I would batter someone with a sausage.
If I was to go into Roy's shop I'd put my money on the counter, Salmon one horse and the rest on another.
EDIT: Laura Haddock?
I bet your missus would be annoyed when she finds out that you've pulled it offShe's officially registered as a threat to our marriage with The Enemy.
Who is this specimen?
EDIT: Laura Haddock?
Know your plaice Roy.