I don’t understand why you people work hard to buy houses with kitchens which are fully equipped with fridges and grills and ovens and hobs and conveniently proximal sinks, but as soon as it becomes unpleasantly warm outside you spurn this optimal cooking environment and instead burn chunks of meat on unpredictable embers, like itinerants preparing roadkill squirrel on their campfires, the horror worsened by sickly sauces and damp salads and clammy bread buns. And inadequate seating. And wasps. And jollity.
I think that might be my favourite post in all my years on here. I disagree entirely, but the wording was so good if it was a political manifesto I'd vote for you.