd do it all again, even if I knew what I was going through. The sleepless nights, constant fighting, diapers, crying and nagging, the complete disruption of balance in my life, the loss of time and energy to do my own stuff and take care of myself - I'd willingly do it again, because that's what having kids has done to me. I love the little bastards, and I can't imagine a life without being a dad. Come to think of it, I don't even remember how it was.
 
galeforce said:
Everyone is different and you only see what people will let through, I have two kids who are pretty good most of the time but there are trying moments, I know now not to judge the kid having a melt down on the supermarket floor and the parent at the end of their tether resorting to screaming as I’ve not seen the events that have led there.

My wife nearly attacked a woman at a motorway services because she overheard comments about us feeding our daughter fast food, oblivious to the fact that we’d been stuck in traffic for hours exhausting supplies and that due to a combination of food allergies some meat and chips from a global company with a readily available allergy ingredient list was the safest option.

Context is key.
Click to expand...

We all know you just wanted to play with the toy in the happy meal.
 
Jurgen the German said:
First of all before I potentially offend anyone I’d like to say that I like children for the most part and want to become a father one day. That said, does anyone else find some children just unbearable to be around? I guess I’m at an age where the thought of becoming a father is on my mind a lot so I observe my mates’ kids and ask questions about parenthood.

Clingy children are the worst, crying whenever their mum leaves the room, not doing anything themselves including feeding themselves even past the age of 2-3. I know people who still breastfeed their children at four and five. Many people might see I don’t have a say in this as I don’t have kids but isn’t that too old to be breastfeeding?

Do people think that parents make a child clingy or is the child’s personality?
Click to expand...

Bit of both, IMO.

I see expecting couples all the time saying "My kid is going to be like this..." or "My kid is going to be like that..." and I laugh at them.

I have three. Each one is their own person and completely different. A huge amount of their personality, likes, dislikes, good and bad behaviour is just innate, they are what they are and theres no parenting will change it.

Then, of course, there is the more learned behaviours, which is where parenting plays a real part. Like Danish - I make sure my kids are polite and respectful, I make sure they know what is right and what is wrong, and I do my best to teach them they need to work hard in life to succeed.

None of mine have been particularly clingy, and IMO that is more of a learned than natural behaviour, but sometimes it just is what it is.
 
glasgowspur said:
With the greatest respect I disagree.
Children learn from their earliest interactions and those lessons shape them and stay with them all their lives.
By teaching a child that each of their actions, inactions and interactions have a consequence, good and bad, you are teaching them how life really is.
Too many people grow up thinking that life has no consequences, you can walk away from your mistakes with no more than a shrug of the shoulders and the expectation someone else will sort it out.

It also never seems to amaze me how a lot of parents seem to think someone elses child's behaviour is unacceptable but it's OK when theirs do it.
Click to expand...
i think you're agreeing with him?
 
My kids are now 25 and 23 and we were pretty young when we had them, all I can say is that it does not stop when they hit 18 (in a way it gets worse) and that we had no idea what we was doing when raising them, looking back there are things that I would have done differently (spending less time at work for starters) but generally we instilled some discipline and good manners in them at an early age and then we just gently guided them and trusted them to do the right thing.
Don't honestly know if it was though luck or judgement but both of them have turned out as pretty decent human beings, maybe they could have achieved more if I had driven them harder but I'm glad that they are not workaholics like me and they take time to be with family and friends and enjoy the world and not just an office.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back