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Excuses

R

Roy1983

Edward Sheringham
Told my Missus I needed an hour to myself today to look on the net for a Mother's Day present etc for her. What she didn't know is that I bought it over a week ago and I used the time to lock myself away (Not literally) in the bedroom to play a bit of Football Manager!! She hates me playing it although its maybe once or twice a month these days.

What excuses have you had to make to do your guilty pleasures????
 
I'm not the only one who has this problem so. They are all mad, completely fudging bonkers.

Was going for a tinkle this morning and got "Where are you going?" We live in a 2 bedroom apartment, wherever I'm going, it isn't that far and if you need me, you should be able to find me.

Single life has to be better than this??
 
DeanoAustin said:
I'm not the only one who has this problem so. They are all mad, completely fudging bonkers.

Was going for a tinkle this morning and got "Where are you going?" We live in a 2 bedroom apartment, wherever I'm going, it isn't that far and if you need me, you should be able to find me.

Single life has to be better than this??
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:lol:
 
She thinks that's where I'm going when I say I'm going for a tinkle. If I told her I was going for a toss, she'd think I was going to shag the neighbour.
 
scaramanga said:
Is the neighbour hot?
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Scara I can't believe that you would ask such a thing. I'm in a committed long term relationship and couldn't dream of looking at another woman. I am scandalised and offended.

But as you took the trouble to ask - yes she is. Cracking looking Polish bird.

To be honest, often when I'm going to the toilet - it's for a toss and I'm thinking of her. I should be ashamed but I'm not.
 
DeanoAustin said:
Scara I can't believe that you would ask such a thing. I'm in a committed long term relationship and couldn't dream of looking at another woman. I am scandalised and offended.

But as you took the trouble to ask - yes she is. Cracking looking Polish bird.

To be honest, often when I'm going to the toilet - it's for a toss and I'm thinking of her. I should be ashamed but I'm not.
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Come on then, talk us through it.
 
4 out of every 5 of my posts on here are done when taking a brick. My missus thinks I should see the doctor about how long it takes me on the throne. It's the only time I get a bit of piece and can catch up on football news.
 
Superted said:
4 out of every 5 of my posts on here are done when taking a brick. My missus thinks I should see the doctor about how long it takes me on the throne. It's the only time I get a bit of piece and can catch up on football news.
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Aren't smartphones great?! I spend a good few minutes after the deed is done to check up on the world and read up about football. Who'd have thought 30 years ago that you could post on an internet forum while going for a dump?
 
Superted said:
4 out of every 5 of my posts on here are done when taking a brick. My missus thinks I should see the doctor about how long it takes me on the throne. It's the only time I get a bit of piece and can catch up on football news.
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I do often wonder how much of my post count is built from pushing one out - probably a good chunk.

Does it make you all feel a little dirty knowing what I'm doing whilst posting?
 
scaramanga said:
I do often wonder how much of my post count is built from pushing one out - probably a good chunk.

Does it make you all feel a little dirty knowing what I'm doing whilst posting?
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I think I asked this before if there's a way of seeing what site users were on before clicking on glory glory. There'd be a fair weighting towards porn at this end.

Dump -> toss -> glory glory
 
scaramanga said:
Stroke speed, grip strength, mostly as already mentioned though - we want to see pics of this fit Polish lass.
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Well, I've got a very Ernie Els type of technique. Slow and easy. I find a traditional left over right grip works best and I hold it like I'd hold a small bird. The only variation is at the moment of impact where I squeeze it like a stress ball and go at 100mph.

Understand the need for pics but short of standing at my door waiting for her to arrive, I'll struggle to get one. That would raise two problems:

1. My missus doesn't leave me take a tinkle without quizzing me. The chances of allowing me to stalk the neighbour are unlikely I'd say. Then again, you don't know until you ask I suppose.
2. Her fella is a big bloke and I think he may be able to take me in a fair fight.
 
I don't even live with my gf and I get where the OP is coming from. One of the reasons I bought a tablet is so when I'm staying at her house for a few nights I can watch tv or read or play a game without getting in the way of her family.

Only problem is she won't let me use the damn thing. As soon as I get it out she tries to distract me, or tries to get me to do something else! I keep asking her if she's got anything she needs to do, surely she needs to do some washing or get on with her studying! but she saves her studying for when I'm gone and guess what?

It's my fault she's behind in her studying!
 
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