Business spiel

[Jurgen the German]

Anyone else get tired of hearing the same words over and over at work? Some examples:

Bespoke
Leave it/that with me
By close of play today (Didn't know we were at Wimbledon)
Synergy
Core values
KPIs
Take ownership

 

[jabbathehut]

i'll take care of it is another one. 5 hrs later still not taken care of.

 

[Superted]

I find myself using "complete the circle" a lot and want to slap myself.

 

[Spur of the moment]

Going forward ...

 

[Mr_B]

"we're going to have a conversation"
reach out
use of resources
structures in place
integral asset


to name but a hundred.

your grandchildren won't have to work as we know it and will look back at this crazy employment situation that exists today and will wonder why we bothered

 

[THFC]

'Let's park that for a second' - translation - 'I don't have a fudging clue so will need to find out'

 

[spitshine]

Get all your ducks lined up
Throw that idea into the long grass
Let's discuss cob
Do we have enough bandwidth
let's get a few easy wins " low hanging fruit"
Someone came to my desk the other day and in a discussion said he was agnostic about a decision

 

[Danishfurniturelover]

6 months ago I did not know what a KPI was, now I do and I wish I had not.

 

[jabbathehut]

he has just stepped out, to be honest,and please action this e-mail get on my nerves on a daily basis.

 

[Jurgen the German]

People getting copied in to emails annoys me, most of the time it's just arse covering. I myself even do it sometimes as you have to play the game, but I've never done it to get others into trouble.

 

[Superted]

Strategic mindset
Capability statement
Sexual harassment policy

All a load of garbage.

 

[Thebarbarian]

I wasn't aware that was part of my job description
Are you sure that's in the Dress Policy
Do you have to stand so close to me
Did you install that webcam under my desk

If I've heard them once I've heard them a thousand times!! too bloody pc nowadays

 

[NickTB]

6 months ago I did not know what a KPI was, now I do and I wish I had not.

This. Plus SLA reports. Bane of my life

 

[Papercut]

'Make the time'... Okay, then you run faster than Bolt... MAKE THE SPEED!!!

 

[markysimmo]

I have a monthly meeting with a senior manager, he literally talks management jargon/flimflam for the whole of the two hours each time, i think it's mildly amusing

 

[AVB]

Your fired

 

[glasgowspur]

This is all gold, I've a meeting tomorrow with the new head honcho at our biggest customer. I'll work as of these in that I can and this time next year we'll be millionaires!!

 

[parklane1]

Try and find a window.

 

[spurspinter1]

Your fired

Presuming you're not working in the business of English grammar guides then?

 

[Papercut]

Lady colleague wearing barely anything on a warm day: "Please shut the windows, it's freezing in here" And there you're sitting (naturally in business attire) sweating your nuts off.