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2020 - Pushing up the daisies

Sean Connery walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I'm wearing panties!"

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."
 
LemonadeMoney said:
Sean Connery walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I'm wearing panties!"

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."
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James bond might have got a watch from M, but I doubt tax dodging Sean connery would have.
No time the man, or Brian Cox, or Allan Cummings, who are constantly going on about how great it would be for Scotland to be independent from their foreign hide outs.
No taxes, no say, want to Swop residency if we go Indy?
No didn’t fudging think so.
Must be almost 60 years since connery lived here.
 
MKSpur said:
If you were to ask me to name three geniuses, I probably wouldn't say Einstein, Newton... I'd go Milligan, Cleese, Everett. Sessions.
Click to expand...
Behave yourself. Jesus Christ. You should ask John Cleese if he is more of a genius than Einstein and Newton.
 
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