I just posted this in vice
My pal stayed at mine lastnight, we both went out got smashed, he brought a girl back..
They are getting hold of each other in the front room, so I go to bed, next thing I know, this girl has got in bed with me, started kissing me, then she tossed me off and gave me a bj, putting my hands down her knickers, proper old finger blast..
This goes on for about 10 mins, then she was like I want you to fudge me but you said you dont have any condoms, I was lke yeh ive got loads in the draw, she was like no you said you dont have any, I was like nooo its my flat I know ive got loads of condoms haha, then bang she turned the light on and to her horror she thought I was my mate hahahah
OMG how funny, she got mocked to bits...