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Brand new Joke thread (Not all PC)

Bullet said:
I googled this to try to understand the joke, I think it is a reference to when Del Boy tried to lean on the bar and fell through the hatch.
I think it is in poor taste to link a decent actor to that kind of slander.
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The rumours about the actor have been around for a long time, it’s not just linking him to it for a cheap joke
 
Hardly anything is made in Europe anymore. I just bought a new DAB radio and it had a label where it said
"Built in antenna"
I've got no idea where that is!
 
A British man arrives at the Sydney international airport from England. The Australian immigration worker was reviewing his documents and inquired if he had a criminal record. The British man responded “No. Is that still required?”
 
So, I was in a bar and two large women with accents are sitting across from me. I say, "COOL accents, are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them yells, "it's fudging Wales you idiot!"

So l said, "OK, are you two fudging Whales from Scotland?"
I don't remember much after that.
 
glasgowspur said:
Of course we are kind, we gave the world,

The telephone
Tv
Penicillin
Steam power
The bbc
Pneumatic tyres
Tarmac
Iron ships
Atms
Cast steel
Wire rope
Dolly the sheep
Susan boyle
Chloroform
Medical ultrasound
Insulin
Beta blockers
Refrigerator
Flush toilet
Bovril
Sherlock holmes
Richard hannay
Encyclopedia Britainnica
Peter pan
Jekyll and Hyde
Long John silver
Modern economics
The bank of England
Golf
Dave mackay
Billy connelly
Deep Friday everything
Heart disease (OK we didn't invent it, but we've perfected it)
The bay city rollers
Grounds keeper Willie
Tractor beams
Chief engineer scotty

But best of all and only just discovered @scaramanga
If it wasn't all a plot to keep us down then our kindness to world would have us held up as the colossus we are!
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I heard the Scots also invented copper wire…

It was two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.

(Meant in good jest…)
 
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