Zlatan on… being part of a team
“Obviously you cannot have 11 Zlatans on a team (although I understand scientists are working on it with cloning technology). So in the meantime, it’s important that everyone knows his role: supporting the Zlatan and making him look good.”
Zlatan on… Ajax
“It was like being at school but for some reason they did not teach a class in Zlatan Studies. Not acceptable.”
Zlatan on… Fabio Capello
“Scary guy. But I made him fear me with the power of my mind.”
Zlatan on… David Beckham
“Not a bad looking guy but not in the Zlatan class when it comes to making the ladies come over funny.”
Zlatan on… GHod
“He’s been a big influence on me. And I know he’d say the same vice versa.”
Zlatan on… Syria
“I would go there and park my tanks on their lawn. I have several tanks. So what? I earned the money, if I want to drive a tank then I will. Or maybe I would solve the situation with diplomacy, it depends on how I felt on the day.”
Zlatan on… Gareth Bale
“Not too sure what this is. Sorry.”
Zlatan on… Arsene Wenger
“Very smart guy. I could tell he was clever as soon as he said ‘Zlatan, you are a great player’. Unfortunately he would not meet my demands (stadium to be renamed Emirates Zlatan, team to be called London Zlatan, Thierry Henry to be my butler) so unfortunately I had to laugh in his face and leave.”
Zlatan on… Trees
“I hate them. Their stupid leaves, branches, towering over me. They think they’re better than me. Newsflash: They are not.”
Zlatan on… Sir Alex Ferguson
“Just imagine what he could have achieved in his career if he’d had Zlatan.”
Zlatan on… Lionel Messi
“Like a Fiat Uno with a Ferrari’s engine. But I am a Ferrari with a Ferrari’s engine. I would like to drive my Ferrari over his tiny Fiat head.”
Zlatan on… his temper
“The fire burns within me. I’m like an engine that needs anger as its fuel. Once, my Ferrari ran out of petrol so I filled it up with my essence. I have other Ferraris now.”
Zlatan on… Laurent Blanc
“He understands me, he nurtures me, he encourages me. I often give him advice about how best to understand me. There is a lot of respect.”
Zlatan on… kicking a giant metal chest full of football kit
“Now it fears me.”
Zlatan on… Pep Guardiola
“He tried to keep me in a box and do bad things to me. Like in that movie where the guy cuts the arms legs off that woman. It was horrible. I escaped by doing something awesome and getting in my car.”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/alantyers/10291237/Zlatan-Ibrahimovic-the-world-according-to-me-in-unpublished-extracts-from-his-fictional-autobiography.html
:lol:
“Obviously you cannot have 11 Zlatans on a team (although I understand scientists are working on it with cloning technology). So in the meantime, it’s important that everyone knows his role: supporting the Zlatan and making him look good.”
Zlatan on… Ajax
“It was like being at school but for some reason they did not teach a class in Zlatan Studies. Not acceptable.”
Zlatan on… Fabio Capello
“Scary guy. But I made him fear me with the power of my mind.”
Zlatan on… David Beckham
“Not a bad looking guy but not in the Zlatan class when it comes to making the ladies come over funny.”
Zlatan on… GHod
“He’s been a big influence on me. And I know he’d say the same vice versa.”
Zlatan on… Syria
“I would go there and park my tanks on their lawn. I have several tanks. So what? I earned the money, if I want to drive a tank then I will. Or maybe I would solve the situation with diplomacy, it depends on how I felt on the day.”
Zlatan on… Gareth Bale
“Not too sure what this is. Sorry.”
Zlatan on… Arsene Wenger
“Very smart guy. I could tell he was clever as soon as he said ‘Zlatan, you are a great player’. Unfortunately he would not meet my demands (stadium to be renamed Emirates Zlatan, team to be called London Zlatan, Thierry Henry to be my butler) so unfortunately I had to laugh in his face and leave.”
Zlatan on… Trees
“I hate them. Their stupid leaves, branches, towering over me. They think they’re better than me. Newsflash: They are not.”
Zlatan on… Sir Alex Ferguson
“Just imagine what he could have achieved in his career if he’d had Zlatan.”
Zlatan on… Lionel Messi
“Like a Fiat Uno with a Ferrari’s engine. But I am a Ferrari with a Ferrari’s engine. I would like to drive my Ferrari over his tiny Fiat head.”
Zlatan on… his temper
“The fire burns within me. I’m like an engine that needs anger as its fuel. Once, my Ferrari ran out of petrol so I filled it up with my essence. I have other Ferraris now.”
Zlatan on… Laurent Blanc
“He understands me, he nurtures me, he encourages me. I often give him advice about how best to understand me. There is a lot of respect.”
Zlatan on… kicking a giant metal chest full of football kit
“Now it fears me.”
Zlatan on… Pep Guardiola
“He tried to keep me in a box and do bad things to me. Like in that movie where the guy cuts the arms legs off that woman. It was horrible. I escaped by doing something awesome and getting in my car.”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/alantyers/10291237/Zlatan-Ibrahimovic-the-world-according-to-me-in-unpublished-extracts-from-his-fictional-autobiography.html
:lol: