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what should I do with my life?

Another idea, organic fruit and veg straight from the farm. Get a van.. send out flyers.. take your orders.. pick up and deliver. Target affluent areas. Do a deal with the farmer on bulk buy, add delivery price of £5. Or you could get a fridge van and do decent farm meat.. if you do give me your flyer and I will be a definite buyer, should you cover my area. Before you know it you could have your own shop which would be your base. Used to love going to a local greengrocer.. everything used to be seasonal. You could try restaurants that are always looking for good produce.
 
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Superhudd said:
How about moving to the coast and starting up your own chippy... its a secret dream I have myself. They can be little gold mines in the right location.
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Maybe so, but the smell of oil and the heat are two far from pleasant side effects. I worked in a burger hut when I was younger, would never repeat that.
 
Rock Strongo said:
T

What kind of girl/guy do you want? Local? A bit more exotic? Blonde, dark? You need to venture where it is more likely to meet your masturbation fantasy.
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The girl I'm crazy about dumped me just after new years and listed everything I'd said in the original post as reasons why- except she was far harsher. I was going to make positive changes this year anyway, but she really hit it home. Being heart-broken and feeling useless is not a good combination.

El Guepardo said:
Realise that you need to make decisions and take action yourself, rather than sitting back and waiting for things to happen as, trust me, they never will.
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I think that's good advice. I wish when I was 18 I'd done something, anything, I think I've always been scared of making the wrong decisions. Even if I had make the wrong decisions I'd have something to show for it by now- a qualification or some life experience. I read this article the other day and it made me think that whatever I'd chosen I'd be done with by now and moving on to my next chapter; http://lifehacker.com/here-is-something-false-you-only-live-once-1341420748

My ex also mentioned this article and said how she thinks it applies to me being a nice guy but not actually achieving anything http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

braineclipse said:
Just a suggestion, but for me writing about what I think seems to help me organize my thoughts and reach some clarity, have you tried that? If you end up writing something you're comfortable sharing here then do, if there are things you want to keep to yourself perhaps share parts of it and you might get some good feedback from some of the awesome people on this forum! Even if it just ends up being for yourself spending some time really thinking about what you want and feel and organizing those thoughts in writing can't be that harmful. Get some of your dreams, where you would like to see yourself in the future and some of your fears in there.
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I actually bought a cheap laptop a few weeks ago pretty much just to write. So far it's been mainly messages to my ex that I'll never send.. It definitely helps to get thoughts out. It's therapeutic. I'd like to see how creative I can be too. I've signed up for a 'creative writing workshop' in a few weeks time. I want to try and keep my positive new years vibe going for as long as possible, by trying new things. I plan to try stand up comedy in the next few months and generally get out of my shell and try more things.

the genre spanner said:
I'm three quarters of the way through a book that my bro recommended to me called "the 4-hour work week" by Timothy Ferriss, I strongly recommend having a read. Basically the gist of it is to cut out as much of the crap that takes up your time as possible, come up with an idea but then automate as much as possible so you can then spend your time doing things you want to do - I've found it quite inspiring, haven't worked out how to enact it all yet but it's definitely got me thinking!

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Fapatalk
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I’m going to have to look that up. I’m a massive procrastinator.

El Guepardo said:
Another tip that I would suggest is to get all the skills down on a bit of paper. I know that you've said that you are lacking in education, but if you write down all the educational certificates that you have achieved, in addition to life skills then you can start getting a template of your life.

The skills could include skills of team work, if you play for a football team, or other sports team. You could include projects perhaps where you have worked with others.

I'm suggesting this as a way to think of how to formulate a CV, as an alternative option to your idea of creating your own business. You should never give up your dream but always maintain options.

You could speak to a careers adviser with National Careers Service, contactable on 0800100900. You need to have some idea where your life is heading, as they provide suggestions around your goals, they won't tell you what you should do. They will also review any CV that you wish to create.
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That sounds like a good exercise. I do have a CV. I think the most gutting thing is that I don’t feel I’ve ever reached my potential, through fear or laziness. I know I have a lot of good qualities but if I write them down it might help me work out how to utilise them.

Papercut said:
Keep yourself busy mate - when you are not busy, you get lazy IMO. And I mean worthwhile busy. If you do not have job then volunteer for good causes, it will help you get some self-worth.

Feel good about yourself - maybe try yoga too???
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I’m trying to keep busy. Earlier when I went for a run I just needed to do something. Feel better for it though. Had a day off today and went through my drawers throwing out crap. A job I’ve been meaning to do for months. Yoga could be a good call. I posted in the health and fitness thread earlier asking about martial arts. I think discipline is something I’m lacking so I’m interested in any activities that will increase it.
 
So I'm really grateful for everyone's replies, even if I haven't quoted you I've read everything and have a lot to think about. Thanks everybody.

A bit more about me- I do teaching, I'm employed on a session by session basis and the bread and butter of my work is working with primary school kids. I plan and lead my own sessions and I am actually very good at it.

My other job is front of house in an attraction. I staff the shop and answer the phones etc. It's quite basic stuff and I'm not challenged.

Teaching is an option. I do feel I'm good at it. If I went back into education I'm not sure what I'd do. Travelling is appealing, I do feel by missing out on Uni I've missed out on life experiences other people have had and travelling might give me that or another perspective. How true is this 'finding yourself' stuff? I would like to move out as well- bringing girls back here is a bit awkward so it impacts on my chances of relationships.

I do feel positive still. I feel I have a lot of potential, but harnessing that potential and showing people it's there will be tough.
 
Travelling is appealing, I do feel by missing out on Uni I've missed out on life experiences other people have had and travelling might give me that or another perspective. How true is this 'finding yourself' stuff?
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that depends on how you approach it really - 'finding yourself' is all a bit cliche/hippy for my liking, but id say my experiences on the road have entirely enriched my life and made me a better person. Id say i have a better understanding of what i want out of life and made me realize what i believe to be important in the world. not to mention all the people i have met along the way and all the amazing things i have been lucky enough see/do.

at your (our) age you'd have to think what the likelihood is of you ever being in a position to be able to do something like this again - if not now, when? putting off the serious side of life for a year in the grand scheme of things won't make much of a difference and you never know it might give you an idea of what it is you really want - rather than jumping in to something halfheartedly because you feel you have to.

don't live your life by other peoples expectations

just a thought ;)
 
First of all, fair play for being so honest.

This thread is quite timely for me. I'm also 29 and still live at home, I'm at the stage now finally where I would like my own freedom and independance but I still love living at home, I would like to move out sometime in the next 18 months.

I've just started a new job on the 2nd January. I was on a course for the first two weeks but I've had the first official day at my own office doing my day to day job. I've struggled big time to be honest. When I was shadowing people and then doing the job with someone watching behind me as I worked, I felt like most/some of the information was sinking but now I'm doing the job on my own I have no confidence, even in the things that I could actually do. I even took the step of going to my line manager at the end of the day and fronting up to her and saying that I'm struggling with a lot of aspects of the job. She was really nice and said they want to throw me in the deep end and see If I can handle it, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing as I genuinely feel I could do with at least another day of someone showing me and then watching me do the job as I feel there's no way I can carry on as things stand. I asked hundreds of questions last week but I've trained people in my own job and I know it can be frustrating when someone constantly asks you questions, but I felt like he had had enough and couldn't wait for me to take over the role and I felt like I had to pick the questions I asked rather than ask everything that was on my mind.

I really want to suceed at this job and really don't want to quit but I don't see too many other options if they so no to this request.
 
7percent said:
So I'm really grateful for everyone's replies, even if I haven't quoted you I've read everything and have a lot to think about. Thanks everybody.

A bit more about me- I do teaching, I'm employed on a session by session basis and the bread and butter of my work is working with primary school kids. I plan and lead my own sessions and I am actually very good at it.

My other job is front of house in an attraction. I staff the shop and answer the phones etc. It's quite basic stuff and I'm not challenged.

Teaching is an option. I do feel I'm good at it. If I went back into education I'm not sure what I'd do. Travelling is appealing, I do feel by missing out on Uni I've missed out on life experiences other people have had and travelling might give me that or another perspective. How true is this 'finding yourself' stuff? I would like to move out as well- bringing girls back here is a bit awkward so it impacts on my chances of relationships.

I do feel positive still. I feel I have a lot of potential, but harnessing that potential and showing people it's there will be tough.
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Read Eat, Pray, Love. It will change your life....by making you realise what a cart load of ******** some people can get away with writing and charging people to read.

From what you say, the obvious answer would be teaching. Sounds like you're good at it and it is likely one of the more rewarding professions out there. I'm a solicitor, but I don't particularly enjoy it and often think that I would have gone down the teaching route if I could do it all again. I've got a few teacher mates, and they're the happiest people I know. From what I gather, it pays a lot better than it used to as well.
 
Jesus mate that's bit drastic to be thinking of jacking so early, no?

your line manager knows she's chucking you in at the deep end (by her own admission) so they must be prepared for the potential outcome of you not grasping everything right away.

better to ask loads of questions and get it right than ask nothing and get it wrong
 
7percent said:
So I'm really grateful for everyone's replies, even if I haven't quoted you I've read everything and have a lot to think about. Thanks everybody.

A bit more about me- I do teaching, I'm employed on a session by session basis and the bread and butter of my work is working with primary school kids. I plan and lead my own sessions and I am actually very good at it.

My other job is front of house in an attraction. I staff the shop and answer the phones etc. It's quite basic stuff and I'm not challenged.

Teaching is an option. I do feel I'm good at it. If I went back into education I'm not sure what I'd do. Travelling is appealing, I do feel by missing out on Uni I've missed out on life experiences other people have had and travelling might give me that or another perspective. How true is this 'finding yourself' stuff? I would like to move out as well- bringing girls back here is a bit awkward so it impacts on my chances of relationships.

I do feel positive still. I feel I have a lot of potential, but harnessing that potential and showing people it's there will be tough.
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I have just taken an allotment, this past two weeks I have been up there a couple hours every day and the peace and tranquillity is wonderful, don't get me wrong I love my life but being there helps me bring focus and thought to my well being. An allotment is about building structure and it sets goals for different stages of the yearly cycle. And I tell you what it knocks away the cobwebs when doing it, as in fitness. As your work is only part time I would suggest filling your time which doesn't involve being at home. My rent on my plot is £40 for the whole year, its 200m2. Its the time of year where people stop and therefore easier to find vacancies. You should ring your local council.. I was laughed at by my friends, saying that's for old people.. by the end they are intrigued and see if they can have a strip of the allotment themselves lol.

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Photo was taken last week on the 13th. Will post another tomorrow. It will take a good 2 months to get the soil ready... if not next year. Anyway, just an idea.
 
billyiddo said:
Jesus mate that's bit drastic to be thinking of jacking so early, no?

your line manager knows she's chucking you in at the deep end (by her own admission) so they must be prepared for the potential outcome of you not grasping everything right away.

better to ask loads of questions and get it right than ask nothing and get it wrong
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Believe me I don't want to jack it in but I don't see why they would keep me on If I literally cannot do most of the tasks they set me. The last line was poorly worded as I really don't want to fail, if it doesn't work out then there's nothing that can be done but I won't quit. I fully understand it's very early days and the chances of me knowing even half of the job at this stage is wishful thinking but I feel like I hardly know anything and don't even know enought to get by.
 
Superhudd said:
I have just taken an allotment, this past two weeks I have been up there a couple hours every day and the peace and tranquillity is wonderful, don't get me wrong I love my life but being there helps me bring focus and thought to my well being. An allotment is about building structure and it sets goals for different stages of the yearly cycle. And I tell you what it knocks away the cobwebs when doing it, as in fitness. As your work is only part time I would suggest filling your time which doesn't involve being at home. My rent on my plot is £40 for the whole year, its 200m2. Its the time of year where people stop and therefore easier to find vacancies. You should ring your local council.. I was laughed at by my friends, saying that's for old people.. by the end they are intrigued and see if they can have a strip of the allotment themselves lol.

mb7dd5.jpg


Photo was taken last week on the 13th. Will post another tomorrow. It will take a good 2 months to get the soil ready... if not next year. Anyway, just an idea.
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That's brilliant mate and has actually got me thinking about doing likewise. Only thing holding me back is that I know next to nothing about maintaining a plot, growing produce or even basic gardening....but I may just give it a shot. Something do on the weekends.
 
There is loads of sites on the internet that help, also you will find the old codgers (lol) really like to natter and are more than willing to pass on there ideas. I bought a book which I will be using as my mainstay during the process. Its called Allotment Month by Month, it will be my bible.

Pretty much its what you put in is what you get out, everyone has told me the first year should just be potatoes, but having dug some of the soil there is potatoes already there and the previous owner must have done that last year. Still it will be a steady progression, its a work in progress and I am looking forward to challenging myself to being somewhat self sufficient at least 6 months of the year with veg and fruit. Also under the weeds I found garlic growing, it was somewhat spoiled but the smell was immense when I dug them over, all I could think was if that smells like that how good is the rest of the veg likely to be. Luckily for me the patch is near my home, and can pop onto it, I work from home too so everything fits for me.
 
Each Council will have a section on its site about allotments, for example I just went to the Haringey site and this is the web page for allotments.. they will have emails to enquire or you could phone them. As it states they have 26 sites!! Obvously look for the better area ones.

http://www.haringey.gov.uk/index/community_and_leisure/greenspaces/allotments.htm

location pdf map

http://www.haringey.gov.uk/allotment_locations.pdf

Some of the sites are self managed, and not run by the council although they are owned by the council. As shown here the emails and contacts are with the ones that are committee based by allotment owners the blank email ones will be council driven.

http://www.haringey.gov.uk/index/community_and_leisure/greenspaces/allotments/allotment-sites.htm

As for not knowing anything about growing, I can assure you it really is common sense the majority of it... sow seeds, plant them, grow and protect.. dig up and eat. Even if you covered the whole plot in Tomato plants, at my guess that would be around 150 plants at least... each plant say you get a crop of 50 tomatoes that would be 7500 tomatoes lol A tomato at Tesco I believe costs 12p.. That's £900 worth of tomato's haha.

Long term I want to have maybe Hens on my plot.. but I want to get my foot in the door with the plot first.

Hope you don't mind the hijacking OP.
 
Superhudd said:
Each Council will have a section on its site about allotments, for example I just went to the Haringey site and this is the web page for allotments.. they will have emails to enquire or you could phone them. As it states they have 26 sites!! Obvously look for the better area ones.
.

Long term I want to have maybe Hens on my plot.. but I want to get my foot in the door with the plot first.

Hope you don't mind the hijacking OP.
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Thanks for the information man. Sounds really interesting. I'm definitely going to look into it. My missus will probably think I'm having the world's most boring mid-life crisis, ha ha.

I live saaarf of the river in place called Purley, just south of Croydon. There's plenty of green sites around here so imagine it won't be too difficult to find a plot somewhere local.

Likewise, apologies to the OP for taking his thread off message!
 
There is this list too.

Non council run allotments at this link
http://www.croydon.gov.uk/contents/departments/leisure/pdf/lease-site-contacts.pdf

I had that on the council I am with about waiting lists, but I was offered 2 council plots.. rang the number of the first committee one that was nearest me and was offered a plot straight away which was more ideal for me due to location, I had a choice of two.

Remember that this is the right time to be doing this, crops are gone, rents are more likely to start and stop in January than any other time due to the growing cycle.

Good luck
 
7percent…mate…here's my tuppence…


First of all, stop looking back. That was your 20s. You're still here, no-one's hurt, you've got 12k, you still get on with your folks, it's all good. In fact, you have a fine platform from which to move.

Secondly…what is more important to you. Time? Or money? If it's time, then you need to find a job/occupation which allows you the flexibility of time whilst also being independent. The independence will be important. But give yourself a buffer. 6 months. Work towards a goal of moving into your own flatshare or something. Think about occupations/jobs which can help you achieve what you want. If it's money, then it will be all about working as hard as you can and sacrificing a private life. If it's time, then it will be about finding a flexible occupation which allows you freedom. If it's a balance, then starting off with a job where you can build skills which can then launch you into a place to become self-employed would be a good route.

Thirdly…don't judge yourself based on how it might 'look' to people, judge yourself on how it feels for/to you. At the end of the day, you are the only important person in this equation. But be honest with yourself! PERSONALLY, I'd say giving yourself regular exercise and making sure your eating/drinking is based on good nutritional value PLUS getting plenty of fresh air and sunshine are good fundamental building blocks. I would also agree with Billy; pick a place and travel.

Good luck!
 
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