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Embarrassing Moments

My finals at Uni. I walked into the exam hall extremely wasted and very very late as I thought exam started at 11 and not 10 (still fudgein aced the exams) anyways I came rushing in and sat down on my fudging ass in front of 400 students mid exam. I sat down but the chair was fudgein broken I didnt fudgein realise (and no I didnt fudgein break it ****s).

Another time was having sex and farted really loudly - I felt gassy and unsexy but the bitch wanted it. The bitch gets what the bitch wants grrrrr
 
I may have posted this years ago but 21st birthday. 2004. Cold February Saturday night.

I had booked a venue in a chelmsford pub and had about 80 people coming. All week my mates were saying they were going to get a male stripper in and I was really annoyed with them saying I was going to cancel etc if they did.

So on the night, I turn up at 5-30pm for a sound check as my bro and his mate were DJ'ing. I start on the stellas. People turn up at 8 and im wasted already. People were getting me shots, and I was also on the Absynth. Now I had a feeling my mates were getting me female strippers so I was worried about how my donga would look in front of my family and mates etc, so at about 9-30pm I go into the toilets where my mates were and drop my trousers and say "what do you think?"

One of my mates replied with "have a wan...!".

So, at about 10pm my mates sit me down on a chair in front of everyone on the dancefloor and funnily enough 2 female strippers come in to what I remember the song being "Like a Virgin" by Madonna.

Im completely wasted, and they whip my top off, get me on my back and start squirting baby lotion in my crack and all over me. But I suddenly remember my mates words of wisdom and decide to reach downstairs for my member and tug away, stretching it pulling it, to the utter shock of everyone and the strippers. They apparently literally did not know what to do.

My mate who said "have a wan...k!" also took about 30 pictures of this whilst it was happening and I have these on a DVD at home.

After the dance (luckily my parents went home before the strip) I walk around and fall over onto a table and knock my tooth out, I then go to the toilet, spitting blood and being violently sick and cry and am taken home. I am in bed by 11-30pm

my mate then sent a priceless email with me and my pecker out and sent it round the Internet. Highly embarrassing but I have been told and still to the day when I see mates who went to it that it was one of the best 21st birthday parties they have been to.
 
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DHSF said:
Another time was having sex and farted really loudly - I felt gassy and unsexy but the bitch wanted it. The bitch gets what the bitch wants grrrrr
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I was shagging this bird from behind (bent over my desk) once and somehow she managed to headbutt me in the nose when I was trying to change position with her. The bitch. I was absolutely hammered no doubt, but it started a stream of blood from nose. Kinky
 
GinolaGinolaGinola said:
I may have posted this years ago but 21st birthday. 2004. Cold February Saturday night.

I had booked a venue in a chelmsford pub and had about 80 people coming. All week my mates were saying they were going to get a male stripper in and I was really annoyed with them saying I was going to cancel etc if they did.

So on the night, I turn up at 5-30pm for a sound check as my bro and his mate were DJ'ing. I start on the stellas. People turn up at 8 and im wasted already. People were getting me shots, and I was also on the Absynth. Now I had a feeling my mates were getting me female strippers so I was worried about how my donga would look in front of my family and mates etc, so at about 9-30pm I go into the toilets where my mates were and drop my trousers and say "what do you think?"

One of my mates replied with "have a wan...!".

So, at about 10pm my mates sit me down on a chair in front of everyone on the dancefloor and funnily enough 2 female strippers come in to what I remember the song being "Like a Virgin" by Madonna.

Im completely wasted, and they whip my top off, get me on my back and start squirting baby lotion in my crack and all over me. But I suddenly remember my mates words of wisdom and decide to reach downstairs for my member and tug away, stretching it pulling it, to the utter shock of everyone and the strippers. They apparently literally did not know what to do.

My mate who said "have a wan...k!" also took about 30 pictures of this whilst it was happening and I have these on a DVD at home.

After the dance (luckily my parents went home before the strip) I walk around and fall over onto a table and knock my tooth out, I then go to the toilet, spitting blood and being violently sick and cry and am taken home. I am in bed by 11-30pm

my mate then sent a priceless email with me and my pecker out and sent it round the Internet. Highly embarrassing but I have been told and still to the day when I see mates who went to it that it was one of the best 21st birthday parties they have been to.
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Bloody hell :ross:=D>
 
Many moons ago I once got hammered on a 747, wrecked the upstairs bathroom, snuck downstairs as the flight crew/asst capt were arguing over who'd fudged up letting me drink like that, squeezed behind the last row of seats, continued to sneak miniatures off the cart, landed in Toronto, literally had to be helped from the plane paralytic, threw up three times in immigration lobby bins, was taken for a one-on-one interview and when the bloke asked me what the hell my problem was, I replied that i had a sensitive stomach and that air canada's food had upset it. Photo i was traveling with took pics and pinned them up on the noticeboard at the editorial meeting that following week. Instead of making me look like a c**t however, my asst editor turned on him, telling him he was the c**t for not rock n rolling it like I (unwittingly) had.

I was amazed they let me in. This was back in the mid-80s and i was a teenager on assignment. Today I'd have been arrested and deported i don't doubt.There have been more...I won't get into them here!
 
GinolaGinolaGinola said:
I may have posted this years ago but 21st birthday. 2004. Cold February Saturday night.

I had booked a venue in a chelmsford pub and had about 80 people coming. All week my mates were saying they were going to get a male stripper in and I was really annoyed with them saying I was going to cancel etc if they did.

So on the night, I turn up at 5-30pm for a sound check as my bro and his mate were DJ'ing. I start on the stellas. People turn up at 8 and im wasted already. People were getting me shots, and I was also on the Absynth. Now I had a feeling my mates were getting me female strippers so I was worried about how my donga would look in front of my family and mates etc, so at about 9-30pm I go into the toilets where my mates were and drop my trousers and say "what do you think?"

One of my mates replied with "have a wan...!".

So, at about 10pm my mates sit me down on a chair in front of everyone on the dancefloor and funnily enough 2 female strippers come in to what I remember the song being "Like a Virgin" by Madonna.

Im completely wasted, and they whip my top off, get me on my back and start squirting baby lotion in my crack and all over me. But I suddenly remember my mates words of wisdom and decide to reach downstairs for my member and tug away, stretching it pulling it, to the utter shock of everyone and the strippers. They apparently literally did not know what to do.

My mate who said "have a wan...k!" also took about 30 pictures of this whilst it was happening and I have these on a DVD at home.

After the dance (luckily my parents went home before the strip) I walk around and fall over onto a table and knock my tooth out, I then go to the toilet, spitting blood and being violently sick and cry and am taken home. I am in bed by 11-30pm

my mate then sent a priceless email with me and my pecker out and sent it round the Internet. Highly embarrassing but I have been told and still to the day when I see mates who went to it that it was one of the best 21st birthday parties they have been to.
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You absolute legend.
:ross::ross:
 
[video=youtube;JW68goC4_es]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW68goC4_es[/video]

Would have posted the gif of it but, I don't know how....

Anyway, that is perhaps the best thing I have ever read in my entire life.
 
howellandrew said:
In the past week I emabareshed when I committed something to my friends but could not complete it.:(
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2rx6wyg.jpg
 
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